Road Trip 7: The Measure of a Journey
by Enthusiastic Fish
Summary: Tim and Tony are ready for another road trip, even in the midst of their more complicated lives. But this time, they're adding another member to the trip. Tim's son, Tommy, is going to join them part of the way on a trip up the East Coast. Tim and Tony end up in Acadia National Park...with things to discuss. 25 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Yes, this is part seven of my Road Trip series. It is still AU, and you might be surprised at Tony's situation. It starts up two years after the previous road trip (which, if you recall, ended with Tony planning on proposing to his girlfriend, Jo). Life is moving on and their lives are getting more complicated, but the road trip is still important.

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own NCIS or its characters, but I have loved playing with them.

* * *

**The Measure of a Journey  
**by Enthusiastic Fish

"A journey is best measured in friends rather than miles." – Tim Cahill

**Chapter 1**

"Well, that's enough for today," Tim said, standing and stretching. "We've been staring at this stuff for hours. Go home. We'll see if it makes more sense tomorrow."

"I doubt it will," Weston said. "You can't figure it out. Maren can't figure it out, and if you two can't, then, Sarah and I can't. Maybe it really is just gibberish."

"Well, that would still be figuring it out, now wouldn't it," Tim said.

Sarah chuckled and then rubbed her eyes.

"I feel like my eyeballs are going to pop right out of my head."

She widened her eyes as much as possible, staring at Maren with a wicked grin.

"Ew! Gross image!" Maren protested.

Sometimes, Tim felt like he was in charge of kids, not adults. He just shook his head.

"I think everyone's IQ is falling. Let's get that stopped. Go home. See you tomorrow."

"See ya, Boss," Weston said, with a wink.

"Don't call me that, Weston," Tim said, but without any real irritation. "You know my name. First _and_ last. I'll even let you pick which one you use."

With that, everyone started packing up to leave. It seemed like Weston's departure triggered everyone else's. Tim wasn't sure what had set that up as a pattern, but it was there. If Weston left, everyone left. Sometimes, Tim even found himself following along. He grabbed his bag and headed out of the building, ready to go home and see his family before they were in bed.

"Hey, Tim."

Tim paused and turned back, surprised to see Weston following him out.

"Yeah?"

"You really _don't_ like being called _Boss_, do you."

"Not particularly," Tim said. "It doesn't hurt my feelings. Don't worry about it."

"But you don't like it. I've just been teasing, but..."

Tim smiled. "Weston, stop worrying about me so much. You're like a mother hen, sometimes. I know how to take care of myself. I'm a big boy."

"Hey, maybe you just didn't realize it, but you were looking really bad before your kids were born, and you didn't look a whole lot better when you first came back. You were stressed out. Majorly stressed out." Weston shrugged a little, looking a little uncomfortable, actually. "When that whole... thing... went down..."

Tim nodded. He still didn't like talking about when Allison Jenkins had been killed. Everyone knew it, and they generally respected his wishes.

"You hid it from everyone, and the explosion afterwards... It came out of nowhere. Then, it was like you went from everything being completely fine to worrying about your wife dying or something. Tim, I've seen people burn out before. It's not pretty, and you don't deserve to go through that, but you're pretty good at hiding things, especially from us because you seem to think you shouldn't show anything complicated. You're getting better at letting us know you're a human being, but you still hide things. So I'm going to be nosy to make sure that my team lead doesn't suffer through something he shouldn't have to deal with."

Tim smiled a little, but in a different way. Weston hadn't ever really let up on his concern for his boss, but since Tim really _had_ been doing well, there had been little reason to bring it up. Now...

"You know that I was on Gibbs' team before I got my own."

"Yeah. Everyone knows that. Scuttlebutt."

Tim nodded. "I used to call him _Boss_ when I was on his team. When other people call me that... well, it reminds me of him. And you and Sarah both used to call me that sometimes before and it wasn't a problem. Since everything with..." Tim forced himself to say the name. "...Allison Jenkins, I haven't really wanted to be associated with Gibbs. It's not the compliment I used to think it was."

"Then, I won't say it anymore."

"Thanks, Weston."

Weston shrugged again. "Gotta keep the team lead happy. Otherwise, he might ship me off somewhere else."

"Not a chance. Now, I'm going home."

"See you tomorrow, Tim."

"Bye, Weston."

Tim walked to his car and was happy to leave work at work and get back to his family. He drove as quickly as he could. He was always glad to get home. He parked and walked into the house.

"I'm home!" he called.

"Da!"

"Daddy!"

Esther and Evelyn both ran into the front room, racing to get to him first. Esther won, as she usually did, but Evelyn was only seconds behind. Tim grabbed them both and picked them up, giving them kisses.

"Hey! Love you!" Tim said.

He spun them around in circles and they both screeched with delight.

"What is all that racket?"

Tim stopped and grinned as Delilah wheeled into the room.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tim said. "We were quiet as mice. Right, girls?"

"Mice!" Evelyn shouted.

Esther just giggled.

"Well, you're the loudest mice I've ever heard," Delilah said.

Tim leaned over, still holding the twins and kissed Delilah soundly.

"You're home early," she said.

"We'd been staring at the same computer screen all day with no progress. I decided that there was no point in staying late to keep doing the same thing. No one protested."

"As if they would. Well, dinner isn't quite ready yet."

"That's fine. Where's Tommy?" Tim asked, putting the girls down.

"In his room," Delilah said, significantly.

"What's going on?"

"He got in trouble at school today. First time the whole school year. His teacher sent a note home. I asked him if he wanted to talk to you or to me about it and he wanted to talk to you."

"Okay. What happened?"

Delilah rolled into the kitchen. Tim followed her while Evelyn and Esther ran happily into the living room and began playing with the blocks. There was a note on the counter, and Delilah handed it to him.

Tim looked at it and grimaced.

"So is he in his room because of you or because of him?"

"Because of him," Delilah said and smiled a little. "He only went in there about half an hour ago. He said he wanted to be ready for when you got home."

"Okay. How long until dinner?"

"Probably about twenty minutes. I haven't even got the water going for the pasta yet."

"Okay. I'll go and talk to him."

Tim put his gun away, took off his badge and went into Tommy's room. Tommy was sitting on his bed, staring at him. He must have been waiting. A pile of books was on the bed as well, so he'd been using his time.

"Hey, Tommy," Tim said, sitting down beside him. "What happened today?"

"I pushed Jon down," Tommy said.

"Did you say you were sorry?"

"No! I wasn't!"

"Why not?"

"He said bad things."

"What did he say, Tommy?" Tim asked.

"He said bad things about you."

"About me?"

"About cops! You're a cop!"

Tim nodded. "Yeah, I am."

"He said that cops are bad and they kill people. He said his daddy said that and so it had to be true. You're not bad, Daddy!" Tommy said, earnestly.

"I know that, Tommy."

"But you thought you were bad and it hurt you. I didn't want you to think you were bad again! You're not! So I told him to shut up, and he said he didn't have to. So I pushed him and he ran into the swings and I got in trouble. Are you mad at me, Daddy?"

Then, Tommy hugged him and Tim felt his heart clench as he thought back to that time. He had never realized how much Tommy had internalized from when he had been so angry and hurt, and it hurt him anew to know that Tommy was afraid of that happening again.

He hugged Tommy back and then faced him and looked him in the eye.

"Tommy, it's not right to push people when they say something you don't like."

"But..."

"No, Tommy. What you should have done was tell your teacher and then just stay away from Jon if you don't want to play with him."

"He shouldn't say that! It's wrong!" Tommy protested.

"Some cops aren't always nice, Tommy. Maybe his dad met one of those. He didn't have to be talking about me."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Mrs. Zilles says that she's not happy that I pushed Jon."

"That's because you don't usually do that, Tommy. It doesn't mean you're bad, but you made a bad choice. Now, do you know what you'll have to do?"

Tommy shook his head.

"What do you have to do when you make your sisters cry?"

"I have to say sorry," Tommy said, staring hard at the bed.

"Okay. So what will you have to do tomorrow?"

"Say sorry to Jon."

"That's right. But I'll go with you to talk to Mrs. Zilles, okay?"

"Really? But you go early!"

"I'll just have to be late tomorrow. We'll go to school and I'll talk to Mrs. Zilles. Then, you'll need to say that you're sorry to Jon. You don't have to play with him if you don't want to, but you should say sorry for hurting him. All right?"

"Okay," Tommy said, reluctantly. "Am I in trouble here?"

Tim smiled. "As long as you don't do that again..."

"I won't!"

"All right. Then, that's it."

Tommy chanced looking up at him.

"Can we play?"

"It's almost dinnertime. Why don't we go and help Mommy set the table. You can choose the plates."

Tommy still loved to do that. He perked right up and ran out of his room into the kitchen, Tim following close behind.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"When are you going to tell him, Tony?" Jo asked.

"You're beginning to sound like a broken record, Jo," Tony said, trying to be busy at the stove.

It didn't work. Jo was baby free at the moment and the twins they were fostering (and hoping to adopt) were actually doing homework.

"That's because you keep ignoring me and you keep ignoring the fact that you made a big mistake in not telling Tim a month ago."

"It's not a big deal."

"Oh, really?" Jo asked. "You've been in such a funk for the last month that even Sam noticed and he's only three months old. If you keep it up, Grace and Daniel will start to notice and they think everything in the world revolves around them."

Tony smiled. "They're teenagers. What do you expect?"

"Not quite. They have another year before that's official."

"Did anyone tell _them _that?"

Jo shook her head.

"You're dodging the question, Tony. When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't think I need to tell him at all. It's not like he'll think to ask."

"Aren't you going on your little road trip this summer?"

"Probably."

"You should go. You should call him and set it up and go."

"Not until school's out. Tim won't let Tommy miss. He's way too responsible."

"Well, we both know that you'll need time to plan it anyway."

Jo grabbed Tony's arm and pulled him down to her level so he had to look at her.

"Tony, it's okay to admit that you're upset. It doesn't matter if it's logical. Emotions aren't logical. They just aren't. Just ask Grace. She's so chock full of emotions that I'm surprised she even acknowledges that the word logical exists. The longer you put off telling Tim, the worse it will be. I may not know Tim as well as you do, but I know him well enough to know that he's going to be upset that you didn't say anything."

Tony straightened and turned back to the stove, making sure that the sauce didn't burn.

Jo's grip on his arm turned into a comforting pat.

"Maybe it'll help you, too," she said. "Isn't that what you've always said about these road trips? They're never just about the trip. They're always about something more."

"It hasn't been about more for me for a long time," Tony said, softly. "Tim's got plenty on his plate."

"And he's eating it up. He loves it," Jo said, smiling gently.

"Are you sure you want me to take off and leave you with all three kids? Maybe even four if they really do give us Grace and Daniel's little brother."

"I can handle it, and if I can't, I'll make my mom come and help me out. She keeps saying that she wants more time with the grandkids. This is your guy thing. You haven't had a chance to do it since Delilah had the twins and we got married and started fostering. You need this little trip. Just call him."

"Not right now. I'm making dinner," Tony said, knowing he was just putting it off.

"If you want to hide this from Tim, then, you'd better do the calling because if I call, I'll say something."

Tony turned away from the stove again and saw that determined look in Jo's eye. He knew that he couldn't change her mind when she got like that. He'd seen it for the first time when she had nixed the idea of a big wedding. She had wanted to have it at her parents' house, with just a simple ceremony and only family and close friends in attendance. No big party. No drunken reveling.

"Fine. Later," Tony said.

"When is later?"

"Tonight. Before I go to bed."

"Okay. Don't burn the sauce," she said and smiled.

Tony rolled his eyes and turned back to the stove. Privately, he knew that Jo was right, but he also felt that _he_ was right. There was no reason Tim had to know. There was no reason to give Tim anything else to worry about. He might be enjoying his life, but he always had something weighing him down just a little bit. Tony didn't see that his job was to make Tim carry more weight. It was to help him carry less. Therefore, no reason to say anything. None at all.

But the road trip... Well, it was true that they'd been planning on doing this for a while. Tony could admit that life had been getting in the way of thinking about it. He and Jo had thought long and hard about starting a family. Because of the work Jo did, she saw far too many dysfunctional and outright nonfunctional families and she felt she had to do her part to mitigate those situations. Tony hadn't been sure about getting involved in foster care, but Grace and Daniel had been with them for over a year now and their little brother Ivan was possibly going to join them in the next month or two with the idea that, eventually, they'd be able to adopt all three of them. Tony just hoped that it would all work out well. They'd had a couple of false starts. Jo getting pregnant had been a bit of a surprise, but that had worked out, too. Tony figured that they had enough kids now. He'd gone from being a bachelor to a father way too quickly.

Maybe a vacation like this _would _be good for him. And it was true that they'd planned on going. Tony would suggest that they take Daniel, but with nothing quite settled in the whole adoption process, he didn't want to risk anything getting spoiled. He'd heard horror stories about people who lost kids because they were told incorrectly that they could take a child on vacation and then got accused of kidnapping. Daniel probably wouldn't feel comfortable going on a trip without Grace at this point anyway. He still suffered from anxiety and why make it worse?

Well, he'd call and see what Tim had to say.

With Jo's threat hanging over his head, what else could he do?

The sauce looked perfect. He poured it over the cooked noodles, added a bit more cheese and then popped it in the oven to get nice and bubbly.

"Okay!" he called out. "Grace, it's your turn to set the table! Dinner will be ready in ten minutes!"

"Didn't I set the table yesterday?" came the protesting cry.

"No, I did!" Jo said loudly enough to be heard.

"Your turn, Grace!"

There was a melodramatic sigh and then heavy feet. Tony spared a moment to wonder why they had wanted to jump right into raising teenagers. At least with younger kids you could ease into it, kind of sneak in the back door and maybe stave off the drama for a little bit longer. Grace and Daniel were now twelve years old and they were way too much like teenagers already.

Grace came into the kitchen.

"You know the drill, Grace," Tony said with a smile.

"We could just eat sitting on the couch, you know," Grace groused. "This whole sitting around the table thing is way too..."

"Family-like?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

Grace looked at him and then at the plates. He knew that she was still struggling with the idea of having a permanent home. After spending most of her life being dragged around and then abandoned, she was still a little wary of trusting that it wasn't going to be her lot again. Tony patted her on the back. It was when he saw that look in her eye that Tony just wanted to be her dad.

"Get to it," he said, gently.

"Okay."

No further protest which was certainly rare enough to be treasured.

_How did I become so paternal?_ Tony wondered to himself.

But he'd always _wanted_ to be paternal, so even if it wasn't as he'd thought it would be, he was still getting what he wanted.

Then, suddenly Sam started wailing, upset about something.

"Right. I'm getting what I wanted," he muttered to himself.

Right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was very quiet in the house. Tommy was sleeping. The twins were sleeping...for the moment. Everything was cleaned up until the room exploded in the morning once Esther and Evelyn got up and got worse when Tommy came back from kindergarten.

Tim walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. He looked up at the ceiling and thought about the fact that his son still was affected by the worst moments in his father's life. That shouldn't have happened.

_Why did I let that happen?_

It was the question he couldn't stop asking, no matter how long he went to therapy.

"Tim?"

Tim sat up and saw Delilah looking at him with some concern. He tried to smile but it didn't quite feel real.

"Tim, it's not a big deal."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I may not believe it, but I do know it."

"Tim, kids get in trouble. No matter how good Tommy is, he's still a little boy figuring things out and it's expected that he'll make bad choices occasionally. Everyone has moments like that. I did."

Tim smiled. "What did you do?"

"I put glue on my fingernails, let it dry a little bit and then peeled it off," Delilah said, grinning.

"What?"

"It was fun at the time. I can't remember why."

"So why did you get in trouble for it?"

"I think it was something about wasting the glue. We probably dropped it on the floor, too."

"Probably."

"What about you?" Delilah asked.

"What makes you think I got in trouble?"

"Because all kids get in trouble. At least once."

"I got wads of toilet paper wet and threw them up at the ceiling of the restroom at school. Lots of other kids had done it, based on how many wads were up there, but I was the one who got caught."

Delilah smiled. "See? Even good kids get in trouble, Tim. You don't need to make this into something big."

"It's not something big, but it is something that's my fault. I didn't know he'd even remembered that time. He wasn't very old."

"He probably doesn't remember it consciously."

"That doesn't help. I'm going to take him to school tomorrow and talk to his teacher."

"Tim, you don't have to do that. She sent the note home so that we knew and could talk to him. That's all."

"And I've done that and I'm going to talk to his teacher, let her know that Tommy needs to apologize and show Tommy that I'm still there for him, even when he gets in trouble."

"All right. I'll call Laurie and let her know. I'm assuming that you're not going to pick him up after?"

Tim smiled and shook his head.

"I'm not _that_ upset."

Delilah maneuvered herself onto the couch beside him.

"You shouldn't be upset at all, Tim. Tommy will forget this in a few days. He'll probably be playing with Jon again next week. He often does at school."

"Do you know his dad?"

"No. Only his mom."

Tim nodded and sighed.

Then, his phone rang. He looked at it.

"It's Tony."

"I'm surprised he has enough time to breathe, let alone call you. I'm not sure that getting all those kids at once was a good idea," Delilah said.

"They didn't plan on Sam," Tim said and then answered. "Hey, Tony."

"_Well, that wasn't very cheery."_

Delilah smiled and then got back into her wheelchair, leaving Tim to chat.

"Don't take too long," she said. "I need my massage."

Tim grinned. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"_Tim?"_

"Sorry. Just talking to Delilah for a second. She's surprised you have time to do anything but deal with your full house."

"_Don't remind me."_

"I don't know if I've ever heard you so happy."

There was a pause while Tony seemed to be genuinely thinking about it.

"_You know... If I'd got married when I originally planned on it, I'd probably have kids in college by now. How's that for trippy?"_

"So you're that old, huh?"

"_Shut up. Now, what's going on with you? You didn't sound particularly upbeat when you answered."_

"I said two words, Tony."

"_Yeah, and they weren't happy."_

"Oh, Tommy just got in trouble at school today."

"_And you're confronting the fact that not every child is perfect like you probably were?"_

"No, and I wasn't perfect. Tommy shoved one of his classmates down...because the kid said something about cops being bad and Tommy was afraid I'd feel that way."

There was a pause.

"_Tim..."_

"You don't need to say anything. I've already heard it from Delilah."

"_And did you listen to her?"_

"Of course. She'd kill me if I ignored her."

"_That's not what I mean and you know it."_

"She didn't say anything that I don't already say to myself whether I believe it or not."

"_And do you believe it?"_

"Not at the moment, but give me a few days. I'll get over it."

"_Tommy's probably over it already."_

"Probably," Tim said easily. "By the way, Weston found out why I don't like being called _Boss_."

"_Oh, really?"_

"Yeah. He followed me out of the building after work today and asked about it. He said that I'm finally acting like a human being around the team but he needs to keep tabs on me so that I don't fall apart again. I'm not sure how I feel about that."

"_Be grateful that he cares enough to do that."_

"Or annoyed at the implication."

"_Ignore the implications, Tim. Half the time, you're making them up anyway."_

"Yeah. So what are you calling for? Do you have a court date yet?"

"_Not yet, but we're hoping it's coming soon. It'll be better for Grace and Daniel if they at least know when they'll know."_

"No second thoughts?"

"_I think I'm at hundredth thoughts or more, but I come to the same conclusion every time."_

"And that is?"

"_That I don't want to lose them."_

Tim smiled. Tony wasn't usually so direct in expressing himself.

"So if it wasn't that, why did you call?"

"_Can't I just want to chat with my best friend?"_

"Yeah, but that's not what you do. You're never just calling to chat. You don't chat."

"_Well, it's been two years."_

"Since we last talked? I think we've talked a little more frequently than that," Tim said.

"_Very funny, McGee. You know what I mean."_

Tim started to smile. "School's not out yet."

"_Well, we both have to make the request for time off anyway. It might take that long for HR not to start bellyaching."_

"And you're okay with Tommy coming along?"

"_Absolutely. I'd suggest we take Daniel, but I don't think he's ready for that yet. He has a hard enough time just being in different classes from Grace at school. Maybe in a couple of years."_

"And you want to go north?"

"_Maine. We have to get to Acadia National Park. I always wanted to go there. Heard about it, but I've never been."_

"I've never been, either. What's up there?"

"_We could go whale-watching!"_

"Is that it?"

"_I'm sure there are other things, too."_

"You don't even know!"

"_It's a road trip, Tim. I don't have to know."_

"So you always say, but it's never true."

"_I don't have to know everything, then. So?"_

"I said this summer was the time for it, but will you be able to leave?"

"_Will you?"_

"You know how Delilah feels about these things and it's not like we even do it every year. It's been over two years since the last one. Close to three."

"_Jo says that it's my guy thing and so I need to do it."_

Tim wasn't sure why, but he was getting the feeling that Tony was hiding something, but then, there was always an underlying motive. He figured that Tony would get around to telling him eventually. He didn't think that either of them had major issues to address right now, so it shouldn't be any kind of a big deal. He knew that he didn't. Maybe Tony just needed a break from being a dad.

"So you really want to?"

"_Don't start that again, Tim. I called. I asked. Yes, I want to."_

"Okay. Then, I'll start looking into times and talk to Delilah. You find out what else there is to do in Acadia besides watch whales."

"_Yes, Very Special Agent McGee."_

"Ha. Very funny. That's _your_ title, not mine. Now, I'm getting tired."

"_Now, who's getting old?"_

"Both of us, I'd imagine...since you're older than I am."

"_Ouch, Probie."_

"You asked for it. Talk to you on the weekend, Tony."

"_Okay. G'night."_

"Bye."

Tim hung up and smiled. At least now he had something to look forward to.

Tommy would be so excited he probably wouldn't stop talking about it until they actually went.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"You didn't tell him," Jo said.

Tony looked back and raised an eyebrow. "You were eavesdropping."

"Yes, I was. You didn't tell him, Tony."

"No, I didn't. You seem to think it's a big deal. It isn't."

Jo walked over and sat down beside him.

"Yes, it is. We both know it is and you just keep pretending. It's like you think that you're not allowed to have any problems just because Tim has had a lot in the past."

"He still has problems, Jo. Those things don't just go away."

Jo smiled. "And you think you have to make sure he doesn't have any...even though they won't just go away?"

"I'm trying to help him."

"Why not help him by letting him be as much a friend to you as you want to be to him?"

"Meaning?"

"Letting him help you."

"I don't need any help," Tony said.

"Uh-huh," Jo said dubiously. "Well, I'm not going to force you, but we both know that you're making a big mistake, if only because Tim will be hurt that you didn't tell him."

"Not if he never knows."

Jo actually rolled her eyes at him and then got up and walked away.

Tony shook his head. He knew he was right. There was no reason to tell Tim. No reason for him to ask or even to wonder. This would just be a fun trip, and in fact, he figured he'd better have a good idea of what there was to see on the way.

Besides, it would get his mind off things he didn't want to think about anyway. He went to the computer and began to see what there was to see in Maine.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Talking with Mrs. Zilles went fine, and Tommy promised he would apologize to Jon when he got to school. Tim was able to get to work only a little late. He had decided to wait until Saturday to tell Tommy, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to focus on school if he had told him in the morning.

When he walked in, he saw that his team was already back to staring at their computers, trying to break through the ciphers protecting the information...they thought.

"You all already look brain dead," Tim said as he walked in. "I'm only half an hour late."

"Where have you been?" Sarah asked. "Why leave us with the misery?"

Tim grinned. "I was taking my son to school. He got in trouble yesterday and I wanted to talk to his teacher."

"I hope you weren't cussing her out," Maren said, absently. "That's what my dad always hated the most about teaching. Parents who refused to believe that their little darlings could possibly do anything wrong."

Tim chuckled. "No. Tommy admitted it, and we trust his teacher. I just wanted to talk to her about what happened and ask if there was anything she'd like us to do in the future. It's Tommy's first time getting in trouble."

Maren glanced up. "Oh, my dad would love you. Asking how to keep it from happening again? And with a kid that's normally good? You must be golden."

Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Well, we're not making any progress at all. If they _wanted _to stall us, they couldn't have done... a better..."

She stuttered to a stop and they all looked up.

"What if..."

Tim nodded. "Maren, see what you can find out. Get help if you need it. Weston, take Sarah and go back to the scene. This might make sense."

They all jumped into action. While Maren was still working on the cipher, looking for something that was not meant to make sense was a different approach than trying to decipher a genuine message.

Amazingly enough, Sarah's idea panned out. Working with Cybercrimes, Maren was able to figure out that it was just gibberish, but that gave them a whole new angle and they were able to pick up two persons of interest, neither of which were interested in cooperating. So they went into holding. That also meant that Tim could plan on having Saturday off. Vance had encouraged Tim to give Weston more responsibility in the hopes that he might be able to lead a team of his own in the future. So, unless there was something going on needing his presence, Tim had begun taking the occasional Saturday off, leaving Weston in charge of the team with the stipulation that he should absolutely call if he needed Tim to come in. So far, it had been working quite well and with two people in holding, Weston more than capable of conducting an interview, and a suspicion of fraud, Tim could take his Saturday off without any guilt. That meant a free weekend, all things being equal.

It was the perfect opportunity to start thinking about this road trip.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Tim was sitting at his desk, taking a few moments to start compiling a list of places they could go, but he was worried that the usual time they took for a road trip (at least a week) would be too much for Tommy at his age. He was ready for a little trip, but the way they tended to travel wasn't as good for a little boy who needed his sleep and they'd have to think about what he might enjoy and what he might not enjoy. Tim wanted this to be fun for his son...so that he'd keep wanting to hang out with his dad as he got older.

If they had their starting point be Norfolk instead of D.C., it would give them a little more play for seeing different places.

"What are you doing, Tim?" Delilah asked him.

"Just thinking about where we'd go."

"When are you going to tell Tommy?"

Tim looked at her and grinned. "Once the twins are up from their nap. I don't want to have them awakened by Tommy shrieking his excitement."

Delilah laughed. "So what have you decided?"

"Well, I'm not sure we can do our usual. I just don't know if Tommy's ready for a full week of being on the move. That's a lot when he's not really used to it."

Delilah nodded. "You're right. We haven't been able to do much traveling. That might be kind of intense for his first trip."

She thought for a moment and Tim could tell the moment she'd come up with something.

"You're heading north, right?"

"Yeah."

Delilah started to smile. "What about this? You know that my mom has been asking if Tommy could come and visit them for a couple of days in Boston."

Tim saw what she meant right away.

"So we could see a few things going up to Boston, drop him off at your parents' and go on up to Maine and then pick him up on our way down and see a few more things."

"Exactly."

"That's actually a really good idea," Tim said.

"You don't need to sound so shocked," Delilah said.

"I'm never shocked at your brilliance, honey."

Delilah punched him on the arm.

"Ha. I know you don't mean it when you call me _honey_."

She left him to his planning, but he only had about half an hour before the girls woke up and Tommy was running in to ask Tim to play with him.

"Daddy! Come out!" Tommy said, eagerly.

"In a minute, Tommy. Come here, first."

Tommy obediently walked over to where Tim had been looking at an atlas.

"What's this?"

"A map!" Tommy said.

"Exactly. Do you know what a map is for?"

"It shows...places."

"Yeah. Well, this map has a part of the United States where we live. Do you know why I'm looking?"

"You're lost?" Tommy guessed.

Tim laughed. "No, I'm not lost. How would you like to go on a trip with Tony and me when school gets out in the summer?"

"A trip?"

"Yeah. Like the trips Tony and I have gone on before."

"I can go with you?" Tommy asked, sounding amazed at the prospect.

"Yeah."

Tommy thought about it and then, he started grinning.

"Where do we go, Daddy?" he asked.

"We're going to go and get Tony down here," Tim said, pointing to Norfolk. Then, he dragged his finger up the coast. "And we'll drive up to where Grandma and Grandpa Fielding live. Do you remember where that is?"

"Boston!"

"That's right. And you'll stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a couple of days and then Tony and I will come and get you and we'll go home."

"And I get to come?"

"Yeah, Tommy. This would be a trip for the three of us."

"And no Evelyn or Esther?"

"Nope. Just the boys."

"I get to go on a trip!" Tommy shouted, excitedly.

Then, forgetting what he had come in to do (get his dad to go and play), he ran out, shouting that he got to go on a trip over and over. Tim could hear him telling Delilah and then he could hear him shouting it at the twins who could be heard complaining about the noise.

Then, finally, he ran back into the room.

"Tommy, do you want to call Tony and tell him thanks?"

"Yes! Yes, Daddy!"

"Okay. Sit right here while I call him."

Tommy did sit down beside Tim, but he was fairly dancing in his seat.

Tim quickly dialed the number.

"_Hey, Tim. What's up?"_

"Hey, Tony," Tim said, smiling. "You have a minute?"

"_Sure. Shouldn't you be working?"_

"Nope. It's my Saturday off. We had a breakthrough yesterday, so I'm free for the day unless something happens."

"_Okay. What's up?"_

"I hope you're ready for this."

"_Ready for what?"_

Tim held out the phone to Tommy.

"Tell Tony thanks for the trip."

Tommy shouted into the phone.

"Tony, thanks for the trip!"

Tim laughed. He couldn't hear Tony's response, but he was sure it was a little surprised. Then, Tommy handed the phone back to Tim and resumed dancing with excitement.

"Were you ready?" Tim asked.

"_My eardrums sure weren't ready. I might be temporarily deaf in that ear."_

"Tommy's going to burst out of his skin, he's so excited."

"_I guess that means we _have_ to go, then, doesn't it."_

"Yep. No backing out now. I couldn't disappoint Tommy like that," Tim said, grinning at Tommy's continued excitement.

There was an unexpected pause.

"Tony?"

"_No, there's no way you'd disappoint Tommy,"_ Tony said, but his tone had changed.

"Is something wrong, Tony?" Tim asked.

"_No. I've just always liked seeing you be a dad, Tim,"_ Tony said, sounding more like himself.

Tim wondered about that moment, though. He couldn't explain just what had happened, but something had.

"Well, Delilah had a great suggestion," Tim said, testing to see if the moment really had passed.

"We're going on a trip!" Tommy announced again.

"Tommy, I need to talk to Tony for a little bit," Tim said.

"Come and play!" Tommy said.

"I will. Just give me a few minutes."

"Come and play!" Tommy said again.

"In a few minutes, Tommy," Tim said. "Go outside and I'll come. Okay?"

"Okay!"

Tommy ran out of the room, leaving a quiet moment in his wake.

"Whew. Okay. So... Delilah had a suggestion."

"_What?"_

"I don't know if Tommy's ready for a week-long road trip. So what she suggested is that we drive up to Boston, taking a couple of days. Then, we can drop Tommy off at my in-laws. They've been wanting to have him come and visit them. And then, we'll go on up to Acadia and back down, pick Tommy up and make a few more stops before we head home. What do you think?"

"_That sounds like a great idea. Did you have any places you wanted to go?"_

"Well, I was thinking that we could drive down to Norfolk and pick you up and then go to the Baltimore aquarium, the Statue of Liberty in New York...maybe even Coney Island if we had the time. Stuff like that. I think Tommy would like them. Any suggestions you might have for the drive up there."

"_I'll give it some thought. There are some cool waterfalls and stuff up in Acadia. We'll have plenty to see."_

"What? You actually checked it out in advance?" Tim asked, smiling.

"_I can do that when I'm given orders."_

"Good to know."

"Daddy! Come, play!"

"Okay, Tony, I'd better get going before Tommy comes in and starts to pull my arm off."

"_I'll do some checking on the dates and let you know so we can both get the time off."_

"Sounds good. Bye."

"_Bye."_

Tim hung up and furrowed his brow. Tony had seemed different, and Tim just wasn't sure what it was. He knew that Tony had been challenged by suddenly being a father three times over, but he'd seemed more than equal to the task and, by his own admission, he wouldn't give it up. Was that what it was? Just thinking about fatherhood? Maybe.

"Daddy! Come and play!" Tommy shouted again, running into the room.

Putting aside his vague concern for the moment, Tim smiled.

"Okay, Tommy. I'm coming! I'm coming!"

He left his phone inside and went out into the backyard to play with Tommy.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony grimaced as he hung up. That was about the worst timing for an illogical rush of emotion. Tim had noticed. It had taken some quick thinking to distract him...although Tommy had inadvertently helped out.

Even with that momentary drag, Tony couldn't help but smile. Tommy was full to the brim with excitement about everything. He would be fun to have on the trip, but he also liked Delilah's suggestion. It would let the two of them have some fun in the way they usually did on these road trips while still letting Tommy come along.

"Hey, Boss."

"What is it, Wilkes?" Tony asked.

"I think that..." He paused. "_Bowman _thinks that..."

"Hey!" Bowman protested.

Tony smiled. "What, Wilkes?"

"Well, we were just thinking that the carrier group gets into port on Monday and we'll be swamped with all that stuff as the crew goes ashore."

"Yeah? And?"

"And so, since we don't have anything pressing right at the moment, maybe we could call it a day early and then, we'll be really ready for the chaos on Monday."

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"You need two days to get rested up just in _case _something happens when the carrier gets here?"

Wilkes grinned. "You never know."

Tony thought about it. Wilkes never passed up a chance to get done early, but he was never late, and he always gave his best. Tony actually really liked him. He'd been shuffled around a few times simply because he was so overt about how he felt. His job was his job, not his life. His life was elsewhere. Bowman was more reserved and basically went along with most things, so long as they weren't breaking rules. He certainly wouldn't protest an early quitting time, either.

So could they do that? Responsibly, could they do that? Wilkes was right that they didn't have any pressing cases at the moment. One thing Tony liked about Norfolk was that, while there was often a steep increase in cases whenever a ship came into port, everything tended to be less serious. That didn't mean they didn't get the big cases, but in general, It was more AWOL stuff, fights, disturbing the peace. It wasn't as much the really serious cases, although they had their share.

"All right," he said, finally. "But if you're even a minute late on Monday..."

Wilkes grinned triumphantly. "Not a chance, Boss," he said and started gathering up his stuff.

Bowman lingered behind a little.

"Hey, Boss?"

"Yeah?"

"Is something wrong? You seemed a little bummed when you got off the phone. Is it about your foster kids?"

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, Boss. You said that you're trying to adopt. Did something go wrong?"

"No. Nothing's wrong, Bowman. We haven't heard about a court date yet, but we're expecting it soon."

Bowman smiled a little. "Then, I won't tell you any horror stories about what my family went through until everything is settled."

Tony laughed. "Thanks for that. I appreciate it."

Then, Bowman left. Tony sighed.

_Stop being an idiot, DiNozzo_, he thought to himself. _The sooner you set it aside, the better._

Finally, he grabbed his stuff and headed for home.

As soon as he stepped in the door, he could tell something was wrong.

"Jo?" he called out.

Jo came into the room, looking a little upset.

"You're home early," she said.

"We had things we could put off until Monday. What's up?" he asked.

"I heard from Ivan's case worker."

"And?"

She shook her head. "They don't think that we could give Ivan the attention he needs because we already have kids in the house."

"What?" Tony asked, incredulously. "Do they not know that it was pretty normal to have six or more kids not too long ago?"

"I don't know," Jo said, "but right now, it's not looking good, and Grace and Daniel will be so upset about it."

Tony sighed. "Yeah. Well, all we can do now is just promise that we'll keep working on it."

"I know. I just really wanted to have the whole family together. There are so many studies that show that kids do better with their siblings, but it's like that doesn't matter at all. They're not willing to look at the situation. It's just a rubber stamp and it really ticks me off."

Tony smiled and put his hands on Jo's shoulders.

"Take a deep breath, Jo."

She smiled back and did as he said.

"Okay. Once we have a court date for Grace and Daniel and we adopt them, we won't be fostering three kids at once. We'll _have _three kids and want to foster _one_. So we'll keep working on it, and we won't give up on it until we know we don't have any other choice. That's what we'll tell Grace and Daniel."

Jo nodded.

Then, Tony took a risk and said something he'd been feeling for a while but hadn't dared say aloud.

"But maybe this is a good thing."

"A _good _thing?"

Tony saw that irritation, but now that he'd said it, he wanted to make sure Jo understood and that she listened to what he was saying.

"Yes. I completely agree that we need to try to get Ivan and let them be together in the same family, but after that, can we not try to foster the entire state of Virginia?"

"Tony, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I just don't know if I have more fostering in me...at least not until we have our own family figured out. And yes, that family includes Grace and Daniel and hopefully Ivan. But can't we try and get settled with our family before we try to save everyone else?"

Jo walked over to the couch and sat down. Tony followed her over and sat down as well.

"I know this is something that means a lot to you, Jo, but I just don't know if I have it in me to keep this pace up. I'm fumbling my way through this whole fatherhood thing. I didn't get the chance to learn it gradually. It's all at once, and I need time to figure out what I'm supposed to do. I didn't exactly have the best example."

Jo's expression became sympathetic.

"I'm sorry, Tony. Honestly, I didn't even think about that. And really, you're doing a great job. I think Grace and Daniel needed someone like you. You make it look so easy that I didn't realize that it was hard."

Tony laughed a little.

"I'm glad I'm that good an actor. I love Grace and Daniel. I'm glad we have them and I don't want to lose them, but..."

"But more is too much."

"Yeah, it is. I'm sorry, but it is."

"Okay. Okay, Tony. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's all right. Now, I hope that Grace and Daniel weren't here for all this."

"No. They went over to play with Rob and Graham."

"Okay. After dinner, we'll sit them down and tell them about Ivan."

Jo nodded.

Then, there was a whine.

"Ah, Sam's up," Jo said. Then, she grinned. "And since you're home early, _you_ can change his diaper and I'll get started on dinner."

"I'm a better cook."

"It's your turn to change the diaper and you're so good at that, too."

"Oh, thanks."

"My pleasure," Jo said. Then, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Tony."

"Back at you, Jo."

Tony put his stuff away and then went back to the nursery and saw Sam getting ready to be really upset. His face was like a squashed tomato. Tony smiled and leaned over the crib and picked him up.

"Hey, Sam. None of that. You're not hurt. I understand that the wet diaper is probably uncomfortable but you could just tell me that."

Sam didn't seem disposed to listen and he kept whining. Tony took him over to the changing table and then gingerly proceeded to change his diaper. This was one part of parenting that he really hated. As far as that went, Grace and Daniel were perfect. No potty training. No diapers. They were fine on their own.

At the same time, he was understanding what Tim had meant about being a dad. ...and what he himself had said. Once he finished the diaper change, Sam began to gurgle at him happily and Tony found himself smiling back. Fatherhood was hard, but it was really worth it.

...but it would also be nice to have the break that would come with the road trip.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_One month later..._

"Okay. I think we've got everything we need," Tim said, staring at the bags by the door.

"Tim, you do. You have the essentials. Anything else can wait."

Tim looked over at Delilah.

"I just want this to go well. I don't want to scare Tommy off of hanging out with his dad."

"I don't think there's anything you could do that would scare Tommy off at this point. Stop worrying and just focus on having fun."

Tim smiled, but then, got his usual worried feeling.

"Are you sure you'll be okay with the girls by yourself and everything? I mean, I know that sounds bad, like you're not capable but..."

Delilah reached out and grabbed Tim's hand. She pulled him down and kissed him.

"Tim, stop worrying. If I need any help, Laurie said she'd be able to come over. The girls are almost three years old. I'm not going to force the potty training while you're gone and everything else will be fine. You go, have fun, and don't get into an accident while you're driving."

Tim smiled sheepishly.

"I know. I'm sorry I'm being so wimpy right now. I didn't expect to be worrying so much that..."

"I get it. Don't worry. It's fine. Now, go and get Tommy. I don't know if he really woke up, even though I woke him up three times."

"Well, it's not even five a.m.," Tim said. "I'm not surprised he had a hard time getting up. I'm surprised that _you_ got up this early."

Delilah rolled her eyes but smiled and shooed him toward Tommy's bedroom. Tim went in and, sure enough, Tommy had not really got up. Tim sat down on his bed.

"Tommy? Are you ready to go?"

Tommy's eyes cracked open.

"Yeah," he said, sleepily.

Then, his eyes closed again. Tim decided that it would be easier just to put him in the car and let him sleep. It would make the first couple of hours pretty quiet, but that was okay. There would be plenty of noise later on. Tim was feeling very awake at the moment and Tony had promised to drive the first leg from Norfolk. So, instead of working on getting Tommy to wake up, he got him dressed and then carried him out of his bedroom, draped over his shoulder. Delilah raised an eyebrow.

"Might as well let him sleep," Tim said. "When he wakes up, we'll call."

"Okay. Drive safely, and have fun!"

"We will. Love you."

Then, Tim opened the door, took Tommy out to the car, strapped him in his booster seat in the back, making sure that he was as comfortable as possible. Then, he put the bags in the back, got in the driver's seat and started on their way.

The road trip had officially begun.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"You should see if Tommy wants to eat something for breakfast before you guys get on your way," Jo said. "Even if he eats something in the car, you'll be having plenty of junk for the next few days."

"Are you implying that we don't eat well when we're traveling?" Tony asked, with a grin.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm implying."

"What are we going to do while you're off playing around?" Grace asked, a little grumpily.

"Enjoy your summer vacation?" Tony suggested.

"We're going to meet them at Monticello next week," Jo said. "Then, we'll have a little mini trip on the way back."

"Oh, great. A history lesson."

Tony raised an eyebrow at Jo. Grace had only decided that this trip wasn't fair in the last couple of days and had started grousing about it at every opportunity.

"Hey, I'm going to be back, you know. It's only a week, and then, you can go back to complaining about being bored," Tony said. "And then, it'll only be a couple more months and you can go back to complaining about having to go to school."

"Breakfast will be ready in about five minutes," Jo said. "We won't wait for Tim and Tommy, but we're going to leave some food for them, just in case. Got it?"

Daniel nodded. He'd said very little about how he felt about Tony's trip, but they'd all known about it for weeks. Tony suspected that Grace was worried about Tony leaving since it was the first time he would be going somewhere without the family, but she wouldn't admit it yet. He and Jo had talked about it and decided that it was best to let her get out her feelings as she wanted to and then, if necessary, address them in more detail.

"I'm just going to check my bag and make sure I didn't forget anything," Tony said. "Be right back."

"You'd better be. I won't leave you any eggs if you're too slow," Jo called after him.

Tony just waved over his shoulder and headed for the bedroom. He started checking through his bag and then, he heard someone come behind him. He turned around. Grace was standing there.

"What is it, Grace?"

"What if you don't come back?" she asked.

"I'm coming back," he said.

She shook her head. "Sometimes, people don't come back. Sometimes, they just go away and leave you."

Tony opened his arms, offering comfort that Grace was rarely willing to accept. Sometimes, she would, but not often. He knew it, but she was clearly upset and this would be the time to try it. And it worked. She ran over to him and hugged him tightly.

"Grace, it's always possible that something could go wrong, but guess what."

"What?" she asked, in a muffled voice.

"The one thing you never have to worry about is that I'll leave you on purpose." He pulled back and looked her in the eye. "I love you, Grace. This is not a way for me to get away from you. This is just a vacation. Tim and I have been doing this for years. I don't want to lose you."

"Promise?"

"Absolutely. I promise," Tony said. Then, he grinned and held out his hand. "Pinky swear."

As he'd suspected that brought a smile to her face and she shook his pinky.

"Now, let's make sure that Jo isn't going to really take all the eggs."

"I don't like eggs."

"Then, I'll eat your eggs and you can have toast."

"And bacon!"

"And bacon, but we'll have to share that," Tony said, putting his hand on Grace's shoulder as they walked back to the kitchen.

And she didn't try to brush it away.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Are we there yet, Daddy?" Tommy asked for the millionth time.

"Almost, Tommy," Tim said, striving for patience. "About ten more minutes."

Tommy had awakened about halfway to Norfolk. Once he had remembered what they were doing and that the trip had started, he had started talking about anything and everything, punctuated with asking if they were almost there.

Finally, though, he could see Tony's neighborhood and he happily followed the GPS directions to get to Tony's home. It was an actual house. Jo had insisted that they get a house with a yard and they had been able to afford a place outside Norfolk.

"Are we there yet, Daddy?"

Tim pulled up to the curb.

"Yes, Tommy. We're at Tony's house. Are you ready to get out?"

"But what about the trip?"

Tim turned around.

"We have to get Tony before we go on the trip, and we're going to take a bathroom break, too."

"Okay."

Tim turned off the car and got out. He walked around to let Tommy out and they headed for the front door, Tommy zooming ahead toward the front door. Tim jogged after him.

"Tommy, slow down!"

Tommy got to the door and started knocking.

"Tony, time for the trip!" he shouted.

"Tommy, you don't have to shout," Tim said, getting to the door.

Then, the door opened and Tim smiled.

"Hi, Daniel," he said. "Is Tony here?"

Daniel nodded and stood back to let them in without saying anything. Tony had told him that Daniel was still having some struggles, but that he was answering the door was a step forward.

"Hey, Tim! Come on in!" Tony called. "We're just finishing breakfast."

Jo came out of the kitchen.

"Tony's busy trying to eat all the eggs. Why don't you guys have some breakfast with us?" she said.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude. We had doughnuts in the car," Tim said.

"That's definitely not enough. Come in."

Tim took Tommy by the hand and they walked into the kitchen. Tony was clearly almost finished. Grace was eating a piece of toast, and it looked like there were enough eggs for about ten more people.

"Tommy, have a seat," Tony said. "Have some eggs and keep me company."

Of course, Tommy was happy to do that, but Tim made him go to the bathroom first. Then, he climbed up on a chair and began to eat the eggs and toast that Jo put in front of him.

"Tim, sit down," Tony said. "We have time."

"Are you sure?" Tim asked. "We have a long way to go."

"Positive. Sit!" Tony said, grinning.

"So he orders you around, too," Grace said.

Tim smiled and did as he was told.

"Yep. Ever since the first day I met him. He's never been able to stop."

Grace sighed heavily, but Tim also noticed that she was sitting right next to Tony and didn't really seem upset. Tim just chuckled and took some food as well. Then, Jo brought in Sam.

"You haven't seen Sam since just after he was born," she said. "Look at how chunky he's getting."

Tim smiled. "He's definitely chunky. Jo, you'd better hope he takes after you. With all the tall people in this house, you'll be lucky if anyone can find you."

Jo laughed. "It just gives me a chance to sneak up on everyone because they can't see me."

Tim reached out and took Sam's tiny hand in his. Then, he smiled as Sam automatically grabbed hold of his finger.

"He's cute," Tim said. "And he doesn't even look too much like you, Tony."

"I hope you're not saying that my son looks like a girl."

Tim laughed. "No, but you can definitely see the Korean genes. And he's very cute."

"Well, you can't take him, Tim. Don't get any ideas," Tony said.

"Wouldn't dream of it. I think Delilah would kill me."

"Well, eat up, Probie. We're burning daylight," Tony said. Then, he got up from the table and carried his plate to the sink.

Tim rolled his eyes but he finished off his eggs, grabbed an extra piece of bacon and took his plate to the sink.

"Are you done, Tommy?" Tim asked.

"Done! Let's go!"

"Take your plate to the sink," Tim said. "But be careful. Don't drop it."

Tommy piled his glass, utensils and napkin onto the plate and carefully carried it to the sink.

"Good job, Tommy," Jo said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Tommy said. "Let's go, Daddy."

"I think someone is just a little bit excited," Tim said.

"Hey, don't all your names start with T?" Daniel asked, suddenly joining the conversation for the first time.

Tim looked over and nodded.

"Yep. Tommy, Tim, and Tony."

"Is that on purpose?" Grace asked.

"No. I don't think Tony even knew my first name for the first year I worked with him. I was always just McGee. Then, I barely had a name at all. I think it took seven years for him to consistently remember that I have a first name. His memory is getting better though."

Both Grace and Daniel laughed at that.

"Hey, no trash talking me to my kids. They have enough ammo as it is," Tony said as he came back into the kitchen. "You ready?"

"Let's go, Tony!" Tommy said again. He started pulling on Tim's arm. "Let's go, Daddy!"

"Are _you_ ready?" Tim asked.

"Absolutely."

Tony walked over to Jo and gave both her and Sam a kiss. Then, he hugged Daniel and squeezed Grace's shoulder.

"See you all at Monticello in a week," he said.

"Have fun, Tony," Jo said, holding up Sam and making him wave. "You, too, Tim."

They left the house, with Tommy pulling at them to go faster to get to the car.

"Tony... Come back," Grace said, from the front porch.

Tim was surprised when Tony just smiled and walked back to her. He spoke to her in a low voice and then she went back inside.

"What was that?" Tim asked.

"Just a little anxiety about people leaving her. It's happened too often for her to be ready for it yet. This will be good for her to see that people _can_ leave and come back, that they _want _to come back to her."

Tim nodded.

"You're amazing, Tony. I don't know if I could do what you're doing."

Tony laughed a little weakly. "I don't know if I can do what I'm doing, either. I just keep doing it for lack of a better plan."

"No, I mean it. You're doing a great thing for those kids."

Tony just shrugged. "Well, we're burning daylight. You still want me to drive the first leg?"

"Yes. Give me a break. Maybe a little shut-eye."

"With Tommy in the car? I doubt it."

Tim looked and saw that Tommy had already got into his booster seat. He shook his head and smiled.

"You're probably right. Well, we'll see, but I'll let you drive anyway."

"All right."

Tony got in the driver's side and Tim got in the passenger side after checking to make sure Tommy was actually buckled in.

"Okay," Tony said. "Who's ready for a road trip?"

"ME!" Tommy shouted.

"And where are we going first?" Tim asked.

"Aquarium!"

"Then, let's get to it," Tony said. He turned on the car and pulled away from the curb.

Off on their next adventure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Daddy! Horses!" Tommy said, pointing to a sign.

They'd only been driving for about two hours, but that was the least Tommy had said at once in all that time.

"Oh, there are supposed to be wild horses out here somewhere, aren't there," Tim said. "Chincoteague or something like that."

Tony nodded. "I've never been. Want to check it out?"

Tim smiled. "Well, the road trip can't start without an unplanned stop, right?"

Tony looked back at Tommy and then at Tim. "That's right. Okay, let's go."

"Are we seeing horses, Daddy?" Tommy asked, eagerly.

"We're going to try, Tommy. I don't know if we'll find them, but we're going to look," Tim said. He didn't want to guarantee anything. He was used to disappointments occasionally happening on these trips, but he didn't want Tommy to be disappointed if they couldn't find any horses.

They came to an intersection and saw a sign pointing the way to Assateague Island National Seashore. Tony turned and headed east. Tim figured that they'd get to see the ocean, even if they didn't get to see any horses.

"You think he'll be disappointed?" Tony asked in a low voice as Tommy looked out the window, watching for anything exciting.

"I hope not. He'll get to see the ocean, though. That'll be something, even if it's not horses. I want this to be fun for him," Tim said.

"It will be. Horses or no horses."

Tim smiled and started to answer, but Tommy had a question. Another one.

"Daddy, is that a horse?" Tommy asked, pointing out the window.

Tim looked out where Tommy was pointing.

"No. Tommy. That's not a horse. That's a bird. I think it's a crane."

"What's a crane?" Tommy asked.

"It's a bird with really long legs and big wings. It eats stuff in the mud."

"Ew!" Tommy said, giggling.

"It eats fish, too," Tony added.

The crane suddenly took off as they drove by, spreading its long wings and tucking up its long legs.

"Wow!" Tommy said.

Then, they got to the bridge going over to Chincoteague Island.

"Daddy, is this the ocean?"

"Nope. Not yet," Tim said.

"Where's the ocean?"

"We're almost there, Tommy," Tim said.

"Why isn't this the ocean?"

"Because it's right in between two pieces of land, Tommy. The ocean goes on for a lot longer. It's bigger."

"But what's on the other side of the ocean?"

"Another continent."

"What's a continent?"

"It's a really big piece of land. We're on North America. That's a continent."

"What's on the other side of the ocean?"

"Europe and Africa."

"Oh."

Apparently satisfied, Tommy went back to looking out the window.

"See? That's what _I _couldn't do," Tony said.

"What?"

"Be so patient with all the questions. I mean, I love him, but does he ever stop?"

Tim laughed. "He has to sleep sometime."

"Yeah. Maybe. I wouldn't be surprise if he just kept asking questions in his sleep, too," Tony said.

"Well, if it happens, we don't hear it in our bedroom. So I guess we'll find out," Tim said, grinning.

"Oh, great."

"Daddy, is that the ocean?" Tommy asked.

"Nope. Not yet. Tommy, I'll tell you when we're at the ocean," Tim said.

"Okay."

"Will that work?" Tony asked.

"I doubt it."

"Ah."

"Doesn't hurt to try, though."

And Tim was right. On their way to Assateague Island National Seashore, Tommy asked if they were at the ocean at least five more times. The only time he didn't ask was when he couldn't see any water at all because they were in the middle of the island. Tim was tolerant simply because he knew that this was how Tommy showed his enthusiasm. He wanted to know all about everything and Tim didn't have it in him to suppress that curiosity, that desire to learn. He wanted Tommy to keep that for as long as possible.

"Daddy, do you see any horses yet?"

But that didn't mean that it didn't sometimes get a little irritating.

"Not yet."

"Okay."

Tony followed the signs to a beach access road and finally, the Atlantic Ocean spread out in front of them. Tony found a place to park and then, Tim met Tony's look and smiled.

"Okay, Tommy. We're at the ocean," Tim said.

Instantly, Tommy started craning his neck to see out the windows. Tim didn't want to make him wait, but he had to make sure that his son didn't do something foolish.

"Before we get out of the car, though, I need to give you some rules, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," Tommy said.

"First, you can't run away from Tony and me. You have to be with one of us all the time, and don't ever run out into the ocean. We'll wade in the water, but it's not like a pool. So you need to be with us. Now, what are the rules?"

"I stay with you and Tony and I don't go into the water."

"Good. Let's get out."

Tim turned to get out of the car and he saw Tony looking at him with a strange expression.

"What is it?" Tim asked, pausing.

The expression vanished.

"Nothing."

"Daddy, I want to get out!"

Distracted, Tim let the matter drop. He got out of the car and opened the door for Tommy. Normally, he trusted Tommy not to go running off, but on this trip, where he was so excited about everything, Tim wanted to make sure that his son didn't go darting into traffic...or into a rip current or something.

Tommy jumped out of the car and Tim watched with amusement as Tommy clearly reminded himself of the rules and didn't go running off as he obviously wanted to do.

"I don't see any horses," Tommy said.

"We'll have to look. Maybe they slept late today," Tim said.

He took Tommy by the hand and the three of them walked to the beach. Tim paused and took off his shoes and socks. Tommy was excited to copy him. Tony also followed suit and they began walking along the beach. Every so often, Tommy would slip his hand out of Tim's and dig down into the sand with his fingers and then throw the sand around. A few times, Tony grabbed Tommy and ran into the shallow water, Tommy shrieking with delight as the waves broke just enough to get them wet. Then, he would bring Tommy back out and they'd resume their course along the beach. After about twenty minutes, Tim stopped and knelt down. He put his arm around Tommy's shoulders.

"Tommy, look over there," he said, his voice soft. He pointed further down the beach. "Don't shout. We don't want to scare them away."

And sure enough, there were four horses out on the sand, nibbling at the grasses poking out of the dunes.

Tommy didn't say anything at first. He just sucked in a delighted breath and watched, entranced as the horses ate.

"These are the horses the sign was talking about," Tim said. "They're wild, so we can't pet them or feed them, but we can look at them, and even take pictures."

"Can I take a picture, Daddy?" Tommy asked.

Tim pulled out his camera and helped Tommy point it at the horses. Then, Tommy started taking photos.

"Look, Daddy! There's a baby horse, too!"

Tim nodded. The horses weren't particularly large. In fact, they seemed rather small in comparison to the horses he had seen other places, but these horses were interesting nonetheless. These four were all pintos.

"Okay, you two," Tony said. "Let's get you both in a picture with the horses in the background."

Tim smiled and picked Tommy up and put him on his shoulders, forcing Tony to back up a few more steps to get them both in the frame with the horses behind. After that, they got Tommy to take a picture of the two of them. It mostly worked. Tommy liked the novelty of taking a picture more than trying to get a good one. And then, Tim sat down in the sand and he and Tommy sent a couple of the pictures to Delilah.

After that, it was time to walk back to the car. Tim knew that Tommy wouldn't want to leave yet, but they'd have lots more to see. As they walked back, Tim didn't make Tommy hold his hand the whole time, but he watched Tommy like a hawk, just to make sure that he didn't go running into the water.

By the time they got back to the car, they'd been there for almost an hour.

"Okay, Tommy," Tim said. "Let's have a potty break and then, we need to get going."

"No!" Tommy whined.

"Yes, Tommy. Remember, if we don't get going, we can't get to the aquarium," Tim said. "You wanted to see the fish. Remember?"

Tommy stood there, deciding if he was going to be upset and then finally, he nodded and they headed for one of the port-o-potties after putting their shoes back on. They all did their business quickly and then jumped into the car and started back to the highway to get on their way.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

He'd always loved seeing Tim as a dad, but it was interesting seeing Tim consistently being a dad. Tony's views of Tim as a dad had mostly been in the context of visits to the house which were relatively short. What he was seeing was Tim as a dad who was a little overprotective but endlessly patient and who was devoted to his kids. While Tim's recovery had allowed him to see friendships with people outside of his family as something he deserved to have, he had never lost that connection to his family, the people who meant the most to him. And that made Tony see more than ever how special it was when Tim said Tony was a part of the family.

Tony couldn't suppress a pang, but Tommy's incessant talking kept him from remaining in the doldrums for long. He asked the most ridiculous questions sometimes.

"Daddy, do the horses chase the cranes so that the cranes trip and fall and then, they can laugh at them?"

Tim laughed. "I don't know, Tommy. Maybe they do, but the cranes could just fly away."

"Maybe the horses don't let the cranes fly. Maybe they trip them when they try to fly."

"Why would they do that?" Tim asked.

"Because it's funny!"

"Of course. Why didn't I think of that?" Tim said.

The drive to the National Aquarium in Baltimore wasn't silent by any means, but it was uneventful. The traffic was much lighter than it probably would have been at this time of day on the main roads. However, once they got to downtown Baltimore, things slowed down considerably.

"Look at all the people, Daddy," Tommy said. "Where are they going? Are they going to the aquarium, too?"

"Probably not," Tim said.

"Boy, I hope not. We'd never get in," Tony said.

They really weren't getting to the aquarium at the ideal time, but still, Tommy was starting to pull against the seatbelt, craning his neck for his first view of the aquarium.

They managed to get a parking spot relatively close to the aquarium. Then, they got out and headed for the main entrance. Tony smiled as Tim took a firm grip on Tommy's hand as they walked to the building. It was funny, yet endearing, to see Tim so careful about his son. It wasn't that Tony thought that Tommy should get to just run around wherever he wanted, but this was the first time Tim was taking Tommy on a trip like this and he was clearly a little nervous. Tony figured that his job was to make sure they all still had fun, no matter how much Tim might worry.

Predictably, Tommy started pulling at Tim's arm.

"Daddy, look! A boat!"

Tim had a grin on his face as he let Tommy pull him along.

"It's a ship, Tommy," Tim said.

Tommy either didn't hear him or just ignored him. Instead, he kept pulling Tim down the sidewalk until they were beside the two-masted ship moored beside the aquarium.

"Why don't you and Tony stand in front of the ship, Tommy," Tim said, pulling out his camera.

Tony picked up Tommy and pretended to be throwing him into the harbor. Tommy shrieked happily while Tim had just a glimmer of worry on his face. He still smiled, though, and quickly took a picture. Then, Tim got someone walking by to take a picture of all of them with the _Chesapeake_ behind them.

"Okay, Tommy. Are you ready to see the fish?"

Tommy began jumping up and down with excitement. He grabbed Tim's hand again and began pulling him toward the aquarium entrance.

"Tommy, you're going to pull my arm out of its socket. The building isn't going anywhere," Tim said, but he was smiling as they walked.

Tony followed along behind, feeling a little wistful. As far as he could remember, he never had this kind of experience. Not with his family anyway. Watching Tommy get Tim's attention as they walked inside, Tony couldn't help but be slightly jealous. Jealous of a five-year-old. Tommy was having the life Tony had always felt was what kids _should_ have. He'd never admit it now. He'd never have admitted it in the past, but this was what childhood should be like. Adventure upon adventure...with someone always there to keep you safe.

"Are you coming, Tony?" Tim asked.

"Just waiting to see you lose your arm, Probie," Tony said, smiling.

Tim laughed, but he had the slightly-confused look on his face and Tony knew he wasn't completely fooling him, but he also knew that Tim wouldn't want to have a serious conversation when Tommy was around, so he didn't worry about it.

Once they got in and paid the price to enter, Tim took Tommy over to the Blue Wonders pavilion. They started at the beginning and began to work their way up the five floors of exhibits. First, they saw the Blacktip Reef. Tommy ran to the glass and pressed his hands and face against it. Eyes wide as he saw the fish swimming around and the larger sharks. This time, Tim knelt down beside Tommy and began pointing out the sharks.

"There, Tommy! That's a blacktip reef shark."

"Wow."

Tony came over to join them and he began softly humming the _Jaws_ theme. Tim glanced up at him.

"Very funny, Tony," Tim said. "No great whites here. These definitely aren't as big as the mechanical shark they used in that movie."

"Oh, it was real," Tony said.

"Right."

"What's that, Daddy?" Tommy asked, suddenly, pointing out a large ray swimming along the bottom.

"I think that's a stingray," Tim said.

"Why don't the sharks eat the fish in the water with them?"

"I guess they don't like how they taste," Tim said.

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

"Oh."

Tommy stared for a little while longer and then he was ready to move on. They went up the escalator to the next level where the Living Seashore exhibit was. Here, Tommy could actually touch some of the animals and he was eager to do so. Tim helped by lifting him high enough that he could touch the smooth skin of a stingray.

"What's that, Daddy?" Tommy asked, pointing.

"That's a horseshoe crab," Tim said. "It lived at the same time as the dinosaurs."

"Wow! How did it not die?"

"We don't know, but look at that shell. That would keep it from getting eaten."

One of the horseshoe crabs came close enough that Tim could help Tommy reach over and touch it.

"Come on, Tony," Tim said. "We'll make room."

Tony edged closer through the crowds of people swarming around the place. Tommy tore his eyes away from the pool and looked at Tony.

"Tony, touch the animals! They're weird!"

"I think I can do that," Tony said. He touched the stingray as it came close, and he touched the horseshoe crab.

"It's weird!" Tommy said.

"Yes, it is. Very weird."

Those weren't as weird as the moon jellies, but they all touched those as well. Tommy was fascinated, but he was also a little kid who had boundless energy...and a short attention span. So after a little while at the touch pools (longer than looking at the sharks), he was ready to move on. Since this part of the trip was really for Tommy, neither Tony nor Tim tried to stay longer. The exhibits were amazing, but the aquarium was close enough that they knew they could go again another time.

They continued up until they got to the tropical rain forest on the fifth and final level. The rain forest was full of birds, but there were displays with snakes, monkeys, frogs, even a tarantula. Again, Tim let Tommy dictate how long they looked at each animal. All along the way, he was simply making sure that Tommy could see the animals and tried to answer the incessant questions. Tony participated as well, but mostly, he was enjoying watching Tim and Tommy in the never-ending seesaw rhythm of question and answer.

"Daddy, why are the frogs so blue?" Tommy asked about the blue poison-dart frog.

"That lets anyone who might want to eat them know that they're poisonous."

"Why are they poisonous?"

"It protects them."

"But the blue is pretty. Why is blue bad?"

"Blue isn't bad. It's bright and no animal would miss it."

"Oh."

Then, on to the next one.

"Daddy, could I hold the tarantula?"

"No, Tommy. No one gets to hold the tarantula."

"It looks fuzzy. Is it soft?"

"I doubt it."

"Why does it look fuzzy?"

"I'll bet that it's prickly like a cactus. No one would want to eat it."

"Ew! No one eats spiders!"

"But other animals might."

"Oh."

And on.

"Daddy, what's that?"

"It's a sloth."

"What's a sloth?"

"It's a kind of monkey."

"It doesn't look like George."

"George is a different kind of monkey."

"Does the man in the yellow hat have a sloth?"

"Nope. He just has George."

"Do you think he wants a sloth, too?"

"Maybe. But sloths are really slow. He might get bored with a sloth."

"But he wouldn't get in trouble like George does."

"Probably not."

Tommy stared hard at the two-toed sloth.

"Maybe there's a man in a green hat and he has a sloth."

Tim laughed. "Maybe."

"Will you look, Daddy?"

"Later."

"Okay."

After they finished the Tropical Rainforest, they walked back down on a slowly winding staircase through Shark Alley, where sharks swam all around them. Tommy was still full of questions, but there were times when he was just standing there, staring at the sharks. Occasionally, either Tim or Tony would lift him higher so that he could see the sharks as they swam by.

Once they got down to the ground floor again, they went over to the dolphins and then to the jellies.

Finally, they were all hungry and Tommy had his fill of fish. So they headed for the gift shop.

"Okay, Tommy. You can pick one thing for yourself and then you can help me pick out something for your mom and your sisters," Tim said.

Joyfully, Tommy went around the gift shop, wanting everything, while Tim was firm enough to keep him down to one. Tony was glad that he didn't have to worry about keep a five-year-old focused on the fact that he could only buy one thing. In the meantime, he decided to buy some souvenirs for his family. He decided to do t-shirts for Grace and Daniel. Then, he found a turtle necklace and he decided to get that for Jo. He looked over and saw that Tim was still preoccupied with telling Tommy that he only got to pick _one_ item for himself.

Good. Tony walked over to the shot glasses and decided to buy one for Gibbs. It would give him an excuse to stop by and check on him. Tim still almost never mentioned Gibbs and Tony had respected that, never bringing him up either. But he still couldn't give up on him and so, every so often, Tony would make an unannounced visit. Gibbs never complained. He never said he liked it, either, but he never complained.

By the time he'd chosen his souvenirs, Tim had three stuffed animals in his arms and a book about sea diving. ...and then...

"_Curious George at the Aquarium_?" Tony read.

"I couldn't resist after all Tommy's questions," Tim said, sheepishly. "And it's really cheap."

"So is the diving book for the girls or for Delilah?" Tony asked.

"Well, actually, it's for me," Tim said, reddening slightly.

"You planning on learning to scuba dive?"

"Not particularly. I just like seeing the pictures. Now, if we don't get out of here, I'm going to end up with a real python curled around my neck," Tim said.

"Your hands are pretty full," Tony admitted. "Well, let's get going. Tommy, did you have fun?"

"We saw fish! And the sloth! And the sharks! I touched a jelly!"

"Sounds very successful," Tony said.

They paid for their purchases and left the aquarium. Once they were back out in the sun, they had to make a decision.

"So do we press on, all the way to New York today or do we stop after the Liberty Bell?" Tony asked.

Tim looked at Tommy and then looked around and then, looked at his watch.

"I'm not sure that I want to push Tommy that much. It's one thing for us to do really long days, but this is Tommy's first trip. So let's do the Liberty Bell, and then find a place to stop for the night before we get to New York."

"Sounds good," Tony said.

"It's pretty good so far, isn't it?" Tim asked.

"Well, it definitely is for Tommy," Tony said. He held out his hand just low enough to Tommy to reach and Tommy gave him a high five.

"Are you enjoying it, too? I mean, I know that..."

"Don't worry about it, Tim. This is fun for me, too. Now, let's get back to the car, get something to eat and head for the Liberty Bell."

"Tommy, are you ready to eat?"

"Yes, I'm hungry!"

They walked back to the car and Tim took over the driving as they headed out of Baltimore, stopping only to go through a drivethru and get some fast food.

Then, it was on to Philadelphia.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Where are we going now, Daddy?" Tommy asked after they'd been driving for about twenty minutes.

"To the Liberty Bell," Tim said.

"What's that?"

"It's a really big bell with a crack in it," Tony said.

"How did it crack?"

"Do you know?" Tony asked Tim.

"No, I don't. But I remember that it's a really big one. They can't even ring the bell anymore because the crack is so big that if they tried it would break all the way."

"Wow. Is it neat?"

"Of course it is."

"Hey," Tony said suddenly. "We can see the Rocky statue!"

"The what?" Tim asked.

"The statue of Rocky at the Philadelphia Museum of Art," Tony said.

"What are you talking about?" Tim asked.

"_Rocky_. ...well, and _Rocky II_. In _Rocky III_, he's mostly running on the beach. In _Rocky IV_, he's in Russia and runs up a mountain. In _Rocky V_, there's a tiny scene running up the steps with his son. Then, in _Rocky Balboa_, when he's old, he runs up with his dog. He's training and he ends his run by going up the steps of the museum and then he stands there at the top of the steps with his fists raised above his head like this!" Tony demonstrated and then looked back at Tommy. "Help me out, Tommy! Show your dad! Yeah!"

Tommy laughed and copied him.

"Yeah!" he shouted, raising his arms above his head.

"Exactly! We have to stop there while we're in Philly and see the statue and run up the steps."

"Okay, okay," Tim said. "I guess I can hardly say no, but the bell, first. Then, we'll go to the Rocky statue. I think it closes pretty early and I'll bet we can go to the statue anytime."

"Works for me."

"Good."

"Daddy, look at that car! It's red!" Tommy said.

A bright red sports car zoomed past them, far exceeding the speed limit.

"I see it, Tommy," Tim said.

And for just a moment, he didn't look happy about it.

"Hey, you okay?" Tony asked.

"Yeah...just being stupid," Tim said and obviously forced a smile.

"About what?"

"Driving. It's nothing, Tony," Tim said in a low voice and then looked back at Tommy. "What other colors of cars can you see?"

"I see gray! And blue! And green! And more gray! And white!"

Tommy began listing off colors and kept doing it for the next ten minutes before he got tired of it. Tony let Tim avoid having a real conversation about that moment, but he could admit that having Tommy hear it would probably not be the best thing. Still, it was a surprise. Tim hadn't shown any reluctance to drive in years...and multiple road trips. Maybe it was just that Tommy was with them. Tim would definitely feel some responsibility for his son's safety.

They made it to Philadelphia and then Tony navigated them to a parking lot where they were lucky to find a spot.

"Okay, Tommy. We're in the city. You know what that means."

"I stay with you and I hold your hand," Tommy said, sounding like he'd said that kind of thing many times before.

"Wow, you have him well-trained," Tony said as they got out.

"He's five and excited about everything," Tim said, smiling. "If he doesn't know that there are rules, he'll likely get himself hurt and not in a way that he can easily get over." He started around the car to get Tommy out. "I know you think I'm overdoing it, but Tommy's my oldest and I don't know how to do it all yet."

"You're doing just fine McDaddy," Tony said, grinning. He slapped Tim on the back and kind of shoved him to the door. "I could only wish for a dad _half _as good as you are."

Tim looked at him with some surprise and then he reddened a little in embarrassment at the compliment. Tony felt a little embarrassed, too, but he didn't take it back. He meant it. Tim got Tommy out of the car and Tony was impressed that Tommy obediently took Tim's hand and didn't try to pull away. They must have gone enough places that Tommy really did know and understand the rules.

They walked along the sidewalks and Tommy was looking around at the buildings with interest but not the same kind of excitement as at the aquarium. Actually, Tony was surprised that Tim wanted to take Tommy here. Sure, it was pretty cool and part of U.S. History, but Tommy wasn't quite six years old yet! But Tim had insisted that this be one of their stops.

When they got to the building housing the Liberty Bell, they joined a large group going in, meaning a long line through the security check. Here, Tony noticed that Tommy was standing much closer to Tim than he had been. So without saying anything, he stepped closer to them so that there was someone he knew on both sides. Tim glanced over and nodded slightly but didn't say anything about it. No need to make Tommy more nervous but at the same time, it was good to acknowledge the nerves he already had. When they got into the room with the bell, there were a lot of taller people in front of them and Tommy couldn't see anything, so Tim picked him up and held him high enough to see until they could get close to the bell themselves. They took some pictures, and then, Tony was surprised when Tim set Tommy down and knelt down beside him. Tony stepped close enough to hear what Tim was saying in the midst of all the people.

"Tommy, this is called the Liberty Bell. Do you know what liberty means?"

"No," Tommy said.

"It means freedom. The reason people like this bell is because it reminds them that this country we live in is supposed to be a place where people can be free and there are a lot of places in the world where they aren't. Even here, sometimes, people haven't been free."

"Why aren't people free?" Tommy asked, looking at Tim.

"A lot of reasons, but for us, because we are free, we need to make sure that we don't ever forget how lucky we are to be here. It's not always good, but we have freedom and that's important. Okay?"

Tommy nodded solemnly. Tony was surprised that Tim would talk about something so serious on this trip, that he would be talking to Tommy about something so serious when Tommy would likely not even remember it later.

"Good."

"Okay," Tim said, standing up. "There's one more place we need to go and then we can go and see Rocky."

"Where's that?"

"You'll see," Tim said.

They walked out of the building and started down the sidewalk.

Then, Tim paused. "Oh, look! A ranger. Tommy, do you want to talk to the park ranger?"

"Yeah!" Tommy said, all seriousness gone.

"He might have something for you, too," Tim said.

Tommy clapped his hands and then dragged Tim over to the park ranger.

"Hi," Tim said. "Are you still doing the little souvenir cards?"

The ranger laughed at how eager Tommy was. "Yes, we are. What's your name?" he asked.

"Tommy!"

"Well, Tommy, how old are you?"

"Five!"

"I have some cards with me. Do you think you can answer a history question?"

"Can my dad help?"

"Maybe. You might know it. How long have you guys been here?" he asked Tim and Tony.

"Just the Liberty Bell. That's it. We don't have a lot of time but I wanted to stop here," Tim said.

"Okay. Now, Tommy, do you know where the Liberty Bell was before it was in the building where you saw it?"

"No. Does that mean I don't get a card?"

The ranger smiled. "No, that's not what it means. The Liberty Bell used to be in this building right here. It's called Independence Hall and it's where the Declaration of Independence was signed a long time ago. Philadelphia was the capital of the whole country when it got started."

"How did it get down?" Tommy asked, his eyes wide.

"The first time they rang the bell it cracked. They had to take it down and fix it, and they had to do it twice. Then, it was used kind of like the bell at school, to get people to come to meetings. But finally, it cracked again and they couldn't fix it. So they took it down and now, it's on display for everyone to see it."

"Cool!"

"Okay. Here's your question. Philadelphia used to be the capital of the United States. Do you know what the capital is now?"

Tommy grinned. It certainly helped that he lived so close to the capital. Tony knew that Tim had taken Tommy to the National Mall before...and that Tommy was pretty smart.

"Washington, D.C.!" Tommy said happily. "I remembered it, Daddy!"

The ranger laughed.

"We live just north of D.C.," Tim said.

"Oh, I should have picked a harder question, then," the ranger said. He leaned over and pulled two cards out of his pocket. One had a picture of the Liberty Bell and the other had a picture of Independence Hall. "Which one do you want?"

Tommy looked up at Tim.

"Just one, Tommy," Tim said.

Tommy looked back and forth between the two options. Then, he grabbed the bell, which Tony wasn't surprised at. Independence Hall was just a building to him, but he'd seen the Liberty Bell.

"Enjoy your stay," the ranger said.

"Thanks," Tim said.

Then, they kept on their way, walking about a block away from the Liberty Bell.

"Where are we going, Tim?"

"Just one more patriotic stop and then you can have your Rocky time," Tim said, but he smiled as he said it to show that he wasn't upset.

They crossed the street (with Tommy holding Tim's hand) and then, Tony saw where they were going. The Tomb of the Unknown Revolutionary War Soldier. Again, Tony wondered at this choice.

"Why here?" he asked.

"It's kind of a tradition," Tim said.

They walked over to the monument.

"Tommy, what do you see here?"

"A statue and a fire! Why is there a fire?"

"A long time ago, when we were fighting to be free, there were soldiers who were hurt and sick and they died here. We don't know their names, but because they fought for us, we want to remember them."

"How can we remember them if we don't know who they were?"

"We know that they're here," Tim said. "And we keep that fire going all the time. Do you remember the fire when we went to the cemetery in Arlington?"

Tommy nodded.

"This is the same kind of thing. We don't want to forget. The words up there say that freedom is a light. And we want to remember the people who helped us get that light. Can you say thank you to the soldier, even though he's not here?"

Tommy nodded again. He straightened and put his arms to his sides, like he was standing at attention.

"Thank you!" Tommy said.

"Good. Now, let's get a couple of pictures here and then, we'll go see Tony's statue."

Tony was impressed at the way Tim managed to explain the significance without dwelling too much on the death part. He'd even abbreviated the words, dropping out _for which many have died in darkness_, choosing to focus on the light instead.

They got a couple of pictures and then started walking back to the car. As they walked, Tommy suddenly grabbed Tony's hand and then started to swing between them, running forward and then kicking his legs up in the air, forcing Tim and Tony to support him as he swung back.

"Wheee!"

"So why do that, Tim?" Tony asked, in between helping Tommy swing.

"My dad brought me here when I was about Tommy's age, maybe a little older. It's not about being fanatically devoted to the country or believing it can't do anything wrong, but we really are blessed here and it's important to remember that. To appreciate what we have, even when we acknowledge that it can be better."

"You think Tommy understands all that? I mean, he's five."

"No. It's just a start, not the end. You don't teach it all at once. It has to be layer by layer, bit by bit until it's something he really knows. Not just one and done."

Then, Tim grunted as Tommy jumped especially high, laughing happily.

"Okay, Tommy. That was the last time. You nearly ripped my arm off. Let's get back to the car."

They walked back to the lot and then started over to the Phildelphia Art Museum.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

They had to find a place to park when they got to the art museum, but they lucked out...sort of. Tony was willing to pay the high price for parking in the museum garage. They walked around to the sidewalk in front of the museum.

"That's a lot of steps," Tim said, looking up toward the building.

"Seventy-two," Tony said. "Are you ready for that?"

"Wait, I'm not Rocky," Tim said.

"Nope. You're Tim. I remember your name."

"Ha."

Tony grinned. "I'll run up first to show you how it's done." Then, he pulled out his phone and suddenly, there was music playing. "This is the running-up-the-stairs music."

Tim laughed.

"Okay, okay. Tommy, do you want to run up with Tony or do you want to wait and run up with me?"

Tommy furrowed his brow and considered the choice. All the while, "Gonna Fly Now" was playing on Tony's phone.

"I'll run with you, Daddy," Tommy said, finally.

"Okay. Go ahead, Tony," Tim said. "Show us how it's done. Don't start gasping too soon."

Tony just laughed and started running. Tim quickly pulled out his phone and began filming Tony running up the steps.

"Play the song, too, Daddy," Tommy said.

"I don't know if I can find it in time, but we'll have it playing when we run up. Okay?"

"Okay."

Tim continued filming until Tony was all the way up at the top and was jumping around with his arms in the air.

"Come on, Tim!" he shouted down.

Tim turned off the recording and quickly found a track of the same song Tony had played.

"Okay, Tommy. Let's go. Can you run all the way up?"

"Yes!"

Tommy took off up the stairs, Tim ran beside him, making sure his son didn't trip on the stone steps which would end the fun for the day. He didn't outpace him, enjoying the fact that, while Tommy had more energy than he did, his legs were shorter.

However, the steps were wide and that meant he couldn't really skip any. Tim was feeling a little puffy when he got to the top, but Tony was right there, grinning and so he couldn't let on how tiring that had been.

Tommy was breathing heavily, but he didn't seem at all tired out. No big surprise.

"All right! You made it!" Tony said. He raised his hands over his head. "Yeah!"

Tommy copied him and Tim quickly took a picture of both of them.

"Your turn, Dad," Tony said. "Even Rocky did it when he was old."

"You're older than I am," Tim said, but he half-heartedly raised his arms, feeling a little silly.

"No. You have to mean it, McGee! Come on! Tommy, show your dad how it's done."

"Like this, Daddy!" Tommy said and raised his arms over his head, jumping around energetically.

Tim couldn't disappoint Tommy, so he did it with more enthusiasm.

"That's better," Tony said.

"It is a nice vew," Tim said.

"Now, let's go see the statue."

"Okay."

They went back down the steps and found the statue. There were quite a few people around, lining up to see it. When they got to the front of the line, they took some pictures as quickly as they could. Then, they went back to the car. They found a place to eat dinner before leaving the city, and then, it was time to get going. Tony drove them out of Philadelphia and on their way to New York. Tim was glad that he'd already decided that getting to the Statue of Liberty would be too much. So instead, he started searching for a hotel for the night, planning on them getting an early start the next day.

They finally stopped at a Marriott in New York and got a room. They took their things inside, although Tommy had fallen asleep and Tim had him draped over his shoulder.

They got a suite that had two separate bedrooms. Perfect. Tim and Tommy could sleep in one and Tony in the other. They wouldn't even irritate each other.

Tim got Tommy into his pajamas, sent a quick text to Delilah that they had just got to their hotel, and that Tommy was already sleeping. He promised that they'd call in the morning.

And then, it was time to sleep. Tim was happy to lie down and go to sleep and put off any other decisions until the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Tim woke up early the next morning. It didn't surprise him. He rarely was able to sleep in, and with Tommy there, Tim was just worried enough about rolling over and perhaps knocking Tommy off the bed that he didn't relax quite as much as he might have otherwise.

But he wouldn't trade this for the world. He sat up and looked at his son, still sleeping peacefully. Yesterday, had been a long day, full of exciting things, but still very long, especially for a five-year-old boy who wasn't quite used to it. It was no wonder that Tommy had completely zonked, given the opportunity. Today, they'd have more time just driving. They'd be seeing the Statue of Liberty first thing and maybe a swing by Central Park. Then, it would a long drive along the coast over to see the sights and get to Boston. As Tim sat there, he reconsidered the wisdom of pushing that much. It would be easier on Tommy if they didn't. Maybe they should be willing to wait until tomorrow morning to get to Boston. Just in case it took longer to get up there than they thought at the moment. But then, it would also be nice to have a free night. Plus, it might be easier for Tommy if Tim was there the first night he was with his grandparents. Maybe, it would be good to see what Tony thought.

Quietly, Tim got up and then, he got ready for the day, trying not to disturb Tommy. Let him sleep as long as possible. However, Tim also left the door open so that he could hear when Tommy woke up. He didn't want him to worry because he was alone in an unfamiliar space.

He went out of the bedroom and saw that Tony wasn't up yet. Grinning at this opportunity (and half-tempted to wake Tommy up just so he could jump on Tony), Tim crept over to the door, but he tripped just a little at the last minute and Tony sat up.

"Morning," Tim said, giving up instantly so that Tony didn't decide to get him back just for thinking of it.

"What time is it?" Tony asked, yawning.

"About 6:30. I'll need to get Tommy up soon, but I figured it would be better for him to get a full night of sleep after yesterday."

Tony nodded and rubbed his face.

"Probably a good idea."

"Yeah. When you're more awake, I wanted to talk about that."

"Okay. Sure. Just give me a few."

Tony got up and went into the bathroom. While he was waiting, Tim walked back to the living area of the suite. It was really nice having the separate spaces. He would never have thought of that as an option, but if they could find it again for other times, that would be nice.

About ten minutes later, Tony came out, fully awake and dressed.

"So what's up?"

"I was thinking that maybe we shouldn't focus on trying to get to Boston today. I was thinking that we should take it a little bit slower and then, if we need to, we just get another hotel room and then, drive over to Delilah's parents' place tomorrow morning. We'd stay long enough for Tommy to remember that he's staying. Then, we could still get on our way north tomorrow but it would be easier on Tommy."

Tony didn't answer directly for a bit, forcing Tim to say something else.

"But if it was close, we could still stay there tonight, have breakfast with them in the morning and get on our way, a few hours earlier. What do you think?"

"We're not so pressed for time that we couldn't take a little extra if we needed to. So basically you just want to have the options open."

"Yeah. I don't want to get Tommy so tired out that he can't have fun."

"He'll have fun. Don't worry about that. But...speaking of not having fun..."

"Yeah?"

"What was with you when we were driving into Philly yesterday?"

"What do you mean? I had a moment where I just got a little nervous is all. It's nothing."

"Didn't seem like nothing," Tony said.

"Well, it was," Tim said, feeling a little irritated. "That car was going a little crazy and I didn't want to get caught up in something like that. I didn't want an accident because that guy felt like he had to show off. I was a little nervous, but I was fine."

"Are you sure?"

Tim sighed and stood up.

"Tony, I don't always need saving," he said, almost angrily.

"Daddy?" came a worried voice from the bedroom.

Tim instantly turned away from the conversation (since he wasn't enjoying it anyway) and hurried into the bedroom. Tommy was sitting up in bed, looking a little scared. Tim smiled.

"Good morning, Tommy. How did you sleep?"

Tommy smiled when he saw Tim, but Tim could see he was a little uncertain still. Waking up in a strange place wasn't his usual situation.

"Do you remember where we're going today?" Tim asked, sitting down on the bed.

Tommy crawled out from under the covers and sat by Tim, a little too close for it just to be simple. Tim knew that Tommy had lost his confidence for the moment.

"Do you remember?" he asked again, putting a comforting arm around Tommy's shoulders.

Tommy thought about it and then nodded.

"Where?"

"The lady we can walk inside. She's a huge statue."

"She's called the Statue of Liberty," Tim said. "And you're right that we can actually walk inside her. We won't be able to go up into the top, but we can walk around. It's in New York City, but it's on an island."

"How will we get there?" Tommy asked.

"On a boat."

Tommy giggled. "Won't you get sick?"

Tim smiled. Tommy had already picked up on the fact that his father got seasick, and Tim was glad that, so far, Tommy didn't seem to have inherited it.

"No. It's a short ride. I'll be fine."

"When do we go?"

"Once you're ready," Tim said. "So go potty and get dressed and then, we'll get breakfast and go."

Worry over, Tommy happily jumped off the bed and scurried into the bathroom. Tim pulled out some clothes for Tommy to change into. He should probably make sure that Tommy took a bath that night...if only so that his in-laws didn't accuse him of not taking care of his son. Tim smiled at the thought. Virginia was pretty understanding and Michael was mellow most of the time, but occasionally, Tim felt like they suddenly realized that they were supposed to be difficult to their son-in-law and they razzed him about things.

Tony hadn't come into the bedroom and Tim was regretting his flash of temper, but there were times when he felt like Tony thought he had to always be having a crisis of some kind. And while Tim could easily acknowledge (or not-so-easily) that he had been in a state of crisis for far too long, he was doing really well. His family was doing well. His job was going well. Everything seemed to be in pretty good balance. It was a stressful balance at times, but it was good. He liked his life and he didn't need Tony to be thinking he was on the verge of falling apart again simply because he had a moment of nerves.

Tommy came out of the bathroom.

"Did you wash your hands?" Tim asked.

Tommy turned around and walked back into the bathroom.

Tim smiled and rolled his eyes a little. It was such a simple thing, but Tommy had to be reminded to wash his hands far too often.

Tommy came back out and ran over.

"Smell my hands, Daddy! They're clean!"

"I believe you, Tommy," Tim said.

"Smell my hands!"

Tommy shoved his hands in Tim's face and Tim smelled the scent of hotel soap.

"Good. Now, get dressed and then, we'll call Mommy before we go and get breakfast."

Tommy nodded and quickly got out of his pajamas and into his clothes. Then, he climbed onto the bed and sat on Tim's lap while Tim called Delilah. He smiled when her face came on the screen.

"Good morning," Tim said.

"Mommy! We're going into a statue today!"

"_Good morning,"_ Delilah said, grinning at Tommy's excitement. _"Are you having fun?"_

"Yes! We ran up steps and saw a bell!"

"_Sounds like fun."_

"And we saw horses on the beach!"

"_Really? Where was that?"_

"Assateague State Park," Tim said. "We should go out there again sometime. It was really nice out there."

"_Could we get my wheelchair onto the beach?"_

"We'd figure something out," Tim said, grinning.

"_How was the aquarium?"_

"It was good," Tim said.

"There were sharks, Mommy!" Tommy said. "And I touched a... what was it, Daddy?"

"A horseshoe crab," Tim said.

"_Wow. That sounds fun. Here, let me get the girls. Evelyn, Esther. Your dad and brother are on the phone. Come and say hi."_

There was the sound of running feet and then both Evelyn and Esther were pushing their faces into the camera.

"_Da! Da!"_ Esther said.

"Hi, Evelyn! Hi, Esther!" Tommy said, waving.

"_Wave to your brother," _Delilah said.

Both girls waved frantically at the phone.

"Are you doing okay?" Tim asked.

"_Yes. Everything's fine so far. Make sure you remember to call Mom and Dad and let them know when you'll be there."_

"I will. If we take too long in New York, we'll probably wait until tomorrow morning to get there. Tommy totally zonked out after yesterday and I don't want to wear him out too much."

"_Okay. Just remember to call. They might get grumpy."_

"I will. Okay, Tommy. Time to say bye!"

"Bye, Mommy! Bye, Esther! Bye, Evelyn!"

"_Wave bye-bye, girls."_

Both twins waved at the camera again. There was another round of good-byes and then they hung up.

"Okay, Tommy. Let's make sure we have everything and then we'll go and get breakfast, okay?"

"Okay!"

Tommy began to look all over the room, making sure that they had everything. He searched in every nook and cranny, as if the bags had exploded their contents all over the room in the night. Tim chuckled and just focused on getting the bags ready. Then, they went back out into the main part of the room. Tony was there and already packed up. He raised a significant eyebrow at Tim. Tim shrugged a little and felt uncomfortable, knowing that he'd overreacted to Tony's concern. Then, Tony smiled and looked at Tommy.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes! In the statue!"

"Okay, let's go and get some breakfast," Tony said.

"I want a piggyback!" Tommy said.

"Ask your dad if he'll carry my bag, then," Tony said.

"Daddy, carry Tony's bag!" Tommy ordered.

Tim raised an eyebrow and Tommy looked a little sheepish. As the oldest child, he'd started getting a little bossy and both Tim and Delilah were trying to make sure that he didn't become the bossy child everyone disliked, especially when he was usually so sweet-natured.

"Daddy, will you please carry Tony's bag?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, I will."

"Thanks!"

Tony smiled and handed Tim the bag. They went down to the free continental breakfast and Tim let Tommy tag along with Tony as they picked out their options. He made sure that it wasn't just sugary cereal that Tommy got, but thankfully, Tommy did like toast and he did like eggs. He was also a good eater which helped. Sometimes, Evelyn would be very stubborn about eating, but she always got hungry later on. Tommy never gave them that trouble, not even when he was excited. He might eat too fast, but he'd always eat.

Tim decided that he needed to be a good example and so he bypassed his own usual sugary cereal in favor of eggs and hashbrowns and even some yogurt with granola. He did snag a doughnut (no sprinkles), though, along with his coffee. Tony got a bagel and a banana and some mixture of eggs that might be called an omelette. Maybe.

They all ate quickly and cleaned up after themselves. Tim made Tommy go to the bathroom once more while Tony checked them out.

Then, they got into the car and started on their way to New York City and the Statue of Liberty.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Tony glanced over at Tim and wondered if he should say something. He wasn't sure if he was irritated at Tim's irritation or if he felt bad because he probably was going overboard. There had been some understanding already reached silently just because Tony could see that Tim was a little embarrassed at his own reaction. However, at the same time, Tony had just been expressing some concern. There was no need for Tim to get so snippy.

"I got us some tickets last night," Tony said, deciding to let the matter slide.

"You did?" Tim asked, in surprise.

"Yeah. I was reading a little and I was worried that we might not be able to get there. We were lucky to get some. The entire month of August is sold out."

"Oh. I didn't even think about that. Thanks, Tony," Tim said.

"I can plan ahead on occasion."

"Are we there yet?" Tommy asked from the back seat.

"Nope. We have a little ways to go, Tommy," Tim said.

"It won't be long, though," Tony said.

"Why don't you count all the blue cars you see," Tim suggested.

Instantly, Tommy leaned forward in his seat and started looking out the window. Tony could see what Tim was doing. Right now, unfortunately, all that they could see was the interstate. Cars and asphalt. If they had unlimited time, they'd take the side roads and get more of a view, but this trip was a little more focused, at least for the part with Tommy. Luckily, he was at the age where just looking for cars of a particular color could entertain him for a little while.

"Daddy, is that one blue?" Tommy asked.

"Yes. It's green-blue."

"Is that blue?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, it's a kind of blue."

Tony suppressed a smile at the inevitable questions.

"What makes something blue, Daddy?"

"It's because of light, Tommy."

"Is he ready for a science lesson?" Tony asked in a low voice.

"Always," Tim said. "As long as I give it at his level."

"Why light? Is light blue?"

"Some light is. The only way we can see is if there's light around. Right? Can you see in the dark?"

"No."

"So when we have light we can see. What color is your shirt?" Tim asked.

"Green!"

"Right. And it's green because, when the light hits it, the green light bounces off your shirt and hits your eyes."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Why doesn't it hurt?" Tommy asked, staring hard at his green shirt.

Tony laughed. "Yeah, Dad. Why doesn't the green light hurt?"

Tim smiled. "Because light doesn't weigh anything. So you don't feel it."

"It doesn't?"

"Nope."

"Wow."

"So why is the big truck by us blue, Tommy?" Tim asked.

"Because only blue light bounces off it!"

"That's right! Good job!" Tim turned around in the seat and gave Tommy a high five.

"Not bad, Dad."

"If he still remembers it later, it'll be impressive. Otherwise..."

"It's still impressive. I can't think of anyone who ever tried to teach me about light at age five."

"Well, what can I say? I'm a hopeless nerd," Tim said.

"No, you're not," Tony said, seriously. He didn't like Tim putting himself down, even as a joke.

He could see Tim deciding how to respond to that and then, Tim smiled archly.

"Are you saying there's something _wrong_ with that?" he asked.

"Maybe."

"Ha."

"Daddy, does that big truck count? It's blue in front but only white in back!"

"Yes, Tommy. That counts," Tim said.

"Hey, do you want to try to go up Freedom Tower while we're here?" Tony asked.

"Sh!" Tim said suddenly. "Don't mention that so Tommy can hear."

"Why not?" Tony asked in confusion.

"Because that's going to be a surprise for Delilah," Tim said, earnestly. "I want to take us all on a family trip to the Freedom Tower. It's completely wheelchair accessible, and we haven't really been able to do a family trip because of the twins. It'd just be a day or two, but I don't want Tommy asking to go."

"Sorry, sorry," Tony said.

"No, it's fine," Tim said, clearly trying to be nonchalant...when he wasn't at all. "But you know Tommy. He won't be able to keep a secret."

Tony laughed, even as he wondered at Tim's intensity. It was a lot like when he'd planned on proposing to Delilah and left the ring on the counter. Tim had in his mind the way things were supposed to be and if it wasn't that way, it was wrong.

"Daddy, that one is every color. Does it count?" Tommy asked, pointing.

Tim looked out the window confused.

"Where, Tommy?"

"There! On this side!"

Tony glanced over and was surprised to see a car that really did look like every color. It was as if someone had taken every paint color in the world, mixed them together and then poured them over the car and let the colors run and mix as they would.

"There's blue in that," Tim said, after a moment. "I think it counts."

"Yea! That's twenty blue cars, Daddy!"

"Great job."

And it only took about ten more minutes before they arrived at Liberty State Park in New Jersey. There was more parking on this side (rather than Battery Park in New York) and since they didn't have a convenient place to leave the car here, a lot was ideal.

"Tommy?" Tim asked as they pulled into a parking space.

"I stay with you and don't run off."

"Good. Let's get out and stretch our legs."

Tim and Tony got out and then, laughed as Tommy began dramatically stretching his legs out, one at a time.

"Nicely done, Tommy," Tim said. "Let's go find a bathroom."

"Hey, I'll go pick up our tickets," Tony said. "Looks like it's just over here. We'll meet back up over by the river okay?"

"Works for me. Come on, Tommy."

Tony watched as Tim and Tommy walked away together, Tommy holding Tim's hand. There was something that was just touching about it, even though he knew it was because Tim was nervous about something happening to his son on his watch. It was just so stereotypically parental and Tony loved the parent stereotypes. The good ones anyway.

Then, he refocused on his task and went to pick up the tickets he'd reserved the night before. Since they couldn't go up into the crown with Tommy (and Tim probably wouldn't really want to go anyway), it had been possible. If they had wanted the crown, they would have been out of luck until October.

Speaking of heights, Tony suddenly wondered why Tim would be planning a family trip that required him to go up over a 100 stories when he didn't like heights. Had Delilah said something about wanting it? Could Tim really enjoy something like that?

_Okay, Tony. Stop worrying so much. You're not his father. You're his friend. Just relax._

Then, he got to the counter, picked up the three tickets, found a restroom himself and then headed for the river. Tim and Tommy were there before him. He could see Tim kneeling beside Tommy, his arm around his son's shoulder, pointing out at the New York skyline and over at the Statue of Liberty. Tony hoped that Tim wasn't telling Tommy about 9/11. While it was something everyone needed to know about eventually, Tommy would have plenty of chances to learn about that tragedy without being introduced to it so young. Some people had no choice about the lessons they learned and when they learned them. Tommy wasn't one of those people.

He kept walking and as he got closer, he saw that his worries had been in vain.

"...and they could see this big statue and they knew they were almost here. She was a symbol to them of everything they could have here."

"Did they get everything, Daddy?" Tommy asked, wide-eyed.

"No, not everything, but they did get to come here and do their best," Tim said. "That's why it's called the Statue of Liberty. It's supposed to remind us of freedom."

"Like the bell?"

"Exactly," Tim said. Then, he looked back and saw Tony watching. There was a flash of surprise and then he smiled. "Have to get a little bit of a history lesson in."

"It's summer," Tony said. "That's the time for letting the brain rot."

"Oh, so that's what your problem is," Tim said. "You're letting your brain rot."

"Well, if you're going to talk like that, maybe I'll just keep these tickets for myself."

"No! I want my ticket!" Tommy said. "I want to see the statue!"

He jumped in the air to grab it from Tony's hand.

Tony laughed and held the tickets out of Tommy's reach. "I'm just kidding, Tommy. We should get over to the ferry. It'll be boarding soon."

"Okay."

Tommy was still jumping to grab his ticket.

"Tommy, stop it. You'll get it. Tony wasn't serious," Tim said. "We don't want to lose it before we get over there."

Finally, Tommy calmed down and they walked over to join the line to get on the ferry. The trip over began with a stop at Ellis Island. Tim got off, not to look around but to get off the boat for a few minutes. Tony kept Tommy on board and showed him where they were going next. Then, Tim got back on with the rest of the group and they went to Liberty Island, their destination. Tim kept a strong hold on Tommy's hand as they got off the ferry and headed straight for the Statue of Liberty. They could walk around the rest of the island later. Lady Liberty had to come first.

Tommy saw the statue looming up over them and he began pulling at Tim's hand, trying to get there faster.

"Come on, Daddy! There's the statue we get to go inside!"

"Tommy, slow down! We have to go through security before we can go inside anyway," Tim said.

Still, Tommy kept pulling and Tony just laughed and took a picture of the father and son on their way to the security checkpoint. They'd read about what was allowed into Fort Wood and what wasn't, so they were prepared and didn't need to get a locker for anything.

Once they got inside, they were in a kind of museum/gift shop. Tommy was everywhere at once, so excited to see everything and knowing that he was _inside a statue_, even if he wasn't really inside Lady Liberty herself. Still, he loved seeing the original torch, the face and the feet. Tony and Tim took plenty of pictures, mostly of Tommy posing for each thing they could keep him still to pose at.

Then, finally, they went up to the top of the pedestal for the highest view they were going to get. And it really wasn't bad at all. They could look out over the water, see the amazing New York skyline and also, of course, look up at the looming green statue.

That was what Tommy spent most of his time looking at.

"Why is she green, Daddy?" Tommy asked.

And the questions began again. Tony listened as he took in the view, and he admired Tim's patience once more.

"It's called a patina. That's what happens to copper when it's outside for a long time."

"Then, what color was it before?"

"Do you remember when we were looking at that big face inside?"

"Yeah."

"That's pretty much what it would look like. Like copper, but it's been green for a long time."

"Will it change again?"

"Nope. It's stable now and it'll stay green."

"Wow."

Then, Tommy realized that the ledge around the pedestal was too high for him to see over.

"Hold me up, Daddy! I want to see!"

Obligingly, Tim reached down and lifted Tommy up so he could look out over the ocean.

"Why are the buildings so tall, Daddy?" Tommy asked.

"Because there's no room to spread out."

"But why does everyone live here?"

"It's not all where people live. It's also where people work."

"But couldn't they work other places?"

"Yes, but I guess they like living here."

Then, to Tony's surprise, Tommy look over at the Freedom Tower.

"Is that where the big buildings fell down?"

"Yes, Tommy," Tim said, softly.

"That's sad."

"Yes, it is."

There was a moment of silence, and then, in the way that only little kids can do, Tommy completely switched subjects as he looked out at the water.

"Daddy, can we go fishing in the water?"

"No, Tommy."

"Why not?"

"We don't have fishing poles."

"Oh."

Tim set Tommy down and they headed back down to walk around the star-shaped base. Tommy loved this part. It wasn't very crowded and so Tim let him run around more, as long as he could always see Tony and Tim. There were multiple levels and that was fun for Tommy, too. As they walked along, keeping an eye on Tommy at all times, Tony glanced at Tim.

"He's going to be tired out already."

"Maybe for a little while," Tim said. "But you'd be amazed at how quickly he recovers from being tired out."

Tim lifted his camera and took a picture of Tommy as he was running over to look out at the harbor again.

"So do you miss your kids?" Tim asked.

"It's only been a day, Tim."

"Yeah, but you're still away from your kids. Do you?"

"Yeah. But it's nice to get away from the complications sometimes."

"Yeah. I get that," Tim said. "Is that all it is?"

"All what is?" Tony asked, hoping that Tim wouldn't try to probe.

Tim stopped walking and looked at him, but before he could say anything more, Tommy ran over.

"Daddy, can we go down there?" Tommy asked, pointing at the walkway that went right by the water.

"Yes, Tommy, we can. You okay with that, Tony?"

"Yep. Let's go."

They went into the gift shop first and bought a few things, but then, they walked down one more level to the grounds and began to walk around. It was much more crowded down here than it had been on the base, but it was to be expected and they simply did their best. Tommy held Tim's hand here, but he wasn't afraid. He was still excited, and he was even more excited when he saw one of the coin-op viewers. He dragged on Tim's hand again.

"Daddy, can I look through there?" he asked.

"Sure."

They walked over to the viewer. Tim put the money in and helped Tommy look through.

"Everything is so close, Daddy!" Tommy said. "I can see everything close up! I can see the water and a bridge and boats and people on the boats! And I can see buildings on the other side of the water!"

"Very cool, Tommy," Tim said. He glanced at Tony and looked like he was ready to ask another question.

Again, Tommy saved Tony from Tim's questions. Tommy started pulling at Tim's arm.

"Daddy, you look, too. Tony, you look, too!"

"You can look, Tommy," Tim said.

"No, Daddy. It's cool. I want you to see it, too."

Tony watched as Tim melted. He always did. His kids were definitely his Achilles heel. And when Tommy did something so sweet as wanting to share what he was seeing, Tim wouldn't say no to anything. Tony hoped that Tim would get a little more backbone in dealing with his son before Tommy became a rotten teenager.

"Okay, Tommy. I'll look," Tim said and looked through the viewer. "It's amazing, Tommy."

"Tony, you look, too!"

Tony bent over to look, but the timer had run out on the viewer.

"I can't see anything," he said.

Tommy looked into the viewer again.

"Why is it black?"

"Because the time ran out," Tony said. "I'll just put some more money into the slot."

Tommy shook his head and covered the slot.

"No. My turn," Tommy said, firmly.

Then, Tony was surprised when Tommy dug his hand into his pocket and carefully counted out the fifty cents that the viewer cost to use.

"Here, Tony! You can look!"

Tony ruffled Tommy's hair and then leaned over and looked for a few seconds. The viewers really did bring things in close.

...and then, Tommy proved that he was still a little kid, no matter how sweet on occasion.

"Let me see again!" he said, pulling at Tony's arm.

Tony laughed and stepped back. He grinned at Tim who watched as Tommy looked out at Manhattan until the viewer shut off again.

"Okay, we should start heading back toward the ferry," Tim said. "And we can get lunch once we're over there."

"Yes! I'm hungry, Daddy," Tommy said, forgetting the viewer completely in the face of getting food.

They went back to the ferry and got on the next one that arrived. Then, it was a relatively quick ride back to Liberty Park. Tommy began whining about being hungry and so their first stop once they got to the car was to get something to eat. Tim insisted that they actually sit and eat instead of eating in the car. And considering how messy Tommy was sitting in the restaurant, Tony could acknowledge that it was probably a good idea.

They considered driving over to Central Park but decided that it wasn't worth fighting New York City traffic and instead skirted around the city and then headed for the coast. They wanted to drive as close to the ocean as possible and hopefully stop in a couple of places to enjoy the beach.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Mis-quam-i-cut State Beach," Tim read. "Want to go?"

"Sure," Tony said. "We could use a break. A real break."

Tim smiled and looked back at Tommy who was currently looking at his books.

"Tommy, do you want to go to the beach?"

Tommy looked up.

"The ocean?"

"Yep. We'll play in the ocean."

"Yea!" Tommy said, clapping. "When?"

"Only about ten minutes, I think," Tony said.

"Yea!"

Tim loved it when Tommy got excited about things, especially when it was truly something he was seeing for the very first time.

When they arrived at the beach, it was pretty crowded, but there were still places to park in a very large parking lot and they found a spot. Then, they got into some better beach attire and they were off to find a spot. They weren't planning on staying for a really long time, but it was better to have a spot they could sit without getting in anyone else's way. Tim made Tommy stay on the beach for a couple of minutes while he checked out the water. Was it too cold, too deep, what were the currents like. Then, he went back and got Tommy and let him start playing in the water.

"Daddy, the water is salty," Tommy said.

"That's because it's the ocean, Tommy," Tim said.

Tommy knelt down in the wet sand and began digging down into it with his fingers, dredging up big piles until the next wave came in and washed his pile away.

"Help me, Daddy," Tommy said.

"Help you what?" Tim asked.

"Make a hill before the water comes!"

Tim knelt down beside Tommy and did as instructed. They made a big pile of wet sand and then the next wave came in and swamped them, stinging their eyes with the salty spray.

Then, Tommy looked around and saw Tony watching them from the dry sand.

"Tony, come and help!" Tommy called.

"You don't need my help," Tony said and lay back in the sand.

Tim grinned. "Should we get Tony to come into the water, Tommy?"

Tommy grinned, too. "Yes!"

Tim dug his hands into the wettest sand and came up with two large handfuls. Tommy copied him.

"Okay, we need to run; otherwise, he'll be able to stop us," Tim said.

Tommy nodded gleefully.

"Now!"

They both got up and ran over to Tony and then threw the wet sand on him, Tommy aiming for Tony's face while Tim just focused on getting Tony sandy.

"Hey!" Tony shouted in surprise. He sat up and looked at them both.

"Come on, Tony!" Tommy said. "Now, you're dirty and you have to come into the water!"

"I think I know whose idea this was," Tony said, looking at Tim.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tim said.

"Oh, you'd better run, Probie."

Tim laughed, grabbed Tommy and began to sprint back to the water, knowing that Tony was faster than he was. They got to the wet sand just as another wave was coming in and they were all soaked by it. Tony wasn't satisfied with that. He started splashing Tim in the face, pulling him into the water. (Not _too_ deep since Tim still was holding Tommy.)

"Splash him back, Tommy!" Tim said. "Splash him back!"

Tommy tried, but he wasn't as good at that as Tony was and they definitely got the worst of that particular exchange.

Finally, they called a mutual truce and walked back onto the sand. Tim put Tommy down and sat down with a thump.

"That was dirty, Tim," Tony said, although he wasn't really mad.

"Well, now you're clean," Tim said with an unrepentant grin. "I still have pretty good aim."

"So does Tommy."

"He always goes for the face," Tim said.

"Yeah, why do you do that, Tommy?" Tony asked.

Tommy just laughed and threw some more sand, not _at_ anyone this time.

"Speaking of good aim," Tony said.

"Yeah?"

"I have to ask."

"What?" Tim asked.

"How did you get me so good with the salt when we were at the Salt Flats in Utah?"

Tim felt a surge of conflicting emotions at the reminder of that time, but that moment had been so nice that he could smile.

"I just have good aim," he said.

"Come on. That salt wasn't packing together at all. I know because I tried to throw it at you."

"Maybe I'm just better at packing salt than you," Tim said.

"Nope. That's not it. How?"

Tim laughed, knowing that Tony was going to hate his answer.

"I spit on it."

"What?!"

"I had to get it to pack somehow. I needed a liquid and my saliva was the only liquid I had available at the time."

"You threw spitty salt on me?"

"Yep."

"Ew!" Tony said. "Gross!"

"Oh, you didn't even notice."

"No, I just didn't know it. Yuck!" Tony said. Then, he looked at Tommy. "Tommy, tell your dad he's disgusting."

"Daddy, you're disgusting," Tommy said, dutifully. "Tony, what does disgusting mean?"

Tony laughed. "It means yucky."

"Oh." Tommy thought about that. "Daddy's not yucky."

"Maybe you're right, but that was gross, Tim."

"It was years ago, Tony."

"And I remember it like it was yesterday."

"Now, you do."

Tim hoped that they could leave that particular topic without getting serious.

As usual, Tommy helped with that. He started splashing them both with water again and that led to another water fight. Then, they spent some time trying to build a sand castle without any tools (failing miserably). Finally, they were ready to rinse off the salt and get on their way. The Misquamicut State Beach had a relatively new pavilion and they were happy to use the showers. Then, it was back to the car, not completely clean but not too bad and they continued on.

After all their running around on the beach, they were all hungry and so as they drove along, they searched for a good place to eat. In true road-tripping style (or at least _their_ road-tripping style), they found a pizza place. Tommy liked pizza and so that was a good way to make sure that they weren't wasting money on a fancy place Tommy wouldn't appreciate. They ate at a relatively leisurely pace, having now decided not to push on to Boston but to get there first thing in the morning. Tim had already called the Fieldings and let them know. They _could_ have made it there, but it was getting late by the time they got to Plymouth and Tim decided that Tommy would be all right without an extra night at his grandparents. Instead, they got a hotel and Tim made sure that Tommy had a thorough bath. He still smelled of the ocean.

Then, after that, Tommy went to bed and was asleep in seconds while Tim showered and then Tony did.

Tim had wanted to talk to Tony a little, but either he was more tired than he had thought or Tony just took a long time in the bathroom because he fell asleep before Tony came out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Tony woke up first and saw that Tim and Tommy were still sleeping. Tim was actually _not_ snoring.

_It figures. When it might disturb his son, Tim makes no sound. I'll bet he snores tonight._

Oh, well. If he was honest, Tony was ready to drop Tommy off at his grandparents and get going with Tim. Tommy was fun, but it did limit what they could do. He and Tim were both willing to drive until they dropped if necessary and they could see things without worrying about whether or not Tommy would enjoy it...or whether or not he'd hurt himself. All in all, it had been fun up to this point, but it would be a different kind of fun for the next few days.

Right now, he was ready to be on their way, but while he wouldn't hesitate to smack Tim with a pillow, he didn't want to do that and scare Tommy.

Tomorrow morning.

Instead, he got ready and packed up his stuff while he waited. Then, he crept over to Tim's bed and nudged him.

"Tim, you're sleeping the day away."

Tim's eyes opened lazily.

"Huh?"

"It's getting close to seven. Let's get a move on."

"Seven?"

"Yeah, and we're burning daylight."

Tim yawned and sat up, looking around blearily.

"Okay," he said, yawning again.

He got out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. The door closed. Then, it opened again and Tim came back out, walked to his bag, grabbed some clothes and then went back into the bathroom.

Tony just watched without comment, silently amused. Then, he looked at Tommy and smiled a little sadly. It _was_ too bad that they couldn't have brought Daniel along.

_Some day,_ he thought to himself. _This will happen._

Tim came out a few minutes later, looking much more alert.

"Sleep well?" Tony asked.

Tim grinned. "A full night of sleep still isn't the norm, although it's better than last time."

"Ready to drop Tommy off?"

"Yes. I hope Tommy is."

Then, Tim walked over to the bed and sat down by Tommy.

"Time to wake up, Tommy," Tim said, shaking his son gently.

Tommy didn't respond at first, but then, he opened his eyes and sat up.

"Good morning," Tim said. "Are you ready to get up?"

Tommy nodded, getting more alert.

"Then, go potty and then you can pick out your clothes for today."

Tommy went into the bathroom looking more alert than Tim had but not really saying anything yet.

"Not a morning person?" Tony asked.

"Normally, he is, but he's been doing a lot more and staying up later. I think Delilah's idea of breaking up the trip for him by having him visit her parents was a great way to make sure he doesn't get overwhelmed."

After a few minutes, Tim looked at his watch and then walked over and knocked on the door.

"Tommy, what are you doing in there?"

"I'm waking up, Daddy!" Tommy shouted, sounding _much_ more alert.

"You don't need to be in the bathroom for that. Come on out."

Silence.

"Uh-oh," Tony said. "Even I know that silence is not a good thing where kids are concerned,"

Tim grimaced.

"Tommy, what are you doing in there?" Tim asked.

Silence.

"Don't make me start to count, Tommy."

The door opened, revealing a guilty-looking five-year-old.

"Tommy?" Tim asked.

Then, he looked past Tommy into the bathroom and groaned.

"Tommy!"

Tony walked over to look, and it took all his strength _not_ to start laughing. Tommy had taken the soap, shampoo, conditioner and lotion and used them as paint...and the mirror as his canvas.

"I wanted to draw like we did at school! On the mirror!"

Tony could tell that Tim was trying not to laugh...or else he was deciding how mad he should be at the mess Tommy had made.

"Tommy, this isn't at school and you don't draw on the mirror unless you have permission," Tim said. "Now, we have to clean it up before we go to breakfast."

"But don't people clean the rooms?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, but we don't need to give them extra work. They have to clean a lot of rooms and they have to do it fast. This will just make it harder for them. I'll start wiping down the mirror. You clean up the sink."

"Hey, Tim. I'll get the mirror while you get your stuff together," Tony said. "I'm already packed."

"You sure, Tony?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Don't worry about it. I'd take Tommy's place, but it's his mess," Tony said.

Tommy chanced a smile at Tony who winked and smiled back. Then, he looked over at Tim who had muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Yeah...supposed to clean up your own mess," Tim said softly and then went back to the room.

Tony looked after him for a moment. Gibbs wasn't quite off-limits at this point, but every time he came up, even obliquely, like now, Tim was still affected by the memory. Maybe that was just something that would always be the case, but Tony didn't like seeing it.

"Okay, Tommy," he said, focusing on the task at hand. "Let's see how fast we can get this cleaned up. _Both_ of us."

Tommy nodded and started wiping at the sink. Tony began wiping down the mirror. He didn't worry too much about getting everything off, but he did agree with Tim that there was no reason to make the people who cleaned the rooms work harder than they would generally.

Together, it didn't take long to clean up Tommy's mess and Tony shooed Tommy back out to get his clothes on. Tim was sitting there, a little more quiet than usual, but he smiled at Tommy.

"Are you mad at me, Daddy?" Tommy asked.

"No, Tommy, I'm not, but do you understand that you shouldn't have done that?"

Tommy nodded.

"Good. Then, get your clothes and get dressed so we can eat breakfast. I'm hungry," Tim said.

Tommy grinned, all worry gone and he quickly grabbed one of the tourist t-shirts they'd purchased and put it on.

"Okay, make sure you have all your stuff, Tommy," Tim said.

As Tommy began to search around the room, Tony walked over to Tim.

"You okay?" he asked in a low voice.

"I'm fine," Tim said, although his expression said that he knew exactly why Tony was asking.

Tony wanted to push, but remembering Tim's reaction the day before, he refrained.

Besides, Tommy suddenly declared that everything was ready for them to go. So they went down to the continental breakfast and Tony watched as Tim helped Tommy run the waffle iron and then got his own breakfast. Yes, they could wait until they got to the Fieldings' home, since they weren't really very far away, but since breakfast was included, it seemed silly not to take advantage.

After they all finished, it was back into the car for a short drive to Delilah's parents' home. Thankfully, it wasn't actually _in_ Boston. It was outside the city and so they could miss out on driving in that traffic. Tim drove since he knew how to get there and Tony had no problem with that. His only thought was how long they'd have to stay before Tim was ready to leave Tommy with his grandparents.

He suspected Tommy would be ready before Tim was.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

They pulled up to the Fieldings' house and Tim took a deep breath. Even now, he still worried about what Delilah's parents really thought of him, if they looked on his psychological problems as an indication that he wasn't worthy of their daughter. They'd never even implied that was the case, but it didn't stop Tim from worrying, and since he knew it wasn't a rational fear, he didn't tell anyone about it.

"Okay, Tommy! Here we are!"

Tommy sat up excitedly. Tim knew he was almost as excited to spend time with his doting grandparents as he was to go on the road trip.

They all got out of the car and Tommy ran ahead to the front door.

"Gamma! Gampa!" he shouted.

For some reason, Tommy had never learned to add in the 'r' in those two words. And it wasn't that he couldn't pronounce the letter generally. He didn't make that error in any other word. Just these two.

The door opened and Virginia was there holding out her arms, ready to grab Tommy and swing him up into a hug.

"Hello, Tommy! We've been waiting for you to get here!"

"Gamma!"

"Have you had fun?"

"Yes! We saw a bell and fish and went inside a statue and played on the beach and rode in the car and saw lots of blue cars!"

Tommy started talking about everything they'd seen and done with equal excitement. He ran over to his grandfather and hugged him tightly, still talking.

After about five minutes, Tommy began to run out of things that were amazing and fun and cool to talk about. Virginia took the opening.

"Okay, Tommy. Do you want to see where you'll be sleeping while you're here?"

"Yeah!" Tommy said, excited again.

Virginia held out her hand and Tommy took it, skipping as he went with her to the spare room.

"So, anything to add, Tim?" Michael asked, grinning.

"I don't know how I could possibly do better than Tommy," Tim said. "He covered pretty much everything."

"More than once," Tony added.

Michael chuckled. "I don't know how you manage it, Tim, but you seem to never lose your balance when it comes to dealing with Tommy. I think we'll be happy to hand him back to you in a few days, although my wife would never admit it."

Tim smiled, albeit a bit ruefully. He never thought he was that good at pretending to have everything under control, but he'd fooled his father-in-law apparently.

"Well, in some ways, he's just like I was as a kid. I know how to deal with myself."

"So where is it that you're headed from here?"

"Up to Acadia National Park in Maine," Tony said. "That's our final destination, but we'll meander a bit getting up there and then we'll come back on the interstate to save time."

"Oh, I haven't been up there in years," Michael said, leaning back on the couch. "Virginia and I went up there after we got married. It wasn't our honeymoon, just one of the first trips we took. It's gorgeous up there. It was after I got laid off. Probably not the best time to go traveling, but we did it anyway, just took whatever road was going north and didn't have a toll."

Virginia came in while he was reminiscing.

"Maybe we'll have to go back up there for our anniversary," she said.

"Sounds like a great idea. What's Tommy doing?"

"Organizing the toys."

"Maybe Delilah and I should send the drum set Tony inflicted on us up here," Tim said, grinning at Tony.

"Oh, no. He has plenty of noisy toys here. We don't need the drum, too," Virginia said, laughing.

"It was worth a try."

"Just accept that Tommy is a musician," Tony said.

"Except that the drum doesn't show us that. It shows us that he can make noise."

"So how long are you going to stay before you get going? If you're headed all the way up to Maine, you have a lot of ground to cover," Virginia said.

"We're leaving as soon as I can get Tim to go," Tony said.

"Well, Tim, if you'll allow for a little in-law meddling, I think you should go sooner rather than later. Tommy knows the plan already. You've probably explained it to him more than once, and he's having fun right now. So tell him that you're going and we'll get him having some excitement to help him adjust to being here for the first time."

Tim knew that Virginia was probably right. It was just that it was his first time leaving Tommy somewhere besides home, and even if it was his grandparents, it was still someone who wasn't himself or Delilah. Yes, they'd left Tommy with a babysitter before, but never for multiple days or even overnight.

Tony punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Come on, Tim. We need to get up there soon enough to go whale watching."

"That'll be on a boat, you know," Michael said. "Can you handle that, Tim?"

"I'll take some dramamine. It'll be fine," Tim said. Then, before there could be any more discussion about what he could or could not handle, he made a decision. "I'll go and tell Tommy we're going."

Tim got to his feet and walked into the room that Tommy would be sleeping in.

"Okay, Tommy. Tony and I are going. So you have a fun time with Grandma and Grandpa, okay?"

Tommy looked up from the toys, seeming a little flummoxed.

"You're going?"

"Yeah. Remember? Tony and I are going to drive further up north and we'll come and get you in a couple of days. You'll be staying with Grandma and Grandpa Fielding while we're gone." Tim leaned close to him. "And I'll bet you could get them to take you to get ice cream."

Tommy's eyes lit up.

"Right now?"

"Well, probably not right now, but I'll bet they will today or maybe tomorrow."

Tommy clapped excitedly.

"So we're going to leave. Do you want to come and say bye to Tony?"

"Yes."

Tommy went out and hugged Tony good-bye. Tim hugged and kissed him and then, they left the house. Tommy was yelling bye behind them. Tim was glad that he'd managed to make it into something fun rather than something to worry about.

Because he was a little worried about it.

But he didn't want anyone to know it.

As they walked out to the car, Tony put his arm around Tim's shoulders.

"You going to make it, Daddy?"

Tim grimaced and shoved Tony's arm off him.

"Oh, come on, Tony. It's a couple of days."

"Yeah, and every time you've been away from Tommy for more than a day, you've missed him."

"He's my son. Of course, I have!" Tim said.

Tony actually looked surprised. "Hey, I wasn't criticizing, Tim."

Another grimace at his overreaction.

"Sorry."

"Let's just go before we embarrass ourselves."

"You mean me."

"No, I mean both of us. I'll drive and you navigate us over to Highway 1A or 1, whichever."

"How far do you think we'll get today?" Tim asked.

Tony smiled. "As far as we can. We'll see what we can see."

Tim smiled, too. His worry fading as the second leg of the road trip was beginning.

"Sounds good. Head north on I-95."

"On it."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

There was a bit of tension accompanying the silence as Tim was looking at the map, determining their route and Tony was driving. They were mostly just enjoying the views and not stopping anywhere yet. They'd been driving for close to an hour with very little conversation. Tony couldn't take it anymore.

"So what's up, Tim?" he asked, finally.

"What do you mean?" Tim asked...but he wouldn't look up.

"Why are you being so touchy? I wasn't trying to insult you or anything and you totally blew up."

"No, I didn't. You've seen me blow up at you. That wasn't even close," Tim said, still not looking up from the map.

"So is that what it's about, then?"

"What?"

"That I've seen you blow up?"

"And melt down and freak out and whatever other phrase you can use to describe it."

"Is that it?"

"No."

"Then, what?"

Finally, Tim sat up and looked at him.

"Tony, I'm okay. I'm fine."

"Okay?"

"That's the problem."

"Huh?"

"I feel like you're just waiting for me to fall apart again."

"Why would you feel like that?" Tony asked. "You think I _want_ that to happen again?"

"No, but you're being way too concerned about little things. Like when I was driving on our way to Philadelphia. The car was driving erratically. I've been in car accidents before. I don't want to be in another one. So I was a little nervous until the car got past us. Anyone would have been in my situation, but you turned it into something more than me just being a little nervous. I'm fine! Not everything in my life is going to lead to a meltdown!"

"Tim, you have to admit that you've had a few of them."

"Yeah," Tim said, sounding more than a little irritated. "You don't have to rub my face in it, Tony. I'm well aware of that."

"No, that's not what I'm doing," Tony said. "What I mean is that, for _your_ sake, I don't want that to happen again and so I'm asking because... well, _not_ asking the first time is one of the things that got you into that mess to start."

Tim shook his head. "Even if you had asked, I wouldn't have told you back then. I wasn't willing to tell _anyone_, and that would have definitely included you, Tony. You know it."

"I know. But..."

"No, Tony. Just accept that you couldn't have solved it back then. It took something like what happened for me to talk about it. That can't change. ...but Tony, I am doing fine now. Am I perfect? No. But you need to stop looking at me as if I'm going to have another meltdown. For one thing, I'm doing well. For another... it makes me tense."

Tony laughed a little.

"Fine. I'll promise to work on it, but could you not be so sensitive about it, too?"

"I'll try. I make no guarantees."

Tony would have liked to push it a little more, but he was afraid that Tim might start pushing back and so he just let it drop.

"So is there any place for us to stop and see stuff?"

Tim looked back at the map.

"Of course there is, but we have to..." Then, he stopped. "Have you heard of Fort Stark?"

"Nope. Any relation to Tony Stark?"

"I highly doubt it," Tim said drily.

"Okay. What is it?"

"It's a historic park. Looks like it might just be free to see and it goes out to a nice lookout over the harbor."

"How far off the route is it?"

"Just a few miles is all it looks like."

"Okay. Let's go and see it."

"Watch for 1B. That's the road we need to take, on the right. And it looks like it just loops all the way around so we shouldn't even need to backtrack."

"Oh, even better," Tony said.

The required road came up and Tony turned onto it.

"Okay, now watch for Wild Rose Lane," Tim said. "That should take us right to it."

"Wild Rose Lane?" Tony repeated. "That doesn't seem particularly appropriate for an old fort."

Tim looked up and smiled. "What do you think would be more appropriate?"

"Something that's related to the military in any way, shape or form. Wild roses?"

"Well, back in the 12th century or something like that, didn't England have the War of the Roses? A civil war?"

"Yeah, well, that's England and not here. They could have got something like... Wild Cannon Pass!"

"What in the world is a wild cannon? Are there tame cannons?"

Tony laughed at the idea. "I don't see why not."

"Just watch for the road and stop trying to fix things that don't need to be fixed."

Tony raised an eyebrow. While Tim had obviously been joking, he wondered if there was a little bit of a double-meaning in what he'd said.

For his part, Tim didn't seem to realize that there was something else it could mean. He was alternating between looking at the map and looking out the windshield, watching for the turn.

Tony really was watching for the turn, but the small two-lane road had almost no signage. For a state park, it sure wasn't advertised well.

"Wait! That was it, Tony!" Tim said, pointing to another small road as they passed it.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. There was a sign."

"Where?"

"On the left side. Just a small green street sign."

Tony sighed a little. This had better be worth it. He was already feeling a little frustrated and this wasn't helping. He quickly slowed down, pulled into a driveway and then turned around and, this time, saw the sign Tim had pointed out. He turned left and started down a narrower road. It didn't even have lines painted on it! Still, it was paved, and unless Tim was way off, this was leading to a developed area.

So he kept on going down the lane. Trees on either side, narrow road with barely enough room for two cars and then, suddenly, they were out of the trees, with the ocean spreading out on their left.

"Wow. Look at that," Tim said. "I was beginning to wonder if we'd actually get anywhere."

And then, without any fanfare, the fort was right ahead of them, a small parking lot with just a couple of cars there already.

"Well, it looks like there's something here. Let's see what it is," Tony said as he parked.

"Okay."

They both got out of the car and began to look around.

"It's a fort," Tony said.

"Yeah, Tony. It's called Fort Stark," Tim said.

"Maybe Ned Stark will be here?"

"I doubt it. He's from further north," Tim said.

"A summer home?"

Tim looked around. "Not exactly how I'd picture Ned Stark's summer home."

"Spent a lot of time thinking about it?"

"Nope. Actually, I've never really watched _Game of Thrones_. It's Delilah's guilty pleasure."

"Yeah, sure."

"Seriously. She watched it almost religiously until the whole Red Wedding thing and that was too much for her and she stopped watching. I think she might be sneaking episodes in on the sly, but I haven't seen her watching since then."

"Okay. So now what?"

"I guess we look around," Tim said and walked ahead. "That's usually how these things work, right?"

Tony laughed and caught up with him.

"Well, I know you're opposed to using your phone..."

"Oh, don't start that again, Tony," Tim said. "I use my phone plenty."

"Then, get it out and tell me what's up."

"I don't need my phone for that," Tim said.

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. The sky is up."

Then, Tim grinned and strode ahead of Tony once again. Tony rolled his eyes and caught up once again.

"You're in a giddy mood."

"Nope. Just normal, Tony," Tim said.

That time it was obvious that Tim was making a point. However, it was equally obvious that while Tim meant it, he wasn't trying to get in a dig. He was just emphasizing what they'd already said. Tony could tell that he didn't need to say anything more. He just nodded slightly.

"So, tell me what we're seeing over here," Tony said as they walked toward one of the old buildings.

"The ordnance machine shop," Tim said, reading on his phone. "They also used the towers for triangulating positions."

"How old is this place?"

"Some parts look like they're from the 19th century, but some are post-World War 2. Let's go up these steps."

"Sounds good."

They climbed up to the top of the old batteries and looked out over a river draining into the ocean. They stood there silently for a few seconds.

"Have you ever wondered what you'd do if you had to go into the military?" Tim asked.

"Not really. Have you?"

"It's kind of a family thing," Tim said. "I've thought about it a lot."

"And?"

"And I wonder if I could hack it."

"I'll bet you could," Tony said.

"I don't know, Tony. The times when I've had to kill someone or when I've seen someone killed...even before... even before then, I still didn't really handle it very well."

Tony looked at the river and then over and Tim.

"You handle everything you have to. If there was some reason that we had to go into the military, you'd handle that, too."

"And you?" Tim asked, smiling a little.

"Oh, I could make it anywhere I needed to. I grew up that way... you know, adapting to circumstances. I'm good at it."

Tim raised his eyebrow, and Tony could tell that a question might be coming up. So he pointed out.

"What's that out there?" he asked.

As he'd hoped, Tim was distracted. He turned to look.

"I think it's a lighthouse."

"There's one that we can see closer than this, I'll bet."

"Oh, I'm sure. Maybe we could even get to that one. I don't know. It does look like it's out on an island, though."

They took a few pictures and then walked back down the old steps and continued along the path. What interested Tony was how little had been done to this place. It wasn't restored or spruced up at all from what he could tell. It was like the army had moved out and they'd simply changed the sign from a fort to a historical site. And he really didn't mind that at all. He kind of liked seeing this place in a more natural state.

They came to another building, this one with windows and doors.

"What do you think? Safe to go in?" Tony asked.

"Do you really think that there wouldn't be some kind of restriction if we couldn't?" Tim asked. "I mean, since this is a state park or whatever, that makes the state government liable if something happens here."

"True. Then, I'm going inside."

Tim laughed and shook his head.

Most of the doors were closed, but Tony stuck his head into the ones he could. The rooms were just empty. Nothing exciting.

"Concrete and metal," he said.

"I'll bet they weren't trying to make it look nice."

"Probably not."

They continued along, looking at the various ruins until they got to the shore and the breakwater. Tony instantly started walking on the pier out to the end. He stopped halfway out and saw Tim still standing on shore.

"Come on, Tim! There aren't any big waves here! It's fine!"

"How do you know? Maybe there will be one!" Tim shouted back. "And if there is, it'll hit _me_, not you!"

Tony laughed.

"Come on! Look at the water! It's calm. Get out here, Tim! You can't claim a fear of heights this time! It's not that high up!"

Tony gestured and then laughed again as Tim tentatively came out onto the pier. When the feared wave didn't materialize, he began walking a little faster. Finally, he was at the end.

"See? No rogue wave there," Tony said.

"We're not back on land yet," Tim said, but he didn't seem very worried.

"Be optimistic, Tim. The rocks are all dry. There's no sign that there are big waves crashing over, at least not now."

"Sure, whatever," Tim said. "The view is nice, though."

And it was. They could look straight out to the Atlantic Ocean. There was a lighthouse to the left and another stretch of coastline to the right. No real beach right there, but it was still a nice view.

"Well, that calls for photos, Probie," Tony said. "And if you want to conjure up a wave to spice up the picture, that would be great."

Tim shook his head. "No. That would not be great."

"Then, just pose and that will be good enough."

Tim did as instructed and then, they switched and Tony posed...as if he was about to fall into the ocean.

Then, they headed back to the car.

"Well, that was a good stop," Tony said. "Even if Tony Stark wasn't around here, it was worth seeing."

"I'm glad that the non-appearance of a fictional character didn't ruin your day," Tim said, with a chuckle.

"You ready to drive?"

"Yeah, but we should decide how far we're going to try to get."

"Okay. Let's look at the map, then. Could we get all the way to Acadia National Park today?"

"It's after noon now," Tim said. "How far is it to Acadia from here?"

They got back into the car and looked at their route.

"It doesn't look like the driving time will be much over three or four hours just to get up there."

"Of course, with stops, it'll be longer," Tim said.

"Yeah, but even if we doubled the time, it'd still be only around nine or so," Tony said. "I say we go for getting all the way up there. Then, we can spend the whole day there tomorrow and head back down to Boston the next day."

"Okay. Works for me."

"But first, we need to get lunch."

Tim smiled. "I'm all for that."

He turned on the car, put it in gear and headed back on their way.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

They continued driving in a vaguely northward direction. They'd had to drive west a bit to get back to their route after the detour to Fort Stark, but in general, they were headed north. Tim was fine with driving on the smaller Highway 1 (and the occasional times when 1A appeared). In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that they did need to make better time when they were headed back down south, he would have been happy to have this be the main route both directions.

They stopped and got some lunch and then continued on their way. They'd been going for about an hour when Tim's phone started ringing. He pulled it out and handed it to Tony.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Delilah."

"Oh, no!" Tim said, feeling terrible.

"What?" Tony asked.

"Answer it," Tim said. "I'll pull over."

He looked for the closest place where he could just pull over to the side.

"Hey, Delilah. It's Tony. Tim seems to think he's in trouble. What's up?" Tony said.

"Tony, don't make things worse," Tim said.

He saw a brightly painted rock and then a wider shoulder just beyond it. He pulled over, put the car in park and tried to grab his phone back from Tony.

"Oh, I see. Well, you know Tim. He gets into his focused mode and the rest of the world may as well not exist," Tony said, grinning as he fended Tim off.

"Tony, give me my phone back!" Tim said.

"You gave it to me, Probie."

"Tony..."

Tim stopped fighting and sat there, trying not to get pulled into something that would infuriate him. It amazed him that, after all the years he'd known Tony and the years he'd considered Tony a close friend, that he still hadn't figured out how to manage when Tony got like this. Maybe this really was what it was like having an older brother. Infuriating and supportive at the same time.

"Tony," he said, striving for calm, "please, give me my phone."

Tony smiled and Tim knew Tony could see just what he was trying to do.

"Well, since you said please." He handed Tim his phone and then added in a low voice, "She's not mad at you, Tim."

Tim smiled a little as he took his phone back.

"I'm sorry, Delilah. I completely forgot."

"_Luckily for you, my parents called,"_ Delilah said, sounding more amused than upset.

"I really did mean to call when we dropped off Tommy."

"_Tim, it's fine. My parents called because they thought that you might have forgotten. Mom said that you were a little nervous about leaving Tommy with them."_

Tim felt his face redden slightly.

"I wasn't nervous."

Delilah just laughed. _"Anyway, are you having fun?"_

"Yes. We're just about to Portland, Maine."

"_You're making good time, then. Will you be back early?"_

"Probably not. We're planning on spending the whole day at Acadia tomorrow and then come back down the next night. We should be right on schedule."

"_You say that, but I won't plan on it. Do give me a call when you get up there, okay?"_

"I will. I promise."

"_Good."_

"How are the girls doing?"

"_They're wondering where everyone has gone."_

"Does that mean the house is quiet?" Tim asked, grinning.

"_Are you kidding? If I hadn't made sure they had to stay out of Tommy's room, I'll bet they would have started playing the drum. Make sure you remind Tony that he is, under no circumstances, allowed to give any other musical instruments to our children."_

"I will. Love you."

"_I love you. Have fun. Bye."_

"Bye."

Tim hung up and put his phone away.

"Delilah said that..." he began.

"I'm not allowed to give any musical instruments," Tony said. "She tells me every time she sees me. I haven't forgotten."

"Are you listening is the bigger question," Tim said.

Tony winked. "I make no guarantees."

Tim put the car back in gear and pulled onto the road.

"Okay, here's something we need to do, Tim."

"What?"

"We need to go to a lighthouse," Tony said. "There are tons of them all along here, so we need to go to at least one. A real lighthouse, not like those little replicas we saw in Arizona."

"Well, since those were replicas of the ones over here, I think we can see the real ones. At least one."

"Good."

"So..."

"So what?" Tony asked.

"Buttons."

"Huh?"

"Sew buttons," Tim said.

Tony looked up and Tim grinned. He _was_ in a punny mood. He didn't know why, but he was genuinely enjoying the chance to make these lame quips.

"Oh, man, Tim. That's awful!" Tony said, groaning. "Seriously. So what?"

"So is there a lighthouse nearby?"

"Oh. Let me look."

Unlike Tim, Tony pulled out his phone and did a quick search.

"Ah-hah! There is! The Portland Head Light." Tony kept reading. "Oh, but they don't let you go inside the lighthouse. That stinks. There's a museum and it's described as the most beautiful lighthouse around. ...oh, and they have a gift shop! Okay. That makes it all better."

"Because you can spend your money on tourist stuff?"

"Exactly. Just keep going on this road. There's going to be a turnoff to Fort Williams Park. That's where the lighthouse is."

Tim nodded and kept driving. It was only a couple of miles before they got to the turn. Tim took it and they were driving on a road through a large park. There were plenty of people around since it was a nice early summer day, but that was all right. They could share the space with people...sometimes.

And they lucked out when they got to the lighthouse itself. The lot wasn't all that large, but someone was pulling out of a space just as they got there. Tim quickly took the spot.

"Whew. I was wondering if we'd have to walk all the way across the park to get here," Tim said.

"Walking's good for you, Probie. I'll bet you don't get enough exercise."

"With three kids under the age of ten? Dream on...or better yet, let _me_ dream on," Tim said.

"Not sleeping is not the same as exercising."

"Maybe not, but if you want to spend a day running after them, feel free and then you can tell me that I don't get enough exercise."

"I don't need to chase yours. I've got my own kids," Tony said.

Tim heard something in Tony's voice that gave him pause. It wasn't the same thing as before, though. He just wasn't sure what it was. As they started to walk toward the lighthouse, Tim stopped.

"Tony, does that bother you?" he asked.

Tony smiled. "No. It's what I always planned on doing, you know."

"Yeah, but you seem... not upset by it but... I don't know. Something."

"I'm not upset," Tony said. "Let's walk over here to get a good shot."

"Hey. Tony. Wait a second. That was clumsy, even for you. What's going on?"

Tony stopped and looked at him. Tim could see that he was deciding whether or not to explain himself. Then, he sighed.

"I finally had to tell Jo that we needed to slow down with the foster kids. You know her, Tim. She wants to save the world, and she wants to do her part as much as she can."

"And you don't?"

"I do, but I think our part is a lot smaller than she does. I think she's disappointed because I told her that we needed to stop getting foster kids for a while, and just focus on the ones we've already got."

"I don't see anything wrong with that. Did she?"

"Not really, but I don't think she realized I was a little less enthusiastic. It's not that I don't love Grace and Daniel. I wouldn't give them up for the world, and I agree with her that we need to try to get their brother if we can just so that they can all be together. ...but..."

Tim nodded sympathetically. "But that's just one more kid all at once. And doesn't Ivan have some disabilities?"

"Yeah. We think his mom was on drugs or something while she was pregnant. He has really bad eyesight and some coordination issues. He's also kind of low cognitively. But he's a sweet kid."

"Just hard."

"Yeah."

"Did Jo agree?"

Tony nodded. "She agreed, but I don't think she's really happy about agreeing."

"She didn't seem all that upset with you when we left."

"She's not upset. Disappointed, though."

Tim shook his head. "No, Tony. It's your family, too, not just hers. Jo knows that. Even if she had to take time to think it over and wrap her head around the change, I think she'll see that you're right."

Then, to Tim's surprise, Tony looked a little relieved.

"You think I'm right?"

"Yeah, I do. I would never have said something if you hadn't, but it's like I said before. You're doing something I don't think I could do. I can tell you love them and I think they love you, too, but that's a hard thing you've taken on. There's no reason to keep adding to it until you can't handle it anymore. Especially now that you have Sam, too. That's a baby in addition to foster kids. I think you should let yourself feel a little more at ease with it before you jump into a deeper pond. Make sure you can swim, first."

Tony gave a half-smile and then nudged Tim slightly.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Not that I think she'd listen to me, but if you want, I'd even say that to Jo."

"No," Tony said, shaking his head. "No, we're working through it. Honestly, I'd been wanting to say something to her for a long time, ever since we found out she was pregnant with Sam. I just kept chickening out."

"You'll get there. Tony, I can tell just by what I saw with Daniel and Grace that you're a good dad for them."

"Thanks." Then, Tony took a deep breath and obviously set it all aside. "Okay. Enough of that. Let's get some pictures of the lighthouse."

"All right."

They walked over to the lighthouse and the view was spectacular. The lighthouse was set right on the edge of an outcropping of rocks, overlooking the ocean (of course). It was the quintessential lighthouse, and Tim could easily imagine the lamp shining out in the darkness with stormy waves pounding on the shore.

"Wow," he said, softly. "I wish we could have got here at night to see it doing what it's supposed to do."

"I'd say we could stay, but I think that'd be asking for trouble as far as getting to Acadia," Tony said.

"Oh, I know," Tim said. "When I think of lighthouses, this is basically exactly what I think of."

Tony nodded. "Well, let's get some pictures here and then, it looks like we can get some from further away with the rocks. These rocks almost look like petrified wood."

"Yeah," Tim said. "I wonder what kind of rock it is. It would have to be harder than petrified wood to withstand the waves, though. Some kind of igneous or metamorphic rock, I'd guess. Sedimentary would be too soft to last."

"Thus quoth the science nerd," Tony said.

Tim grinned. "Nevermore?"

Tony laughed. "Come on, McPoe. Pose!"

"That's a new one."

"Just for you."

"Yeah, thanks."

Tim stood with his arms stretched out over his head, gesturing toward the lighthouse. Then, Tony took his turn posing...well, he lay down on the grass and acted like he was napping while Tim took his picture. Then, they walked a little ways to the north, along a path that followed the coastline. There was an overlook and they took more pictures there. Then, they walked back to the lighthouse and to the south of it where there was another overlook and they took more pictures.

Then, Tim looked out toward the ocean, that unending horizon. For some reason, it grabbed his attention and he just stared out at it. Every so often, he could see the rolling waves, but it still looked so flat.

Then, he jumped as a hand waved in front of his face.

"Earth to Tim! You in there?"

Tim looked away from the water and at Tony.

"Yeah. Sorry. Did I zone out?"

"Yep. I was saying that we need to check out the gift shop."

"Yeah, okay."

"You all right?" Tony asked.

"Yeah. I was just..." Tim looked out at the ocean once more. "It's a really different ocean from the Pacific. At least it is up here. It's...more wild and it feels... bigger, even though I know the Pacific is way bigger."

"No, I get it," Tony said. "It's different up here in the north. I guess that Oregon and Washington might be kind of like this."

"Maybe. Anyway, the gift shop?"

"Yes."

They walked back to the lighthouse once more and into the museum and gift shop. They paid the two bucks for the museum and looked around a little, enjoying the old equipment and some of the photographs. Then, Tony really wanted the gift shop, so they went in there. They looked around for a while (almost as long as in the museum), and then got down to business.

"Oh, look. A boat model. I'm getting this for Daniel. He loves putting these things together," Tony said. He also picked out a puzzle of the lighthouse for Grace.

"Grace likes puzzles? You should have her do some with Jimmy and Breena."

"Maybe I should. I hadn't thought of that," Tony said. "Actually, I don't know how much she _really_ likes puzzles. It's one of the few things she would admit to wanting at Christmas, so I'm working with what I've got."

"Well, I think we need hats or t-shirts, too."

"Hey, a Coast Guard hat! Perfect for you McSeasick."

"Yes. Perfect. Something I could never wear honestly."

"Exactly," Tony said, putting the hat on Tim's head.

They kept looking around. They got a bunch of t-shirts with various iterations of the Portland Head Light on them. Then, Tim picked out a book that was mostly pictures of the lighthouse over time.

"Who's that for?" Tony asked.

"Sarah. She loves this kind of stuff. She's just about the only person I dare buy books for. ...well, besides my kids."

"Not the same kinds of books."

"No, not quite."

They did their part in supporting the Portland Head Light in buying a bunch of souvenirs. Then, they left the shop and headed for the car.

"I can keep driving," Tim said. "It hasn't been very long yet."

"No, I'll drive. You can keep on the lookout for other cool stuff to see as we keep driving up the coast."

"Okay."

They hopped in the car and continued on their way.

"Oh, and I don't care where we eat tonight, but we're getting lobster at least once while we're in Maine."

"That's kind of expensive," Tim said.

"Just once, Probie. We _have_ to! That's what Maine is known for!"

"Okay, okay," Tim said. "Maybe not tonight though. Maybe we should save it for tomorrow night. Celebration of the great day at Acadia."

"Don't jinx us, McGee," Tony said.

"I hope I don't, but honestly, since we're not sure when and where we'll be stopping, I'd rather wait until tomorrow."

"Okay, but we're not leaving Maine without eating lobster. Got it?"

"Got it."

Tim looked at the map for a while longer and as they continued their drive. They would stop every so often just to get some nice pictures of the coast, but often, their route had them driving through forest rather than directly on the coast. That was all right. It was a relaxing drive, too. Not too much traffic and it was quiet. They talked about nothing in particular, but Tim still felt like there was something else Tony wasn't talking about. The kids had been something, but Tim was sure there was something else. Still, Tony had always talked about things when he was ready, and so Tim didn't worry too much about trying to get it out of him. He'd say it eventually.

After a drive of quick stops all along the way, it was evening by the time they got close to Bar Harbor.

"Okay, we need a hotel," Tim said. "Do you want to stay in Bar Harbor? That's closest to the entrance to Acadia."

"Can we?"

"Lots of choices," Tim said, looking at his phone. "Some are full up already."

"Okay. Well, I think if we can get in one in Bar Harbor, we should. Why make ourselves have to drive more than we would if we were just there?"

"Fine by me. How expensive?"

The last two road trips had ended with very expensive hotels, and Tim really wasn't sure he wanted that, but he'd see what Tony said.

"Let's not go too crazy this time. Something nice, preferably with a view of something ocean-y."

"Ocean-y?" Tim repeated.

"Yep. That's exactly what I said. But let's not shoot for the stars."

"Are you really saying that we should be practical?" Tim asked in mock amazement.

"I've got three kids, too, you know," Tony said. "I can be responsible on rare occasions. And don't be _too_ practical. No Best Western or Motel 6, okay?"

"Okay."

Tim looked at his phone for a bit longer.

"Here's one. Two queen beds, private terrace. About $250 per night. Breakfast included."

"Hotel?"

"Inn, apparently locally run."

"Good reviews?"

"Yep. Nearly five-star."

"Okay. That works for me. Get it for both nights."

Tim nodded a book a room for the two nights they'd be staying.

"Now, get us there."

"Well, we're not to Bar Harbor yet, and that's where it is," Tim said. "So go to Bar Harbor."

It took another ten minutes to get to Bar Harbor. Then, Tim gave the directions to the inn. They parked, grabbed their stuff, and headed into the inn and to their room. The room was the basic setup of a typical hotel room, but it was a little more upscale without feeling fussy.

They dropped off their stuff, got some food to eat. Both of them called home to report their safe arrivals.

Then, after a long day, they both were tired and went to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Sonorous snoring roused Tony from sleep. He rolled over and looked at Tim in the other bed, on his back, mouth open, arms flung up over his head. He shook his head. He had thought Tim would snore when Tommy wasn't there, and there it was.

Tony sat up and considered the situation. So far, he'd managed to distract Tim from probing about the reason for the timing of the trip. He wasn't sure that, today, where they wouldn't be in a rush, he could keep Tim from pushing if he thought of it again. But it wasn't foregone that Tim would think of it. They were having fun and Tony had admitted to some anxiety already. Maybe Tim would think that was it.

Besides, it wasn't really a problem and having fun was all he wanted.

Decision made, he decided to put a stop to Tim's snoring before the hotel was destroyed by the force of the sound waves. He grabbed his pillow and had a moment of wondering how long Tim would wait to get revenge for this one and then threw it at Tim.

The pillow hit him right in the face and Tim sat up very quickly, looking around blearily.

"What... did I?" Then, he woke up and looked at the pillow which was now on his lap. Then, he looked over at Tony and his eyes narrowed. "You threw a pillow at me."

"You were going to attract a moose into the room with how loud you were snoring, Probie. Maybe you have some kind of medical problem."

"Delilah has never complained about my snoring and you know she would."

"So basically, what you're saying is that you don't care about disturbing _my_ sleep, but you do care about hers."

Tim smiled a little. "Well, that fits."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. You ready for a day of Acadia?"

"As long as we get to watch the whales."

"What if you don't see any?"

"I will."

Tim yawned once and then got out of bed. As he walked by Tony toward the bathroom, he deliberately dropped Tony's pillow on the bed and did _not_ attempt to smack Tony with it. Tony grinned, knowing that Tim was just biding his time. ...and since he'd managed to bide his time for two years last time, Tony knew that he could never really anticipate when Tim would get his revenge. Tim was really good at waiting.

They both got ready quickly and then it was down for the free breakfast. Neither of them wanted to linger there when there was so much to see (they thought), so they ate and then headed out to the car.

"Where to first?" Tony asked.

"I don't know. Just a sec," Tim said. He pulled out the atlas and started to look at the options. "There are a lot of different entrances, but there's a big loop road that we can go on."

"Just so long as we get back to Bar Harbor in time for the whales," Tony said.

"When does the boat leave?"

"Around one."

"Okay. So if we start going around the loop and stopping at places, we can always go back to Bar Harbor and make sure we're there in time," Tim said.

"All right. Then, let's get going!" Tony said.

"All right. Drive south, then. We can take the Sieur de Monts entrance."

"Whatever that means, sounds great."

They set off, but they'd only been driving for about a block when Tim suddenly laughed.

"Tony, I know where we can go to get lobster tonight," he said, pointing through the windshield.

Tony looked at started laughing, too. Just ahead of them was a McDonald's and on the marquee, they could see an ad.

"Lobster rolls. Only nine dollars," Tim said, still laughing.

"Not exactly what I had in mind, Probie," Tony said, but he was entertained by the idea, too.

"Of all the places to be able to get lobster, I never thought McDonald's," Tim said. "Not in a million years."

"Well, I've heard that they sell lamb burgers in India since they can't sell beef," Tony said. "I guess they adapt to location."

"I guess."

"But we're still not eating there."

"Fine by me," Tim said, "but you still need to go south."

They passed by the McDonald's and headed out of Bar Harbor, down toward one of the many entrances to Acadia National Park. They turned off the main road and headed into the park.

"There's a place called the Wild Gardens of Acadia," Tim said. "Do you want to stop there?"

"At gardens?"

"It's the first place showing up on the map and the turnoff is coming up on the left. It's an exhibit of the park's plant communities," Tim read.

Tony thought quickly and then bypassed the turnoff.

"Nah. We can see plants everywhere. We'll come back there if we run out of places to see."

"Okay. Then, follow the road around and you'll get to the loop road. There, we only have one choice of direction."

"One way, huh. Okay. Works for me."

Tony followed the road and got to the loop and pulled on. Since it was relatively early in the morning, there was very little traffic. That would like change in the afternoon, but for now, they had the road mostly to themselves. As they neared the station where they'd have to pay, Tim looked to the side.

"There's a little loop road that goes up to an overlook," he said. "Want to check it out?"

"Sure."

Tony turned the car and they drove up the narrow road to a parking lot for Schooner Head. They both got out and followed the signs to a rocky outcropping that looked out over a small bay. They could climb all over the rocks and they could even see a lighthouse out on a small island.

"Wow. Nice view," Tony said.

"Yeah. Better than I thought, based on the road."

"Looks are deceiving, I guess. Okay. Pictures."

They took turns posing and then, they climbed around on the rocks for a few minutes, getting different angles and admiring the large house right on the coast across the bay.

"How much do you think that house cost to build?" Tony asked.

"Probably more money than I'll make in a lifetime."

"Even with your book?"

Tim laughed. "I'll bet that house is several million dollars. I never made even close to a million from _Deep Six_. Maybe if I'd kept going, but I sure don't have time now, and you forbade me from ever publishing again."

"You bought a Porsche and a whole new wardrobe. It's like you suddenly became stylish," Tony pointed out.

"Yep. And that used up a lot of the money I made. I'm not a millionaire, Tony. I promise."

"Uh-huh," Tony said, infusing doubt into his voice.

Tim just laughed again.

"Imagine that I am, if it makes you feel...worse."

Tony laughed at that. They took a couple more pictures and then returned to the car. Back down the road and into the park.

"Okay, Probie. There was a place called Thunder Hole that looked really neat. We need to stop there. Find it on the map," Tony said.

Tim took the park map and unfolded it.

"There's a beach. Want to stop there?"

"Sure, but just for a few minutes. We've seen beaches."

"But not Maine beaches."

"Beaches are beaches, unless they're black sand or rock, McGee," Tony said, didactically. "It's the water that's different."

"That sounds very deep and meaningful," Tim said.

"Don't worry. It's not."

Tim laughed and went back to the map.

"Well, Thunder Hole is the next stop after the Sandy Beach."

"Good."

They took the turnoff for the Sand Beach and walked around for a little while. Tim found a crab walking across the sand and followed it for a little while. Tony took pictures of Tim staring down at the sand. And then took more pictures when Tim crouched down by the crab and began examining it...without touching it. It was like something Tommy would do, only with less noise and more purpose.

After a moment, Tim looked up and noticed that Tony was taking pictures and he looked a little embarrassed.

"I don't know if I've ever really seen a crab just out on the beach before," he said. "It's cool."

"I was just thinking that you looked like Tommy would if he was here."

"Tommy wouldn't be able to resist touching it," Tim said, getting back to his feet.

"I'll bet you wanted to."

"Sure, but I'm an adult and I can keep my hands to myself."

"Unless you're spitting on salt and throwing it at me."

Tim grinned. "I got you good, Tony," he said. "You're just upset that I got you."

"No. I'm upset that you basically spit on me."

"I spit on the salt."

"Which you then threw _at_ me_."_

"Tony, it was years ago. You didn't notice at the time, and you've probably washed that shirt dozens of times, if you even have it anymore. Let it go."

"Don't hold it back anymore?" Tony suggested, almost singing.

"Oh, please. Do _not_ start singing that song. It was _everywhere_ when that movie came out."

Tony laughed put his arm around Tim's shoulders. "Do you want to build a snowman?" he asked, almost singing again.

Tim pushed his arm away.

"No. Please."

"Don't like Disney?"

"I don't like overplayed songs. I swear that I couldn't turn on the radio for a year after _Frozen_ came out because some version was always on."

"Well, enough of that. Let's go to Thunder Hole."

"Okay."

Back to the car and they drove just for a few minutes before getting to the parking for Thunder Hole. They parked and got out. Tim checked the map one more time.

"Is this it?" he asked.

"That's what the sign says," Tony said.

Tim looked around. "I don't see any holes, thundering or otherwise. It's just a rocky section of the shoreline."

"Well, let's take a look and see. It's got to be more than that with a name like Thunder Hole!"

"Okay."

They crossed the road and walked toward the shore. There were a few people climbing over the rocks, but then, they saw railings.

"Aha. That's got to be it," Tony said, pointing. "Let's go."

Tim followed and then, they got a look at Thunder Hole. It was a crevice where the waves had clearly eroded the rock over thousands of years, leaving behind a narrow space for the waves to come in. The ocean was much louder here than in other places they'd gone.

"Let's go down there," Tony said.

"Those rocks look wet, Tony," Tim said. "I wouldn't be surprised if the waves got pretty high in there."

"They don't look high right now."

"Yeah, but..."

Before Tim could finish, a wave suddenly seemed to explode into the crevice. The water surged up and went completely over the walkway. Then, it ebbed and was gone as if it had never been there.

"See?" Tim said.

Tony grinned.

"What's life without a little risk?"

"Much drier, in this case," Tim said.

"Come on, McGee! Let's go and get a couple of pictures. Then, we'll go back up. Just quick. And even if we get a little wet, we'll dry!"

"I'm going to regret this. I just know it," Tim said, but he allowed Tony to pull him down to where the walkway ran parallel to the hole.

"No, you won't."

They went down and Tony got Tim's picture first. Then, they switched places and Tim took his picture.

Right as another wave came in. It wasn't as high as the last one, but Tim ran up the steps and got out of the way while Tony got a pretty good splash. He wasn't soaked, but he was definitely wet. He wiped the salt out of his eyes and saw Tim grinning at him...from his safe vantage point.

"See?" he said.

"Well, you don't have any reason to regret it, and I don't regret it anyway," Tony said. "So there."

Tim laughed. "You wouldn't admit it even if you did."

"Well, while I'm drying off, let's walk around a little more."

"Okay. No pushing me into the water," Tim said. "It was your idea."

"I wouldn't do that here. It'd be dangerous and Delilah would kill me."

"Good."

They began to climb over the rocks as others were doing. The cliffs really were gorgeous and the waves seemed much more powerful here than they had at the beach. Finally, Tony decided they needed to get one of the rare photos together. Knowing that Tim didn't really care for doing the selfies, he found someone nearby and got him to take a picture of the two of them with the ocean behind.

"Thanks," Tony said. "Hey, have you done the whale watching?"

The man nodded. "Yeah. They're pretty impressive and this is a good time of the year for it. You're going?"

"Yeah. This afternoon."

"Good luck, but some of the companies will actually give you a rain check if you don't see whales on your trip. You can come back and try again anytime within the next three years."

"Cool! Sounds great. Thanks."

"Enjoy your trip."

"We will."

"Nice tip, Probie," Tony said as they continued to walk around.

"If the company you bought the tickets from does that," Tim said.

"We can check it out."

"Fine by me. Are you dry yet?" Tim asked, grinning.

"Dry, but still salty."

"Maybe we should go back to the hotel so you can change. We'll get lunch then have some time to get to the harbor," Tim suggested.

"We haven't stopped very many places along here."

"We can come back along the road this afternoon. Some of the stops probably look amazing in the evening."

Tony thought about it. That actually had some appeal. He didn't really want to be salty for the rest of the day.

"Okay. Let's do that. I'll drive the rest of the way back to Bar Harbor, and you have to drive in the evening."

"Okay."

They went back to the car and continued along the loop. No matter how tempting some of the signs were, they didn't stop, although Tim took some pictures from the car as they drove. It was really green and even when they weren't by the ocean, the views were beautiful.

Then, they went to the hotel, Tony changed quickly and they grabbed lunch from a restaurant (_not_ McDonald's). They still had over an hour before boarding began, so they went to the harbor and began to walk around, looking at the various shops, enjoying the parks.

"So... Tony, are you going to tell me why we're on this trip?" Tim asked.

Tony was taken by surprise. Tim hadn't said a word all morning and he had assumed he was free and clear.

"What do you mean?" he asked, trying to stall. "We'd planned on doing this two years ago."

"Yeah, but all through this trip, there's been something going on," Tim said. "Every time I was doing something with Tommy, I would look up and you were watching us... looking really strange. I don't know what it is, but there's something going on. At first, I thought it was just dealing with all the things with your family. You have plenty, but I don't think that's it. What's going on?"

Tony sighed. He wanted to lie, but he knew that Tim would _really_ not appreciate that. So he walked over to a bench in the park and sat down.

"What is it, Tony?"

"It's nothing big," Tony said, determined to have that be the truth.

"Then, what?"

"Well...my dad died."

As he had thought, Tim looked shocked by the news.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, I know that things were complicated between you, but... Well, when's the funeral?"

Tony sighed again. "A couple of months ago."

Tim went very still. For a second, he just stared at Tony, looking far more shocked than he had the first time.

"What?"

"He died a couple of months ago. That's when the funeral was."

"And you never said a word to me? Not one?"

"It's not a big deal, Tim."

"Not a big deal?" Tim repeated, incredulously. "Tony, your dad died! That's the last of your family. That's a big deal. Why didn't you tell me?"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't it be my choice about who I want to tell and who I don't want to tell?"

"Sure," Tim said, but there was something in his voice that warned Tony of what was coming. "So why didn't you want to tell me, then?"

Oh. Bad move. Tony knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"Tim... You've got enough on your plate to worry about my dad. He was barely my dad anyway. You didn't need to be..."

"I can't..." Tim laughed, but it wasn't because he thought it was funny. For some reason, he seemed furious. "This is so like you, Tony. I can't even..." Then, to Tony's surprise, Tim stood up and stared down at him. "You know what? You go on the whale watching by yourself. I don't feel like facing seasickness and I'm really ticked off at you at the moment."

Tony stood up quickly. "Hey, Tim. What in the world is wrong with you?"

And then, the incredulous tone was back in Tim's voice again.

"I guess I shouldn't even be surprised that you don't have a clue. Tony, if I keep talking to you right now, I'm going to say things I'll regret later. Go and watch the whales. Maybe I'll be calm enough to talk to you then. Have fun. I'll meet you on the dock when the boat gets back."

Then, Tim turned around and, again to Tony's surprise, he started to walk away. Tony ran after him and grabbed his arm.

"Tim, wait up. What's going–?"

"Tony, leave me alone," Tim said, now overtly angry. "Okay? Can you get that through your thick skull? Right now, I need to be alone, and so do you, apparently."

Tim pulled his arm away and then left. Tony stood there, unsure of what to do, watching Tim walk away. He looked after Tim and then, he looked at the dock where the boat would be boarding soon.

Then, he felt a little annoyed himself. Tim had no right to make him feel guilty for simply trying to spare him some grief. Tim had enough trouble in his life. He didn't need the addition of Tony's trouble. And it wasn't a big deal anyway!

Fine. If Tim wanted to sulk about it like a child, Tony would let him. He stalked away from the park and joined the line of people boarding the ship.

At least he could watch the whales.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Tim was fuming as he walked away from Tony. It was the same thing as kept happening over and over again. It was all about Tim's problems, Tim's emotional state, Tim's situation. Why couldn't Tony, just once, let it not be about Tim? Why couldn't he just let someone else help him out for a change? Would it kill him to admit that sometimes _he_ was the one in need of support? Why did it always have to be about what was wrong with Tim?

His angry stride took him well down the block, through the crowds of people having fun like he had been for most of the morning. He kept walking and then, suddenly, he looked to the right and noticed something else. It looked like a path going right out into the harbor...only there was no harbor.

His anger faded just a little bit as curiosity tried to take hold.

_Well, I have a couple of hours to kill,_ Tim thought to himself...which made him angry again. He started walking toward that path, wondering where it would take him.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Traveling on your own?"

Tony was startled out of his thoughts by the question.

"What?" he asked.

An older man smiled at him.

"Traveling on your own?"

"No. My friend's back on shore."

"Why isn't he here?"

"Gets seasick," Tony said. While that was true, though, he was lying.

"Too bad. It does get rough out here, but usually, if you take something like Dramamine, it really isn't too bad."

"Yeah."

"Something wrong?"

"No. Nothing."

"You know, that didn't sound very convincing."

Tony smiled. "You traveling alone?"

"Yep. They say these boats are accessible, but my Laurel just doesn't believe it when it comes to boats."

"She's in a wheelchair?"

"Mostly. She can take a few steps with a walker, but these days, mostly, she's in a chair, and she doesn't trust boats not to toss her right out."

"Too bad. It's been a pretty smooth ride so far."

The man nodded and stuck out his hand.

"I'm Laramie. You?"

"Tony," he said, shaking the offered hand.

"First time seeing the whales?"

"I hope so," Tony said, smiling. "Haven't seen anything yet."

"We aren't out very far yet. Give it some time."

Tony nodded and looked back out at the ocean.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Was this dumb of him? Well, maybe. But at the moment, Tim didn't care. He was walking out on a causeway that was leading him to an island. He didn't know how long the causeway would be there. He assumed it was based on the tides, but there were other people crossing and so he was being perversely stubborn and refusing to check on the details. He wouldn't stay long. He'd go over, take a few pictures and go back. That was all.

The longer he walked, though, the more his anger began to ebb, leaving a strange, aching sadness in its wake. It was a sadness he didn't fully understand, but he wasn't interested in probing it just yet.

_Just walk. Look around. Don't think about anything else. Just look._

He kept going.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony kept looking out through the fog that had settled in almost as soon as they'd got to the place where the whales were supposed to be. So far, no sign at all, but they could barely see ten feet around the boat, it seemed. He'd be worried about that, but he knew that they had guidance systems that would help them navigate back to shore when the time came.

But where were the whales?

The biggest problem was that, since there were no whales to distract him, Tony kept finding his mind dwelling on the falling out he'd had with Tim. There was no question that this was as mad as Tim had ever been at him. There had been times in the last few years that Tim had yelled at him about things, but that had been when Tim himself was falling apart. This wasn't about that. Tim had been genuinely angry at him.

In fact, he had seemed to feel almost betrayed.

And at the end of it all, Tony had to admit that Jo had been right. He had made a big mistake in not telling Tim. But he still didn't get why Tim would be so upset that he hadn't said anything about his dad. There was no reason to get upset. His father hadn't been much of a father. He'd barely seen him in years. There was no reason to be concerned or to grieve.

And Tony wasn't going to grieve. It didn't matter. Not at all. It just made the separation official. That was all. For all the help he'd ever been to Tony over the years, his father might as well have been dead a long time ago.

It didn't matter.

...but Tim being upset did matter. Tim had offered Tony something he hadn't had in a long time, maybe not ever, and Tony didn't want to lose that.

But he still didn't get it.

Then, a voice came over the speaker.

"_Sorry, folks, but it looks like we're not going to have any success with the whales today."_

There were audible groans of disappointment.

"_But we do have a rain-check option. Please keep your tickets and you can redeem them at a future time, over the next three years, for another chance to see the whales."_

Tony looked at the ticket in his hand. That meant that Tim's ticket would be good, too.

But Tim wasn't here, and that was sad.

No, it wasn't sad. It was just silly, Tony told himself.

Then, he looked out at the fog all around them, the complete lack of any kind of view and he felt a strange twisting in the pit of his stomach.

As he stood there alone on the deck.

He hadn't even seen the whales.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim climbed up to the top of the island and had a nice view of the harbor. He took some pictures, but right at the moment, he was pretty depressed. After all the fun they'd had, to have it all fall apart because of an argument... He sighed.

Part of him was tempted just to stay right there and hide away, but he wasn't a child and he wouldn't create a situation where he was going to have to be rescued from the island because he wouldn't act like an adult.

Still, he just couldn't understand why Tony would be that way. Why would he intentionally create a situation where he had to deal with a family tragedy all on his own? Even if his dad was basically a deadbeat (which he was), it was still family. And that was hard. Why was Tony trying to pretend it didn't matter? If he really didn't care, he wouldn't have been so affected by Tim being a dad to Tommy. Tim could see now why Tony had been bothered by seeing it. It was something he would never have.

So why in the world would he just try to pretend that he didn't care? And why would he think that he had to save Tim from some kind of nonexistent difficulty? Tim wasn't sure which part made him the more frustrated and upset: Tony hiding that from him or Tony treating him like a fragile piece of glass.

He looked at his watch. He couldn't stay here much longer, and if the tide was going to start coming in soon, he should probably make sure he didn't have to swim back to shore.

Grimacing, Tim started down toward the causeway. He could still see people walking around, so he wasn't particularly worried. The tide wouldn't instantly be high, and he couldn't see that the causeway was narrowing yet.

He stopped when he got to the shore. Instead of walking across the causeway, he started climbing over the rocks until he was relatively secluded. Then, he sat down and stared out across the harbor at the boats, up at the mountains and thought more about why he was sitting there by himself.

_Maybe Tony really doesn't want friendship. Maybe this is just his way of keeping an eye on me._

Tim wanted to scoff at the petulant thought, but at the same time, he couldn't dismiss it completely. Tim had pointed out before the fact that he had asked a lot more of Tony than Tony had ever asked of him and it couldn't just be Tony always helping Tim out of the quagmire. That wasn't friendship. That was Tony acting as protector, and Tim had needed that on occasion, but he didn't want that to be all that their friendship was...because in the end, that meant Tony wasn't doing this because he enjoyed Tim's company but because he felt Tim _needed_ his company.

The idea that Tony might feel that way was even more depressing. But if that was the case, then, Tony really did have every right to keep things from Tim. Because Tim wasn't his friend.

But could that really be what it was?

"Hey! You planning on staying here all night?"

Tim jumped, startled out of his thoughts.

"What?"

A man was standing a ways back from the rocks Tim had chosen to sit on.

"You planning on staying here all night?"

"Not really."

"Then, you'd better get moving. The tide's starting to come back in. You have time, but we'll both be lucky if we don't get our shoes soaked."

Tim looked around and realized that his musings had caused him to miss everyone walking back across the causeway. He got to his feet and started climbing back over the rocks. He was surprised that the man was waiting for him.

"Thanks," he said, when he got closer. "I wasn't paying attention to the time."

"Or the tide. You'd have been swamped sitting on that rock at high tide."

Tim smiled. "Well, that would have got my attention."

"Definitely. Let's get moving."

The two of them started across the causeway, not really running, but walking quickly. Tim noticed that the causeway was much narrower than it had been. The tide was coming in.

They started walking faster.

"We going to make it?"

The man laughed. "Of course, but if your shoes are damaged by water, they might not."

Tim looked down at his shoes. They were just slightly sturdier athletic shoes. Not quite hiking shoes, not strictly athletic shoes.

"They're fine."

"Good, because here comes the water," the man said.

Sure enough. The incoming tide went over the little bit of the causeway that remained and they slogged through water the last 100 yards.

When they were finally on dry land that would stay dry land, Tim turned to the man and put out his hand.

"Thanks," he said. "I probably wouldn't have noticed until it was too late to cross over. I'm Tim."

"Jerry. No problem. I live around here and I try to come over here every so often and make sure that the tourists who don't know the area can get off the island. Some people just try to profit off it by making them pay for rides or for towing for the stupid people who drive their cars onto the causeway and get stuck, but I'd rather just save people a little grief."

"Well, I really appreciate it. My shoes are wet, but the rest of me isn't...and I'm on the right side of the harbor."

Jerry chuckled.

"Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Probably won't...until my shoes dry."

Jerry laughed and then saluted Tim and headed off to wherever he'd come from. Tim smiled and then looked down at his shoes. They really were soaked. So were his socks. And his feet would get all white and shriveled if he didn't take them off and let his shoes start to dry. He checked his watch. The whale boat should be getting back soon. No matter how upset he was, he shouldn't make Tony go and search for him.

Decision made, Tim started back toward the park that was just across the street from the pier. He could sit on the grass there and take off his shoes and socks.

And wait for Tony to get back.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

As they headed back, the fog thinned and lifted completely, giving Tony a great view coming into the harbor. But he wasn't really happy about the view. He knew that he and Tim would have to talk and he didn't want to. Tim was sure to be angry still. The kind of anger he'd shown, it wouldn't go away.

_And it shouldn't._

The thought came out of nowhere. Tony was surprised at himself for thinking it, but it wouldn't go away once he'd thought of it. He couldn't stop himself from thinking that maybe Tim did have a right to be upset. Even if Tony himself wasn't bothered by his father's death...

_But you are._

Again, that treacherous part of his mind that was telling him things he didn't want to be true. They weren't true.

_Yes, they are._

Tony sighed. What would come of this? He'd never had Tim _really_ angry at him before. He didn't like it, but he didn't know how to fix it this time. When Tim was having trouble, he knew, more or less, what to do. Now... he just didn't have a clue.

But he couldn't just stay on the boat and avoid him. At the very least, they needed to drive back together.

But it wasn't about that. It was about the fact that he didn't want Tim mad at him. Tim had become his best friend, without either of them ever planning on it, and Tim had brought him into his own family circle long before Tony had created a family of his own. He didn't want to lose that because of a misunderstanding...or whatever it was.

He just didn't want to have to do anything to fix it. He wanted it to go away without effort.

Whether he wanted the ride to end or not, eventually, the boat came into port and everyone disembarked. He saw Laramie greeting a woman in a wheelchair. He waved and then started looking around for Tim. He didn't see him on the pier at all. Had Tim really just left? He wouldn't do that, would he?

Then, he looked across the road and he saw Tim sitting on the grass in the park. He wasn't looking at Tony. He was staring down at the ground. He didn't look all that happy himself, but at least he didn't seem irate anymore. Actually, he seemed a little depressed.

No sense in putting it off. Tony took a breath, squared his shoulders and walked across the street and over to where Tim was sitting. Tim glanced up at him but said nothing. Tony swallowed and then sat down beside him. He suddenly noticed that Tim wasn't wearing any shoes or socks. They were sitting beside him. He stared at them.

The silence lengthened out as the two of them sat there, not speaking, not looking at each other.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"So...uh... who's going to speak first?" Tony asked.

"That depends," Tim said. "Are you going to actually _say_ anything? Or are you just going to talk?"

Tony winced. Because Tim generally didn't go that route, he always forgot how piercing Tim's words could be when he wanted them to be.

And then, Tim surprised him. He sighed and idly pulled up some grass.

"But I'm sorry."

"What for?"

Tim finally looked at him. "If you don't want to really be friends, Tony, then, I don't have any right to be upset that you didn't tell me anything."

"Tim."

"No, really. You seem completely focused on me having a problem. I don't have any real problems right now, nothing for you to worry about. So if it's not that, then, it's none of my concern. I don't have any right to be upset if you don't really think of me as a friend."

"Tim, no. That's not what..."

Tim didn't let him finish. "Then, what is it, Tony? What you're doing is not friendship. It's not family. It's someone protecting a weak person who can't take care of himself. So you tell me. What is it?"

Tony could see that he'd have to talk more than he usually liked to about his own problems.

"Tim... I... I guess I just don't really know exactly what family is supposed to be like."

He glanced over and saw Tim looking at him skeptically. He took a breath and looked back at the grass, feeling uncomfortable, not wanting to get into this.

"You know... You said I was family and I loved the idea, but when it comes to the practical stuff... I grew up being used to not talking about it, since no one would be listening, not really having anything like that. What I saw on TV was what I wanted, but I didn't know how they managed to get it."

"Well, you're missing the mark so far," Tim said.

Tony grimaced. "Yeah, I'm starting to see that."

"Then, why don't you just tell me. Instead of avoiding it, just tell me now."

"You sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes."

That was all. Just the one word. Nothing else and no way Tony could try to parse his way out of it by analyzing the argument. Just one word, requiring more. Tony didn't really know how to start, but finally, with the silence lengthening, he knew he had to start somewhere.

"I should have listened to Jo in the first place," he said. "She told me I should have said something to you, that you would hate it that I didn't say anything, but I decided that it wasn't a big deal and so I didn't need to tell anyone. She only knew because we're in the same house and I couldn't exactly leave for the funeral without telling her where I was going. But it wasn't a big deal and I didn't need to saying anything to anyone else. It wasn't a big deal."

He stopped and the silence fell again. This time, Tim broke it...with a single word.

"But?"

Tony sighed as the irritatingly honest part of his brain forced the thought to the fore.

"But it is a big deal," he said, admitting it out loud for the first time. "It ticks me off that it's such a big deal, but it is."

Tim reached out and squeezed his shoulder but said nothing this time. Tony wished he would, but he didn't.

So he kept talking.

"It's not like my dad was really much of a dad at all. He was barely around. I mean... he forgot me! He left me behind in a hotel room because he wasn't enough of a dad to remember I was there," Tony said, almost angrily. "I shouldn't care that he's dead. He was so _not_ a dad that he might as well have been dead years ago. It would have made that little difference as far as his involvement in my life. It shouldn't matter."

"But it does," Tim said softly.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know... because..." Tony sat there for a bit, hoping Tim would say something that would interrupt what he was talking about.

Tim said nothing.

"...because if he had actually acted like my dad for any real length of time, it would have been enough for me. I mean, he wasn't abusive. He wasn't mean. He just wasn't a dad, but having him dead means that can't ever happen. I never got a chance to have my dad be a real dad. And that sucks."

Tim still said nothing and that goaded Tony to keep talking.

"And now, my family is dead and that sucks, too. It's not even that they're dead so much as it means that, technically, I'm an orphan. And I know that sounds stupid since I'm in my forties, but it matters."

"Yeah, it does," Tim said, his voice soft.

Tony almost didn't even notice it.

"But I've been trying to make it _not_ matter. Nothing was going to matter. Lots of people have crappy families. I wasn't going to let it bother me. I was going to set it aside and not think about it because it shouldn't matter. ...but then, every time I saw you with Tommy..." Tony smiled and looked at Tim. "...I'd see you as this amazing, wonderful dad and wonder why I couldn't have had a dad like you."

Tim actually reddened slightly at the compliment and shook his head.

"I'm far from perfect, Tony. We both know that I have more than my share of issues."

"That doesn't matter. You love Tommy and you love being around him. Even more...he loves being around you. My dad loved the next big deal."

Another silence. Well, it was silent as far as they were concerned. There were actually a lot of people walking around. In fact, this was far from as private as serious conversations usually were. However, no one really appeared to be paying attention to them. So that was something. They were just two guys sitting in a park.

...having a serious conversation that one of them at least was not enjoying.

Again, Tony felt like he had to say something more.

"And now, _I'm_ a dad...and I'm terrified that I'm going to end up being the same kind of father as my dad was...because I never got to have him give me an example of what I should do...only what I shouldn't."

"You're a good dad, Tony," Tim said. "Grace and Daniel love you, whether they say it or not. Sam will love you when he's old enough to acknowledge it. If you guys ever get Ivan, he'll love you, too. Because you care. Maybe you're not finessed, but you care and they know it. That's what matters."

Another silence, but finally Tim asked a question.

"How did he die?"

"An aneurysm, they said. He was talking one minute and the next, he was dead. Do you know what the worst part of it was?"

"What?"

"It took them two days to find me because Dad didn't have anything indicating any family. Nothing. I can't even pretend that he was just distant...unless he was distant enough to be on a different planet. It really makes me mad...and it's depressing, too."

Again, the silence.

Then, Tim shook Tony's shoulder just a little.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't start that again," Tony said, grimacing.

"No. I'm sorry that your dad died. I'm sorry that you didn't get the family you really wanted. I'm sorry that you're the only one left of your family. I'm sorry that this is all so complicated that you can't even decide whether to be angry or to be grieving. And I'm really sorry that you wouldn't let anyone know."

"Can't change any of it," Tony said, shrugging, trying to push it all to the side.

Tim shook his head. "That's not the point. As you've told me more than once, you can't change the past. But you can't get beyond the past by ignoring it or pretending it doesn't matter. It matters, Tony, and it's wrong for you to keep trying to act like it's not a big deal or that you can mention it once and that's enough. I'm not saying you have to be talking about it constantly or anything, but you don't always have to be the tough guy. And one more thing..."

"Yeah?" Tony was almost afraid to hear it.

"Stop thinking that I always need protecting. Honestly, Tony...sometimes, I can't figure out if you want to be friends or if it's some kind of obligation you feel."

"It's not."

"And I believe you, but when all you seem to think about is whether or not I can handle it, it's hard to accept it. If you need help, you need help. And help doesn't necessarily mean an imminent meltdown. I still go to a shrink regularly. It's not because I'm constantly on the verge of falling apart." Tim actually smiled. "It's preventative care, so I _don't_ have to be on the verge of falling apart. Please, Tony, let me be on equal footing. Let us be friends."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that when something in your life sucks, you let me at least _try_ to help you, even if it's just like this. Me sitting here, listening. I wasn't wanting you to tell me so I could change anything. I wanted you to tell me so you wouldn't have to deal with it alone."

Tony looked down at Tim's shoes again. "Aren't you busy enough?"

Tim laughed. "Okay, Tony. You say that you don't know what family is like? Here's lesson 101 on family: you're never too busy for family. Never. And you already know that, but you don't seem willing to apply it to yourself."

"I do?"

"Yes. You showed up when all I did was text you in the middle of the night asking you to come. I could have said more than that. I probably should have. I could have actually called you, but I knew that all I would have to do was ask and you'd be there. That's family. I can't replace the family you've lost or the family you never had, but you have a family now. It's just not one related by blood."

Tony was surprised at how much hearing those words out loud meant to him. In fact, it made his throat tighten embarrassingly. He definitely wasn't going to look up right now. He didn't cry, not ever. That wasn't what he did.

Then, Tim said something else.

"Tony, I've really appreciated having you as a friend, but I need to know that you feel the same way, that you actually like us being friends. I don't want to deal with having to wonder whether or not this is just a feeling of obligation."

"It's not," Tony said, instantly, although his voice was softer than he usually spoke. He was still a little choked up from what Tim had already said. "Maybe the first time, but not after that."

"I don't blame you for feeling obligated the first time. I don't even blame you for the fifth time."

"It wasn't obligation the fifth time."

"I'll admit that I'm more than a little skeptical about that," Tim said.

That forced Tony to look up, and he didn't know exactly what his expression was because Tim's expression changed when he saw Tony's face.

"No," Tony said. "I did it because you needed it and... it's like you said. That's what family does. If it was obligation, it was like you helping Sarah."

There was a moment of silence and then it was Tim's turn to look away.

"So...do you want to keep talking about it right now?" he asked.

"Not particularly," Tony said, smiling a little.

"Okay. How were the whales?"

"No shows. What did you do?"

"I walked over a causeway to an island and almost got stuck there when the tide came back in. My shoes and socks got soaked."

Tony laughed. "Man... we really can't be trusted alone, can we."

Tim laughed, too.

"Guess we'll just have to stick together, then."

"Guess so. Your shoes dry?"

"Probably pretty close."

"Well, it's early in the evening or late in the afternoon," Tony said. "What now?"

"Today kind of fizzled out, didn't it," Tim said. "That was my fault. Sorry."

"No, it's not. It's mine, too," Tony said. "Ultimately, it's more my fault than yours."

"Doesn't really matter. Today still fizzled. And it started off so well, too."

"Yeah."

Tony really did regret it, but he didn't know what to do to fix it, either. Not this time. He was about to say that they'd just have to come back up here another time.

...but then, Tim got that _look_ on his face. The one that said he'd thought of something.

"What's up?" he asked.

"You know, Tony..."

"Do I?"

Tim smiled a little. "You know... if we rush back down to Boston tomorrow, that will mean that my in-laws only had Tommy for one full day."

"Yeah?" Tony asked, starting to get it.

"What if we just pushed things off by a day?"

"Stay here one more day?"

"You said you got a raincheck on the whale-watching thing. I don't know if my ticket would count since I didn't get on the boat, but we could maybe see a couple other things today and then get our lobster dinner. Then, tomorrow, see other things, try again with the whales if there's space on the tour, and we could get a head start on going back to Boston. We're going on the interstate anyway going down. That'll be faster."

Tony thought about it. He liked the idea of getting a start on wiping out this rather negative afternoon by trying to recoup their lost time.

"Only one problem, Probie."

"What's that?" Tim asked.

"We'll have to tell our families."

Tim actually smiled. "After this afternoon, that ought to be pretty easy. And we don't have to take a really long time going back down, especially if we head back toward Boston tomorrow afternoon. We were never going to try and keep going tomorrow anyway."

Tony thought about it a little more, and he didn't want to leave Acadia feeling like the trip was ruined because of what he'd done...or not done.

"Okay. Let's do it. If your shoes are dry, put them on and let's get to the car. We'll see what's close enough to go and see today."

"Okay."

Tim put on his shoes and they walked back to the car.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"So where should we try to go today?" Tony asked.

Tim pulled out the map of the park and looked it over. As he did, he thought about what Tony had said, all the things he'd explained to try and justify what he'd done. If Tim was honest with himself, he wasn't quite so ready to let go of his anger, but at the same time, the last thing he wanted to do was rub Tony's face in it. Irritating or not, the thing Tony had been hiding was a death and that wasn't something Tim was willing to take advantage of. He tried to put it aside and not let himself get sucked into the anger again.

He wasn't sure they should get on the loop road again today. That would mean they'd have to retread, which they would tomorrow if they decided to do it, but they wouldn't have all that much time today to drive back over the same stuff until they started see new things and then have to stop because it was getting dark. Not worth it.

"Anything?" Tony asked after a couple of minutes.

"Lots, but figuring out what to see is the harder thing," Tim said.

"Well, why don't you give me your ticket and I'll see if we can get on the tour tomorrow while you're doing your thing."

"Okay," Tim said, absently handing over his ticket. His mind was on figuring out what to see today. Maybe it shouldn't matter so much, but after the frayed feelings this afternoon, he wanted something to make it better.

As he examined the map, his eyes were drawn to a part of the park that was fairly far removed from the rest of it. It was still on the island, but it was on the western part. He'd been surprised at how patchy the park was. Where Yellowstone was just this monolithic square in the northwest corner of Wyoming, Acadia was scattered all across Mount Desert Island in a patchwork of public and private lands. It was very different.

And down in the southwestern portion of Mount Desert Island was another patch of Acadia. The Bass Harbor Head Lighthouse and something called Ship Harbor were close to each other and also in the park, but how far from Bar Harbor? He figured it out at about 20 miles. Not bad. They could get over there in good time and see some things and then come back to Bar Harbor for dinner...or rather, for lobster, since Tony was determined to have it, and Tim could admit that they probably should while they were in Maine.

He was glad to have something in mind to suggest and see if Tony liked the idea. All that remained to do was wait and see if Tony got to do the whales again. If Tim was honest, he wasn't entirely thrilled at the prospect. Yes, he could take Dramamine and likely would, but it didn't change the fact that he got seasick. Sometimes, the pills only made it tolerable; sometimes, the nausea was completely gone. He just never knew which would be the case. Still, he figured that he could handle it for a couple of hours and let Tony see something he was excited about.

His mind now free to wander, it settled back on Tony and their argument this afternoon. Tim still felt that he was justified in being upset, but at the same time, it felt _wrong_ to be upset when Tony was likely trying to work through his desire to be indifferent and his inability to be indifferent about his dad's death. Besides that, Tony _had_ talked about what was wrong. He _had_ been willing to discuss it and that mattered.

At this moment, though, Tim wasn't sure it mattered _enough_. Tony had only been willing to discuss it when Tim had forced him to. But at the same time, it probably should. And besides all that, they were on a vacation and what had happened today should be it...at least for now.

As soon as he came to that conclusion, Tony got back, looking triumphant. ...which meant that Tim would have to get on a boat tomorrow.

"We got on the tour tomorrow! They said there were some last-minute cancellations. We must be living right," Tony said.

"Or I'm living wrong," Tim muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Do you not want to go?" Tony asked.

"I'm just not sure about the seasickness, but I'll take some dramamine and it'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Tony asked, looking concerned.

"As long as you're driving after we get back. Sometimes, the dramamine leaves me feeling a little drowsy."

"I think I can handle that."

"Good. Then, it's fine."

"So, any ideas for today?"

"Yeah. There's a lighthouse over on the other side of the island, and something called the Ship Harbor. They're pretty close to each other, and it's only about a 20-mile drive to that part if we go directly there. We should be able to go over there and then come back to have our lobster."

"Sounds good to me," Tony said. "I'll even drive. You navigate."

"Okay."

Tim gave Tony directions to get to the southwest corner of Mount Desert Island. It only took about half an hour to get there and then, they were approaching another lighthouse. Supposedly. They couldn't actually see it on approach, but there was a parking lot and that was encouraging.

"So someone apparently owns the lighthouse. We can't go inside."

"Figures," Tony said.

"Well, you know, if it's actually functioning, then, we'd just be in the way," Tim said.

"Yeah, okay."

"But there's supposed to be some really great views of the lighthouse and we can walk around the area."

"Sounds good...enough," Tony said and smiled.

Tim rolled his eyes a little, but he smiled, too.

They parked and got out. There were quite a few people around at this time of the day, but it was early enough in the summer that it wasn't completely crowded. Together, they walked around the grounds of the lighthouse, but then, they saw the trail that was supposed to lead them to a great viewpoint. So they followed the path down some rough stairs and then they got to scrabble across some granite rocks to get to a good vantage point. The lighthouse was above them on a cliff and they were seeing it from behind. However, the view was really amazing with the rocky cliff and the trees around it.

"This is really cool," Tim said, taking some pictures that would probably end up looking like hundreds of others taken on these very same rocks.

"Can you imagine living here and having people take pictures of your house all the time?" Tony said.

Tim laughed. "I'm sure they knew what they were getting into by living there. There's a parking lot!"

"True. I can't believe that they wouldn't have known."

They both took turns posing and then, they climbed back up to the parking lot, got into the car and headed for the Ship Harbor.

"So what's this one?" Tony asked.

"There's a trail that goes to the coast through the forest. It's about a mile, and there are tidal pools and rocks and stuff like that. Just another scenic place."

"Scenic and ocean-y," Tony said. "Works for me."

When they got to the right spot, there was a place to park, but they had to go onto the other side of the road from where the actual parking stalls were. They were all full. However, they didn't have to walk far to get to the trail head.

"Looks like we can go two different directions," Tony said.

"Let's stick with the one that goes by the water. Trees are trees," Tim said.

"Can't you see the forest for the trees, Probie?"

Tim groaned at the terrible pun and shoved Tony forward toward the right fork.

"Just go, Tony," he said.

Tony laughed and started walking. They wound through the trees, with the forest on one side and the narrow harbor on the other. Since it was headed toward high tide, there was water in the harbor, but it looked like this could be a place that dried up during low tide. They kept walking until they got to the end of the trail where it dumped them out onto more granite outcroppings. They had passed a few people on the trail, but there were plenty of places to explore at the end of the trail and so, even with other tourists around, they were far from crowded. They climbed around and took pictures. The tidal pools were mostly filled and covered as the ocean levels headed for high tide. Still, the views were great.

However, Tim had to admit that, even with the interesting views, his mind was still at least half on their conversation from earlier. Tony had been eager to set it all aside as soon as Tim had let him. He didn't really blame Tony for that, but it was kind of like when Tony had come back from looking for Ziva. He didn't want to talk about it and he avoided it as much as he could. It was a little disappointing, really, that he was still not opening himself up...especially after all the times he had told Tim how important doing that was. ...but Tim lacked confidence that he could really do any good.

"Tim?"

He had let Tony talk...or rather forced him to talk, but he didn't know what to do about it once the conversation had happened.

"Tim."

That was why he'd let Tony stop talking about it. While Tony had always seemed to know what to do, Tim never did.

"Tim? You in there?"

A hand grabbed his arm and Tim jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He almost lost his balance, but the hand was giving him the stability he needed. He looked over and saw Tony looking at him with concern.

"Sorry, Tony. I was thinking. Did you say something?"

"You must have been thinking pretty hard. I said your name three times," Tony said. "What were you thinking about?"

Tim knew that Tony wouldn't really want to hear his private musings, so he just shrugged.

"Nothing much. You want to take any more pictures here?"

"What was the nothing much?"

Tim raised an eyebrow. "Nothing serious, Tony. Don't worry so much, okay?"

As he had thought, Tony backed off.

"Okay, okay. Ready to head back?"

"We'd probably better. Otherwise, we'll be too late to get lobster," Tim said, smiling.

"Never too late for lobster," Tony said.

"Yeah. McDonalds is open all night long," Tim said, his smile widening to a genuine grin.

"We're _not_ getting lobster at McDonalds," Tony said. "No way."

"I'm just saying..."

"Don't say. We're getting real lobster."

"Then, let's go."

They climbed back over the pink granite rocks, back to the trail and headed along the path to the car again. They made pretty good time since they didn't stop to take more pictures. Tim drove them back to Bar Harbor while Tony looked for the place where they'd get their lobster.

"Aha! I found the place, Tim."

"Where?"

"It's called Geddy's. It's back near the pier where we were earlier, and I know what we should get."

"Don't I get to decide my order?" Tim asked.

"Of course, but you want to get lobster, and they have a great meal option. It comes with clam chowder, a whole lobster, corn and blueberry pie! How can you get better than that?"

"How much is it?" Tim asked.

"Market value. So I guess it depends on what lobster costs right now."

"So it's going to be pricy."

"Probably, but it's worth it once."

"It had better be. People talk up lobster a lot, but I don't know if it's really worth it."

"It used to be what the poor people ate. Then, rich people realized what they were missing and the price went up."

Tim laughed. "That's crazy enough to be true."

"It's true. Scout's honor."

"You're not a Scout."

"I could be."

"You're not."

"Well, you okay with the place?"

"Yeah. Do we need reservations?"

"Nope. They don't take reservations unless the group is big."

"So we might have a long wait."

"We might, but what else are we going to do tonight."

"True."

They got back to Bar Harbor and it took a bit of maneuvering but Tim managed to find a place to park. Then, they walked back to the restaurant and had to wait for twenty minutes before they got a table. Tim got a menu and looked at it, but he had to admit that, if they were here to eat lobster, he might as well get lobster. No matter the cost, he would go along with Tony's suggestion. They ordered, enjoyed their clam chowder and then, it was time to actually eat the lobster.

"I don't know what to do with this," Tim admitted. "I've never had a whole lobster before."

Tony grinned.

"Claws first. Twist them and rip them off."

"Sounds violent," Tim said.

Tony just grinned again and demonstrated his lobster technique. Tim grimaced slightly but then followed suit. Then, he again copied Tony as Tony got the lobster pick and pulled the meat out of the claws. Finally, Tim could try real Maine lobster. He could feel Tony watching him, waiting for his reaction. He paused before putting the meat in his mouth.

"Tony, you're making me nervous," he said.

"Just eat the lobster and tell me what you think."

Tim took a bite.

And it was good. Maybe it was just that he now had years of worrying about supporting his family, but Tim wasn't sure it was good enough to warrant the high price, although in Maine, at least, it was cheaper than other places.

"Well?"

"It's good."

"That's it?"

"I said it's good! What's wrong with that?"

"It's not...stupendous?" Tony asked.

Tim laughed at Tony's choice of words. "Tony, I like the lobster. I probably wouldn't order it regularly, but it's good."

Tony gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Let's just say that I'm not a fancy-food person. I take it you like it."

"It's great. Way better than when you get it further inland. I remember the first time I..." Then, he stopped and stared down at his plate.

"What? Tony, what's wrong?"

Tony grimaced and looked up. "The first time I had lobster was when my dad dragged me with him someplace and needed me out of the way while he was making another deal. The waiter cracked it for me because I couldn't figure out how to do it and he..." Here, Tony actually smiled. "...he saw me playing with my lobster like a toy."

Tim laughed, even while he was surprised at Tony's initial reaction. It was clear that he was still really bothered about his dad.

"I might have done that this time, if I was alone," Tim said.

"Ha. No, you wouldn't."

They finished eating the claw meat.

"Now what?"

"The tail. You have to rip it off and then, you need to make sure you don't eat the green stuff."

"Why? What is it?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"I know I'm eating lobster innards, Tony. I think I can handle it."

"It's the liver, but the lobster liver usually has pretty high levels of mercury and other gross stuff, so even though it's sometimes considered a delicacy, I'd recommend not eating it."

"Gotcha." Tim, again, copied Tony and tore off the tail and then scraped away the green stuff.

Tim basically did whatever Tony did with the lobster until they had even sucked the meat out of the legs.

It was good.

Finally, they finished off the meal with blueberry pie. Tony said they had to get it with ice cream and Tim agreed with that one. They were both stuffed by the time they finished eating everything, but it had been a good lobster experience.

"How was your meal?" the waiter asked.

"It's ruined me for ever eating lobster again," Tony said.

"It was good," Tim said.

As the waiter left, Tony grabbed the check.

"This was my thing, so I've got this one, Tim," Tony said.

"Are you sure? We could split it."

"Nope. I've got it."

"Far be it from me to stop _you_ from willingly picking up the check for a meal."

"Hey! I pay all the time!"

"For yourself, maybe."

Tony stuck out his tongue and then pulled out his wallet. They paid and then drove back to the hotel, got ready for bed. Tony fell asleep pretty quickly after the very full day. He had sent a quick text to Jo and then lay down. Tim felt he should call home, but he didn't want to disturb Tony so he went into the bathroom and closed the door.

"_Tim, it's pretty late. I had decided you weren't going to call,"_ Delilah said. _"How's it going?"_

Tim debated whether or not to tell Delilah what had happened, but he didn't want to get into details right now when he hadn't decided if he was over it or not.

"_Tim, those long pauses make me nervous."_

Tim smiled. "I'm fine. No physical damage."

"_Was there some other kind then?"_

"Well, kind of. Only temporary, I think."

"_Meaning?"_

"Meaning that I don't want to get into details over the phone. I'll tell you when we get back. But Tony's dad died. Two months ago."

"_What?! And he never told you?"_

"Not until today."

Now, it was Delilah's turn to be silent.

"_I see. But everything is okay?"_

"Yeah. I promise that I'll tell you everything when I get home. Have you talked to Tommy?"

Delilah laughed. _"I've listened to Tommy. I barely got to do anything more than say hello before he was telling me about all the cool things my parents are doing for him."_

"I hope they're not spoiling him too much."

"_Nope. Just enough according to my mother."_

"Right. Are you okay with us delaying by a day?"

"_Of course. There's no real rush. Tommy is still living the high life and he'll be excited to see you again anyway."_

"Good. We just need to...work things out. I hope."

"_You're really mad, Tim."_

"I was. Not as much now, but I'm hoping for something better tomorrow and I didn't want to leave Acadia with us not on the same page still."

"_I get it. You tell me everything when you get back and remember that you're out there to have fun."_

"I know. I love you."

"_Love you, too."_

They said their good-byes and then Tim hung up and went to bed. He was tired, but it did take a little longer to fall asleep.

Finally, though, he drifted off, wondering what the next day would bring.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Tony woke up early after a restless night. He hadn't been happy that Tim had made him talk about his dad, but he had sensed something more going on. Tim had said they could be finished with it, but Tony felt as though Tim wasn't really happy about that. Tony had to admit that Tim had let him off pretty easy, but maybe he really hadn't at all. Maybe he was hoping that Tony would do more...but Tony didn't want to, and he felt like he had the right to say that it was enough.

_Would you let Tim say it was enough?_

That treacherously honest part of his mind was really annoying. But it wasn't the same. Tim's problems had been really serious, possibly even life-threatening if he hadn't got them in hand. This wasn't like that at all.

But at the same time, Tony could see Tim thinking that way. Maybe it would be best just to tell Tim that it wasn't that serious, that this would pass and everything would be fine, even if it wasn't right at that moment. Then, that little bit of tension he had been able to sense all day yesterday would be gone and they could just have a good time instead of dealing with issues.

The more he thought about it, the better it seemed as an idea. Just explain that this wasn't going to be a lingering problem. It wasn't an issue. It was just a little hiccup and Tim didn't need to worry about it.

Decision made, Tony got out of bed and went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. When he came out, Tim was sitting up.

"You're up early," Tim said.

"Yeah. Can't waste time."

Tim raised an eyebrow in a silent question. Tony took the opening.

"Tim, this isn't as serious as you're making it out to be. Even if I'm not fine right at this moment, it's not long-term. It's really not an issue."

Then, for almost the first time, Tim looked at Tony with a different expression, and Tony knew what it was.

Disappointment.

"You're clearly holding something back, Tim," Tony said. "What is it?"

"You don't want to know," Tim said, bluntly, and got out of bed. He grabbed his stuff and went into the bathroom, closing the door just a bit more firmly than he needed to.

Tony sat there, a little nonplussed. What was that about? He waited until Tim came out of the bathroom.

"Tim."

"Tony, just drop it," Tim said as he put on his socks.

"No. This is something that's apparently really bothering you. Say it."

"I told you. You don't want to hear it and we don't need to have another fight about it."

"Tim, say it," Tony said.

Tim looked at him, dropped his shoes back onto the floor and shook his head in disbelief.

"Okay, fine. Tony, when are you going to pull your head out of your butt and face reality?"

"What? What reality don't you think I'm facing? I'm not pretending my dad isn't dead. I'm not pretending he was better than he was, either."

"The reality that this _is_ a big deal. The reality that this _is_ an issue. The reality that this probably _will_ be long-term for you. That reality. The reality that puts you in the same category as me. The reality that says that when crappy things happen you have to deal with them. You can't just pretend that they aren't there. You can't ignore them and hope they'll go away. You can't drink enough to make them disappear."

"Whoa! I have _not_ got drunk in years," Tony said, angrily. "I wouldn't do that to Jo or to my kids."

"Good," Tim said, sounding less than impressed. "That doesn't negate the rest of what I said. I know the techniques for changing the subject, Tony. I'm better at it than you are. No, you aren't on the verge of falling apart like I have been far too often, but that doesn't mean it's not a big deal, that it's not an issue, that you won't be dealing with this for more than a couple of months. And now, without me even asking anything more, you're trying to force me to agree with you, to agree with your approach, with your attempt to sweep all this under the carpet and pretend that everything is all hunky-dory. Well, guess what. I don't agree. You're wrong, Tony. Your dad is dead and you hate it. You may even hate that you hate it, but you do. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter that he was a deadbeat. It doesn't matter that they couldn't find you when he died. None of that matters! What matters is that your dad is dead. You can't have that fantasy _Leave It to Beaver_ family. It's gone. So instead of trying to force yourself not to care, let yourself care! Stop acting like all that matters is what your dad was actually like. It doesn't because you're just as human as I am, and that means you do stupid things, think stupid things and react emotionally to things that you shouldn't. If your dad didn't matter to you at all, you wouldn't get choked up when talking about the first time you ate lobster."

"I didn't get choked up," Tony said, but it was a feeble protest. He wasn't sure he'd ever heard Tim this angry and this eloquent...maybe ever.

Suddenly, Tim's tone changed and he was quieter.

"Maybe, if you could just let yourself face all that head-on, you'd see what you actually do have...or what you _could_ have if you'd only accept it."

"And what's that?"

"A real family," Tim said simply. "It's not fantasy because no one gets the fantasy. I didn't. Tommy hasn't. You definitely didn't. But it's real. It's not on TV. It's hard. Nothing gets resolved in an hour...forty-five minutes with commercials. But it's real. And, Tony, the more you push it away...the farther away it will be...and the bigger the risk that it will be _too_ far away."

They were standing there, staring at each other, and suddenly, what Tim was saying really hit Tony. It hit him right between the eyes. He'd always suspected that part of the reason for his dad's distance was because he didn't want to deal with picking up the pieces after Tony's mom had died. It didn't excuse anything, but it was easier to go on when you didn't have to care.

And what was Tony doing? Following that same path, or at least, the potential was there to follow that same path, to ignore the stuff that hurt. Maybe Jo could see that. Maybe not. But really, it wasn't even just about Jo, either.

It was about the family that Tim had offered him years before. It was about the fact that Tony knew that, no matter what else, he didn't want to lose that family. He didn't want to lose any part of that family. He didn't want to lose Jo. He didn't want to lose Sam. He didn't want to lose Grace and Daniel. ...and he didn't want to lose Tim and Delilah and their kids.

And here was Tim warning him that he could lose all that if he kept up what he was doing.

Tony sank down onto the bed and leaned over, with his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the floor.

He saw Tim sit down across from him.

"If you don't care about losing all that, then, by all means, do what you want," Tim said.

Tony started to protest, but Tim wasn't done.

"But I think you do care about losing it, and even if you don't, _I_ care about you losing all that. Then, where are you? Where Gibbs is."

Tony's head jerked up at the mention of Gibbs. Tim almost didn't even say his name, even now, but he had.

"What does this have to do with Gibbs?" Tony asked, although he knew.

"Gibbs is alone...not because he has to be, but because he chose it. I'm not even talking about...that day," Tim said and took a deep breath, a clear sign that he was remembering it. "I'm talking about the fact that he admitted he was afraid of reaching out, of opening up, and that even with the admission, he hasn't really changed." Now, Tim's expression twisted a little bit. It was almost a smile, but it was pained. "I know what pain can drive you to, Tony. I've been down that road and I needed people to drag me back, kicking and screaming. You're not moving down that road as fast as I was, but you're still going that direction...and you need to stop before it's too late, before you lose everything you've said you want."

"Do you really think that I'd go that far?" Tony asked, dreading the answer.

Tim shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not, but I care enough not to wait and see."

Tony smiled a little at that, even as it hurt a little that Tim saw it as a possibility...even though he knew that it was. He looked back at the floor.

"You're pretty eloquent when you want to be, Probie. You know that?"

"Well, I had over two hours of fuming to do yesterday, Tony. I used my time."

Tony was quiet for a few moments. Then, he took a breath.

"You know what bothered me most about yesterday?"

"What?"

"The possibility that I could have pushed you too far and lost my family again. I really didn't want that, Tim," Tony said, not really daring to look up and see what Tim made of it. "Not seeing the whales just seemed like a statement that I didn't deserve to see them because I'd pushed you too far. And I know that's dumb, but I couldn't help but think it. Just a little bit."

Tim stood up and then sat down again beside Tony and squeezed his shoulder like he had the day before.

"Family lesson 102: There is no _too far _with family, but you don't want to push and find out if it's really true."

Tony laughed. "What?"

"Exactly what I said. Maybe there really is a _too far_, but you don't want to find out...because it's family you're pushing."

"You making these up as you go along?"

There was a long pause and Tony looked over to see Tim smiling.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he said. Then, he sobered. "Tony, really. Like I said yesterday, I'm not asking you to start bawling your eyes out or anything. I'm not saying you have to wander around in a fog of grief that you don't feel. Just stop trying to pretend that none of it matters because if you do, it might actually end up being true...and that's not good for anyone."

"So...was I too far?" Tony asked.

"Not yet," Tim said, smiling slightly. Then, he patted Tony's knee, almost paternally, and stood up. He walked back to his bed and sat down to put on his shoes.

"Tim?" Tony said after watching him for a few seconds.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Tim looked up from his shoes.

"I don't have a clue what I'm doing, Tony," he said. "I'm not like you and always know the right way to respond to a situation. I fumble my way through and hope I don't do any damage along the way."

"Tim, I don't always know what to do, either. And if I seem like I do, it's because I called Ducky and asked for help first."

Tim smiled at that.

"I'm serious, though, Tim. Thanks. I didn't like hearing it, but I probably needed to."

"Whatever it takes," Tim said.

Tony nodded. Then, he tentatively tried to move on.

"So...where are we going to go today?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

With another tentative peacemaking, Tim allowed the subject to fall to the side again, but he felt that it was better this time than the last time. For one thing, he'd managed to express himself clearly. For another, Tony seemed to have listened to him.

He picked up the map of Acadia and looked at it again.

"You know, Tony, if we went onto the left side of the loop, it's actually two-way."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What is there to see over there?" Tony asked.

"Cadillac Mountain."

"Named after the car?"

Tim smiled. "I doubt it."

"Always pouring cold water on my ideas."

"Well, come up with better ones, then," Tim said.

"Ouch. That was a zinger," Tony said, miming fatal injury.

"I try," Tim said and went back to looking at the map.

"Anything else?"

"Jordan Pond."

"Isn't that where Walt Whitman went?"

Tim looked up.

"I don't think so."

"There was a book or something," Tony said. "I remember having to read some of it in school."

"A book?"

"_On Jordan Pond?"_

Tim laughed. "Walden Pond. And I _think_ that's Thoreau, not Whitman, but I'm not sure about that."

"But you're sure it's Walden?"

"Yeah."

Tony pulled out his phone and did a search.

"Yeah. You're right. Walden and Thoreau." Then, Tony smacked his forehead. "I should have known that! It's this running theme in _Dead Poets Society_! 'I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. ...drink deep and suck out all the marrow of life.'"

"That has Robin Williams in it, right?" Tim guessed.

"Of course."

Tim was inwardly relieved that he had remembered that much. He didn't want Tony forcing him to sit down and watch it. He didn't know if he'd actually seen it or just remembered when the movie came out.

"So what's Jordan Pond, then?"

"Please don't ask if it's named after Michael Jordan," Tim said.

Tony grinned but didn't say anything...for the moment.

"It's a glacial pond and it can be as much as 150 feet deep. No swimming allowed to protect it."

"Yeah. Humans can be pretty nasty in bodies of water. They want to add their own," Tony said.

"Yuck."

"Hey, not me!"

Tim raised an eyebrow. "You did seem to be speaking from experience."

"You want another pillow to the face, McGee?" Tony asked, raising one threateningly.

"I'm just saying."

"Well, don't."

"Fine, fine. Anyway, it's further south than Cadillac Mountain, but it's on the same side." Then, Tim raised an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me. That will let us get back here in time. Are you sure you want to go and see the whales?" Tony asked.

"Yes," Tim said, although he was fudging it a little bit. He did want to see whales, but he didn't want to have to be on a boat to do it.

"No, I'm serious, Tim," Tony said. "I know you get seasick, and I know you can take the dramamine for it and everything, but... is this really something you want to do? You don't have to do it just for me. I'll survive."

Tim smiled. "Tony, I want to see the whales. I don't want to be seasick, but I want to see the whales. It's worth it, even if I'm a little unsettled. Like I said, you'll just have to do the driving later on."

"Then, you'd better drive to start," Tony said.

"I think I can handle that. Ready to get breakfast?"

"Yeah."

They grabbed their stuff and headed down to get their breakfast. They didn't linger, wanting to make sure they had the time to see a few things before trying out the whales again.

Tim drove them over and down to Jordan Pond. When they got there, they saw that there was actually a restaurant there.

"Shucks. We could have had breakfast here," Tony said.

"It was free at the hotel and it looks like there are a lot of people in there," Tim said. "We can just enjoy the pond, but it looks like there's a gift shop."

"Oooh," Tony said, looking eager.

"Pond first," Tim said. "Then, we can buy knickknacks."

"Yes, sir," Tony said, saluting.

Tim rolled his eyes and then found a place to park in the north lot. They got out of the car and headed straight for the pond. As they got closer, they saw the pond stretch out in front of them, with two hills visible across the lake. There was a trail that curved off to both sides, but it was the view ahead of them that was the most impressive. The pond wasn't particularly wide, but it was long and with the trees growing all around, the two mountains stick up at the north end of the lake were especially impressive.

"Wow," Tony said. "That's a great view. No swimming?"

"No swimming. No wading, even."

"Shucks. Well, we can get pictures, at least. Pose, Probie."

Tim did as instructed and then they switched and Tony got a picture taken by Tim. They considered walking on the trail around the lake, but when they investigated how long it was, they had second thoughts.

"Three miles is a long way," Tony said.

"It does say it's flat and family friendly," Tim said.

"Yeah, but who knows how distracted we'll get," Tony said. "If it wasn't for the whales, I'd be all for it, but I don't want to miss the boat."

Tim thought about it for a few seconds and then nodded.

"I agree. So...what is it with you and the whales? Why are you so fixated on it?"

Tony grinned. "I really don't know," he admitted. "And I'm being honest, Tim. I have no idea. I just got it in my head that seeing the whales is what you do up here and... so that's what I want to do."

Tim found it interesting that Tony had these ideas about what was right and what things were supposed to be like. He tried to follow along with what he'd decided. It was like Mount Rushmore and Wall Drug. They were places families were _supposed_ to go and so he wanted to go. He wasn't sure where these ideas had come from, but Tony sure held onto them way more than Tim would have expected.

"Well, I guess we can't be late for that. Let's just walk a little ways down the trail and see if there's a better view. Then, we can come back and look at the gift shop."

"Sounds good."

They walked about half a mile down the trail, taking pictures all the way. It was early enough in the morning that they didn't see many people around. It was quiet and peaceful, and Tim could admit that he liked that after all the chaos of the last couple of days. There were no waves, no water crashing against the rocks, no big crowds. Just quiet. The water rippled and lapped against the rocks and when they weren't talking, it was very quiet.

They stopped at one point and Tim was just staring out across the water, thinking about which type of water most accurately described his life.

...and it wasn't the pond.

"Tim? You okay?"

Tim blinked and looked at Tony.

"What?"

"You all right? You zoned out again."

"Oh. Yeah. I was just thinking how nice it is that it's so quiet here," Tim said. "I'm sure it will be busier later, but right now, it's just quiet and calm. Tranquil. That's the word I'd use."

"Of course you would," Tony said. "You don't get much quiet?"

Tim laughed at that. "Nope. My life is not quiet right now. Not at home. Not at work. Maybe for a few hours during the night if I'm lucky."

"Not easy yet?"

"No, but I don't expect it to be anymore," Tim said. "You were right. I picked something hard and I can't expect it to be something other than what it is."

Tim looked over and saw concern on Tony's face. He still hated seeing that expression. He forced a smile.

"Tony, it's life. That's the way things are. And there's no part of my life that I'd cut out to make things easier."

"Not one?" Tony asked, dubiously.

Tim raised an eyebrow and then started back along the trail without answering. They both knew that Tim had parts of his past he hated. Tony knew Tim wasn't talking about that, so Tim decided not to answer. He just walked away from the quiet view, feeling a little bit of the turmoil that so defined his life right now...and he didn't see any sign of that changing.

"Hey, Tim, wait up."

Tim stopped but didn't turn around as he heard Tony come up beside him.

"Hey, what is it? You've been on edge all during this trip and it's not just me being too concerned. Are you not okay?"

Tim smiled, but he looked out at the pond, not at Tony.

"I'm okay, Tony. I'm just tired sometimes. And the best way to get over that tiredness is to escape from the things that are the hardest to deal with, just for a while. The problem is that when people notice it, their reaction is to bring me back to the hardest things when all I really want is to get away from them. To take a breath, have a little break."

He felt Tony's arm around his shoulders.

"That's what this vacation is for me. I just want a break. I don't want to have to talk about... Gibbs or any of the struggles I still have or whether or not I'm still mad or anything like that. I just want a break from that because those things are a part of my life all the time. I need to get away from them sometimes. It's not permanent. I know that, but it can be there for a moment. Just a little while... because I just get so tired sometimes."

"Does Delilah know?"

"Yeah." Tim took a breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah, she knows."

"And?"

"And she helps as she can, but..." And here Tim did feel like smiling. "...but sometimes, my kids just want to have me around. Not always, but sometimes. And when those times come, I need to be there, tired or not. But I really am fine. Most of the time."

"I'm sorry," Tony said. "And don't you dare quote Gibbs."

Tim forced a laugh, knowing that the statement was nearly automatic for them both.

But neither of them said it.

"It's not your fault," Tim said. "I'd hoped that I could just be fine and then no one would feel the need to ask about it."

"Big time failure there, Probie."

"Yeah, I know."

Then, Tony turned Tim to face him. Tim didn't resist at all.

"You want to have fun?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

Tony grinned. "Of course. I always want to have fun. So let's try to set this stuff aside for a while and just have fun. Okay?"

"Both of us?"

"Both of us," Tony said.

"Okay. Now what?"

"The gift shop of course!"

"Of course."

Tony pretended to shove Tim down the trail as they headed back to the trailhead and then over to the gift shop. As they stepped inside, they were both impressed.

"This is a lot bigger than I was thinking," Tim said.

"Yeah. Lots of choices. Perfect."

There were postcards everywhere, mugs, t-shirts galore, thermoses, candles, matted and framed pictures, shot glasses (of course), jewelry. There were jams and jellies and maple syrup. It was a menagerie of tourist items, and Tim watched as Tony eagerly began to scan the options to see what to buy. This was another thing about Tony. He seemed to love the touristy stuff. Tim liked it but not nearly so much as Tony did.

That being said, this did seem to be a perfect place to get souvenirs of their time in Acadia. So Tim joined in as Tony began picking out things to get for his friends and family.

"What do you think of this one, Tim?" Tony asked, holding up a necklace. "I think I need to get it for Grace."

"I like it. I was thinking of getting a vase or something for Delilah's parents."

"You should buy them some maple syrup."

Tim laughed. "Why?"

"Because it's Maine!"

"So is everything else in here."

"Nope. Maple syrup, Probie. Listen to the expert."

"Expert? At what?"

"Buying souvenirs."

"Do you know what an expert is?" Tim asked.

"What?" Tony asked, sounding a little suspicious.

"A drip under pressure."

He watched as Tony's lips moved as he analyzed the pun. Then, he grinned.

"I'll take that. But I'm still right."

"Okay, okay. I'll buy some maple syrup, but I'm still going to buy something nice, too." Then, his eyes fell on some carved, wooden Christmas tree balls. "Oh, like this."

"Neat!" Tony said. "They're wood, not glass. Very cool."

"You should get one for Jo's parents. ...or do they not decorate for Christmas?"

"Are you kidding? Jo told me that her parents moved to the States right around Christmas time and they wanted to fit in, so they were happy to embrace the extravagant decorations. They're still the first to put up lights and trees and the last to take them down."

Tim grinned. "Then, this is perfect."

"I think you're right."

They both picked out a wooden Christmas decoration and then went to the counter to pay for their purchases. Then, it was off to Cadillac Mountain to get a view of the whole island from above.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Tony felt contented as they headed up Cadillac Mountain. For one thing, Tim was driving. The switchbacks weren't as bad as the ones he'd driven to Sandia Crest in New Mexico, but it was still mountain driving and he wasn't doing it. That was good. ...but even beyond that, there was just something about today that felt better than it had in a while. Tony glanced over at Tim as he drove with intense concentration. Tony didn't want to distract him because, while the fact that it was a mountain had registered, how high it might actually be had not. Right now, with Tim concentrating on the road itself, he couldn't be worried about the height. They'd been higher before, but that was also in an area that was naturally higher. This was supposed to be the highest point in the North Atlantic region.

And with the switchbacks and the narrower road and the steep incline and Tim with his focused attention, Tony knew he could be tense himself, but he wasn't. He was really feeling fine. And he had to admit that a lot of it was simply Tim not letting him do what he would naturally do. It was kind of like when he had come back from Israel, only Tim hadn't known as well what to do. This time, Tim knew what to do, in spite of the fact that he had claimed not to.

Tony felt better, and he thought it was kind of ridiculous that he did, but he had to admit that he felt better than he had before.

"How much further, Tony?" Tim asked as he got around another hairpin turn.

Tony checked the GPS on his phone.

"Almost there, Probie. Just give it another half a mile and we're there."

"Good. I'm definitely ready to be there."

"Hey, the road to Sandia Crest was way worse."

"That doesn't make this road good."

"It's paved."

"So was the other one."

"Just don't close your eyes, Probie. You're the one driving."

Tim didn't _close_ his eyes, but he came very close to _rolling_ his eyes. Then, he took a deep breath and refocused. Even as slowly as they were going, they arrived at the parking lot in just a few minutes. The lot was already filling up and they were lucky to get a spot. As they got out of the car, Tony looked around.

"You know, this really isn't a very big lot considering how popular this place is supposed to be."

Tim got out of the car and just shrugged. Then, he rolled his shoulders and seemed to be trying to relax. Tony smiled.

"Did you hear me?" he asked.

"What?" Tim asked, looking over at Tony.

Tony laughed. "I said that this parking lot isn't really very big considering how many people probably come here."

Tim looked around and nodded. "Yeah, but you know, this isn't really a very big park, at least, the main road isn't. I wonder if they'll shut it down and have it more like the Grand Canyon where you have a shuttle for most of the way."

"I'd like to see a shuttle get up this road."

Tim grinned. "I wouldn't."

Tony slapped Tim on the back.

"Okay. You ready to stand on the summit?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"No fear of falling?"

"Only if you pushed me," Tim said. "This isn't like that trail down into the Grand Canyon. We're not hovering over the edge of a cliff. Did you know that three people died in two weeks this year, by falling into the Grand Canyon?"

"Well, we were smarter than they were."

"Maybe."

Tony gave Tim a gentle shove and they headed up to the summit. It looked like there was a trail that went all the way down the mountain, but Tony was happy enough just to have driven up here, even if it mean they were contributing to the congestion. They got to the summit and followed a short loop trail around. They stopped at one point and looked out over what seemed to be the entire island.

"There's Bar Harbor," Tony said, pointing.

"Yeah."

Then, Tony noticed Tim zoning out yet again. These moments worried him more than a little, but it wasn't a flashback or anything. It was just that Tim seemed to be thinking very deeply, and when he claimed to be wanting a break from the hard stuff, these moments didn't seem to match that desire and Tony didn't like seeing it. Still, Tim also seemed a little overly-sensitive to comments on it and Tony didn't want to bring that up either, not after they had just repaired the frayed feelings from the day before.

But then, maybe this _was_ how Tim got a break. Maybe it was just him disconnecting from the world and enjoying the view with no interruptions. Certainly, he had more than enough reasons to want to escape on occasion. So instead of pushing this time, Tony just waited for Tim to come out of it on his own...as long as Tim didn't take _too_ long to do it. In fact, Tony took a picture of Tim looking out over the mountain, Bar Harbor in the background. There was something really interesting about Tim's expression. In Tony's opinion, this was a picture that could go on one of those inspirational posters. Which quality would it be?

_Perseverance._

Yes, that was the one. Tony grinned and then pulled out his phone and searched for a quote that would fit. After only a few seconds, he found it and saved it. He had no idea who Mary Anne Radmacher was, but he liked it.

_Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering I will try again tomorrow._

After a few minutes, Tim finally looked away from the view.

"Sorry. I was just looking," he said.

"That's what we're up here for," Tony said, easily.

Tim looked a little self-conscious, but Tony tried to scrutinize him without looking like he was, and Tim didn't seem distressed or shocked or anything. He had just been looking and then, he was done. Was that what it was every time? Tony wasn't sure about that, but at least, this time seemed to be just Tim enjoying what he could see.

"Any problems with the height?" Tony asked.

"Nope. No edges right by me."

"You know, Tim, your fear of heights is not very consistent."

"Yes, it is," Tim said, smiling.

"No, it's not. Here we are, at the highest point all around and you're fine. At Sandia Crest, you wouldn't go near the edge, and you stayed as far away as you could at the Grand Canyon, but you also enjoyed the overlooks. Plus, I've seen you lean over the edge of a balcony with no trouble but start freaking out over being just barely above the ground. You're not consistent!"

Tim laughed. "I am consistent when you know what the fear is."

"And?"

"And one thing is whether or not I can forget the height. Up here, even though it's high, we're not near an edge, but I had to avoid looking at the edge while I was driving up here because I knew that the steep road would freak me out if I thought about it. At the Grand Canyon, it's outside and so wide open that a single slip would be it. I couldn't forget the height. And usually, when I'm outside, not inside, that's worse. And don't bring up Willis Tower."

"Sears Tower."

"Willis Tower," Tim said again. "The whole point of that floor is for people to look down. Forgetting was impossible. I'm completely consistent."

"Uh-huh," Tony said dubiously.

Tim smiled. "Just accept that I have an irrational fear but I know it's irrational...most of the time."

"Most of the time you know?"

Tim's smile widened to a grin. "No. Most of the time it's irrational. Sometimes, it's not."

"Well, McRational, shall we?"

"You going to make me drive down, too?"

"I should, but I won't. I'll take pity on your irrational fear and let you close your eyes. Besides, there are a bunch of overlooks we passed on the way up. I want to stop at a few and get more pictures."

"Of course you do. Okay. Then, over to Bar Harbor?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, but there's one thing we have to do when we get there," Tim said.

"What's that?"

"Get a lobster roll at McDonald's."

"Probie, no! Have you learned nothing? We can't buy lobster at the Golden Arches. It's fundamentally wrong!"

"That's why we need to do it," Tim said. "I've now had real lobster. But this is a gimmick we need to try. I've never had a lobster roll, so I don't know if they'll taste like the real thing or not, but..."

"They won't."

"We don't even have to buy two. We can just buy one and split it and then get a real lunch somewhere else," Tim said, almost sounding wheedling.

"Okay. _One_ lobster roll from McDonald's, but we get a real lunch at a different place."

"Deal."

"Then, let's get back to the car and go down."

They walked back to the car and Tim took his dramamine so that he'd be ready for the boat. Then, as Tony had said, they stopped at multiple overlooks, took pictures and hopped back in the car. For Tony, this gave him a break from the downhill driving and let them have different views of the area. They took turns being in each other's photos. Finally, they were back down to the main road. Tony drove them back to Bar Harbor and, reluctantly, to McDonald's. They went through the drivethru to get the lobster roll. Then, they drove back to the pier and found a parking place so that they would be able to just walk over and get on the boat. Then, they walked to the park and sat down to share the lobster roll.

Tim split it in half and handed part of it to Tony.

"You know this isn't going to be as good as the real thing, Tim."

"I'm sure it isn't. I just want to try it," Tim said and took a bite.

Tony followed suit and also took a bite. And to his surprise, it wasn't horrible. It wasn't as good as a real lobster roll, but it really was okay.

"Well?" Tim asked. "What do you think?"

"What do _you_ think?"

"I think it's fine. I'm sure it's like fast food lobster roll, but it tasted fine. What do _you_ think?"

"It's...okay."

Tim grinned suddenly. "You _like_ it, don't you!"

"I didn't say that!"

"But if you didn't like it, you would have said so. You like it."

Tony grimaced, but then smiled. "Reluctantly."

Tim laughed. "It's okay to think it tastes all right, Tony. You're not somehow dishonoring lobster by doing it."

Tony laughed, too. "Well, it seems wrong to think McDonald's did all right by a lobster roll."

"I guess even McDonald's can do it right occasionally."

"Guess so. Now, let's go get a real lunch before we test your stomach."

"Maybe we shouldn't," Tim said.

"We'll keep it light."

"Good."

They found a small café, right by the pier which served breakfast and lunch. Initially, they both decided to go with something lighter...but then, Tony decided that Tim needed to have a real lobster roll. So they just got another lobster roll to share. The café was tiny so they got it as a bag lunch and walked back to the park. Then, they split the roll again and tried it. Tony gave Tim a _look_.

Tim just laughed. "Yes, it's better than McDonald's, Tony," he said.

"It had better be."

"It is."

They enjoyed their lunch, tossed their trash and then headed over to get on the boat.

"Well, what will you do if we don't see them again?" Tim asked.

"Hate the universe," Tony said.

"What?" Tim asked, laughing in surprise.

"Just kidding. I'll try to enjoy the view anyway. But since you're coming along this time, we'll see them," Tony said.

Tim raised an eyebrow. "I don't think the whales know about me."

"They don't," Tony agreed. "They're just whales, Probie."

The eyebrow went up further and Tony could see that Tim was trying to parse some deeper meaning.

"Come on, Tim. We don't want to disappoint the whales!"

Tony grabbed Tim by the arm and dragged him along. Tim resisted for a few steps but then Tony could see him just give up and go along. They got in line and boarded. And then, with no delays, they set out. As they headed out of the harbor, Tony looked over at Tim and tried to see if he was starting to feel seasick. However, he knew that Tim's seasickness didn't manifest instantly, and since he'd taken something to combat it, he might not show anything at all. For Tim's sake, Tony hoped so.

And he really hoped that they'd get to see the whales.

They sat inside for the first few miles, relaxing while the other passengers were wandering around. Then, Tim stood up.

"I need to get out on deck."

"Feeling sick?"

"Not yet, and maybe I can avoid it if I can get out in the open air."

"Didn't help you much on the ghost ship."

"It wasn't a ghost ship. It was stormy and rocking," Tim said. "Besides, the fog hasn't come in and we have a nice view. Might as well take advantage."

Tim walked out onto the deck and Tony followed. He had to admit that Tim was right. Apparently, a lot of the other passengers thought he was right, too. They were mostly out on deck. Tim took a deep breath and walked over to the railing rather than looking for a seat.

"Does it bother you?" Tony asked, after a moment.

"Being seasick?" Tim asked. "Well, yeah. I don't think anyone enjoys nausea."

"No, I mean... Well..." Tony thought about how to phrase this thought he'd just had. It had been percolating in his mind although mostly subconsciously during the whole trip. "...would you have gone into the Navy if you didn't get seasick? Is that what you wanted?"

Tim looked at him, but not in surprise. It was more evaluating. Tony supposed that it was a random question after all these years they'd worked together and been friends. Tim straightened and then surprised Tony a little by shaking his head.

"No. If that was all that was holding me back, I would have found a way to deal with it. I didn't want to be in the Navy. Sometimes, I felt like I _should_. Family tradition and all, but I never _wanted_ to. There was only one reason I thought about going into the military."

"What's that?"

Tim smiled. "So I could be an astronaut. It's not required, but most astronauts have been military officers. I wanted to be an astronaut. I would have dealt with any amount of seasickness if I could have."

"Why didn't you?"

"I grew up and... kind of lost that dream." Then, suddenly, Tim shared something that Tony hadn't ever even considered. "Someday, though, I want to get a really nice telescope. I've had some cheapies over the years, but I already know exactly what I'd get, and it would be expensive because I would want a good one."

"Why haven't you?"

"Well, until a few years ago, I was living in an apartment in D.C., not exactly the best place for observing _or_ for storing a telescope," Tim said. "And now, well, it seems kind of extravagant. I don't know how much time I'd even have to use it. But maybe someday. Didn't you ever have a dream like that? Being an astronaut?"

Tony looked out at the ocean and shrugged. "Not like that," he said. "My dreams were more in the superhero line. Leap tall buildings in a single bound. Fly, turn back time. That kind of stuff. ...but not from comic books. From the movies."

"Of course," Tim said, smiling.

"And like you, I grew up. And I remember when I found out what happened to George Reeves. He played Superman back in the 50s."

"What happened?"

"He died at age 45. It was ruled a suicide. He was depressed and everything, but there never was any really firm evidence. Some thought his fiancee killed him. Some thought someone else broke into the house and killed him, but he was miserable because he'd been typecast as Superman and couldn't do anything else. It was kind of depressing to find that out and I knew no one got to be superheroes anyway, so I left that stuff behind. So I never had the realistic dream."

"I'm not sure being an astronaut qualifies as realistic either."

"More than a superhero. _Some_ people get to be astronauts."

Tim smiled. "True."

Suddenly, the boat slowed and everyone began looking around. A voice came over the speakers.

"_Everyone look to the right of the boat."_

Eagerly, Tony began looking and he was glad to see Tim doing the same with just as much enthusiasm. They were all staring and it was amazing that the boat didn't tip over with all the passengers pressing to see.

For a long moment, there was nothing but ocean all around them. Then...

"Look!" Tony said, pointing.

A huge tail stuck out of the water and then slapped back down. Tony grabbed his camera and held it up, ready to take pictures.

"Was that it, you think?" Tim asked in a low voice, after a minute or so of nothing.

Then, a number of whale heads began poking out of the water. Tony started taking pictures and Tim did, too. ...and so did the other 350 passengers. People started talking to each other and pointing as other whales surfaced and then went back into the water.

Tony was entranced. He'd never seen anything like this before, and finally getting the chance to, after the disappointment from the day before, made the entire trip worth it. Something perfectly right in the midst of life's daily challenges and disappointments. It was amazing. He didn't think anything could top this experience, but then, just as he was sure they were about to start back, one whale suddenly leapt out of the water. There were wordless exclamations all around them, but Tony just inhaled in surprise. He was so amazed by it that he didn't even think to take a picture. He just watched as this humungous whale flung itself out of the water and then splashed back down. As the water calmed from the sudden display, the other passengers began clapping.

Tony looked at Tim, grinning happily, and saw Tim just lowering his own camera.

"I hope you were taking a picture of the whale and not me, Probie," Tony said.

"I did both," Tim said with a smile. "I don't know if I've ever seen you so excited, Tony. But then, I didn't see you when you proposed to Jo or when Sam was born. I think it was probably pretty similar."

Tony felt his face redden a little in embarrassment. He allowed that Tim had often shown himself to be enthralled by things, but Tony didn't usually admit to that kind of feeling. He wasn't the guy who showed that kind of innocent excitement.

"I wasn't that excited."

"Maybe not quite," Tim said. "I'll bet it was close."

The ship began to turn and there were a few sounds of disappointment as the announcement came over the speaker that they were headed back in. Still, even the disappointment was minor, just regret that they couldn't stay longer. What they had seen was amazing.

"How are you feeling, Tim?" Tony asked as the excitement died down and people began milling around the ship.

"Not bad. I'll bet the drowsiness kicks in soon, though."

"You're just trying to get out of driving."

"No, I'm making sure we don't get in an accident because I couldn't keep my eyes open."

"Is it that bad?"

"Sometimes. Not always. I never know for sure what it's going to do. And I don't take it often enough to know if there's a pattern."

"Well, thanks for doing this," Tony said.

"You could have gone without me," Tim said. "Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but you didn't need me here to see the whales. I'm sure they would have been here without me."

"It wasn't because you had to be here to see the whales, Tim," Tony said. "It's because it wouldn't have been the same without you here, too."

Tim smiled a little.

"Well... then, you're welcome," he said.

Tony grinned and they found a place to sit for the rest of the ride back into the harbor.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Once they got back to Bar Harbor, it was a matter of getting their stuff from the hotel and getting on their way down to Boston. They weren't going to make it all the way down there, but getting a start was good. Plus, they needed to have dinner now that they were on dry land and Tony insisted on a sit-down place to give Tim a chance to get settled again. Tim tried to claim that he was fine, but Tony wasn't having it, so they did, and this time, Tim begged off having lobster again. In fact, they went to a steakhouse instead. The meal was great and Tim had to admit that he was grateful for some time not moving. However, once they got into the car and started on their way, Tim's promised drowsiness manifested and he was out like a light before Tony had been driving for ten minutes. Tony smiled as Tim's head slipped back and his mouth fell open. Ah, the snoring. A road trip with Tim wouldn't be complete without some sonorous snoring.

He drove for a couple of hours, but, with the whale tour and the dinner, it was later that they started driving and he wasn't interested in pushing through the night, especially on unfamiliar roads in a place that wasn't exactly known for being urban. So when the signs began to indicate that Augusta was coming up, he was happy to stop there and just get an early start the next day.

"Tim! Wake up!"

Tim snorted once and then stopped snoring but didn't wake up.

"Tim! Probie!" He poked Tim hard in the side and Tim sat up.

"What? Where are we?" he asked.

"Almost to Augusta. I need you to find us a hotel."

"Augusta? Where's that?"

"Still in Maine, but it's getting close to nine and I don't want to drive late. We can head out first thing in the morning and still get to Boston before noon, easy."

Tim nodded and tried to wake up. He yawned a couple of times and, just when Tony thought that he was going to have to repeat himself, he pulled out his phone and started searching.

"So...drowsiness is a thing, huh," he said.

Tim yawned. "Yeah," he said. "Sorry. Boring drive for you."

"I can handle it. Hotels close to the road?"

"About twenty," Tim said. "At least in Augusta."

"And?"

"Hampton, okay?" Tim asked.

"Price?"

"A hundred," Tim said, with another yawn.

"Works for me. Get it."

"Got it," Tim said and then leaned back and closed his eyes again.

"So it doesn't do this to you every time?" Tony asked.

Tim shook his head. "Nope. Just some of the time. Actually, when I'm doing stuff all day, I don't usually get drowsy at all. It's the down time that kills me. I always sleep well overnight. Almost always. Now, you see why I didn't want to be driving."

"Yeah. We'd be dead."

Tim laughed a little...and yawned again.

"And now you know why I don't like to take it very often."

Then, he took a deep breath and brought the seat up. He shook his head, clearly trying to wake up and opened his eyes again.

"You can go back to sleep, Tim."

"Nah. Why bother when I'll just have to try to wake up again in twenty minutes? Hardly worth the effort."

Still, Tim was clearly a little dazed still as they neared Augusta. He didn't say much, but he did tell Tony when to get off for the Hampton. As Tony followed his instructions, Tim suddenly added something else.

"Maybe we could go and take a picture at the State House," he said. "We're in the capital."

"Tomorrow, Probie."

"Okay. Turn here."

Tony got off and then drove to the lot. Tim got out to go inside and check them in since it was in his name. Then, he came back out and showed Tony where to park. They got their stuff, went to their room which was clean and simple with two queen beds, and then Tony let Tim get ready for bed first. Tim lay down and seemed to be asleep in seconds.

Tony tried to follow suit, but he just couldn't. His mind had gone back to something Tim had said to him that morning, that it didn't matter what his dad had actually been like. He still was upset about his dad dying.

"_What matters is that your dad is dead. You can't have that fantasy Leave It to Beaver family. It's gone. So instead of trying to force yourself not to care, let yourself care!" _

After a couple of hours of trying to get to sleep, Tony finally gave up and sat up in bed. He looked over and Tim was motionless, not even snoring, amazingly enough. Tony smiled a little at that. Quietly, he slipped out of bed and walked over to grab his wallet. He picked it up and pulled a picture out of it. He sat down on the end of the bed with a sigh. Then, with the lights from the parking lot peeking in through the curtains, he looked at the picture. He didn't even actually remember what the occasion had been. The occasion didn't really matter. He didn't know why he had this picture, who had taken it or anything. But he knew who was in it.

Him and his dad.

He'd been really young at the time, which was why the picture existed at all. There was nothing special about it. Millions of people probably had similar pictures. The difference was that this was the only one Tony had of him with his dad. There must have been others at some point, but since he only had a few things from his mother and even fewer from his father, he didn't know if any of the others still existed. He'd found this one after his dad had died and had put it in his wallet. No one knew about it, not even Jo. He felt like an idiot for putting the picture in his wallet. It was a dumb thing to do, but he'd done it and he hadn't taken it out.

He looked at it and suddenly, a wave of intense anger swept over him and he found himself whispering at the photograph of his father, as if the man of so many years ago could hear him and somehow change what life had been like later.

"Why couldn't you have just been the bad guy? If you'd been abusive or a criminal or something like that, I could just hate you and get on with it. Why did you have be... uncaring? Why did you just have to forget I existed? Why couldn't you have rejected me instead of just not caring whether I was there or not? I'd know how to deal with that. Instead, I just waited for you to notice me. And you never did."

He swore almost silently, wanting to rip up the photo but at the same time, unable to bear the thought of ripping up this one photograph where he was actually with his father. He stared at the photo for a long time.

"Why couldn't you at least have _pretended_ you were a real father? I would've gone along with it. But you couldn't even pretend."

His throat got tight as he stared at the photograph. He thought about what Tim had said to him that morning, that he was running the risk of not caring. If only Tim had known just how much that had hurt. Tony knew he'd never have said it if he had. It was the worst accusation he could lay at his own father's feet, and while it probably didn't sound like a big deal, it was. Not caring was almost worse than any other treatment Tony could have experienced.

"I'm never going to be like you," he whispered at the photo again. "I'm never going to not care about my kids. I don't want to be anything like you. I'd rather pretend that I didn't have a father at all than have a father like you."

Then, suddenly, he started to cry. He hadn't cried one tear since he'd found out his dad was dead and he'd been determined not to. He didn't want to cry for the man who barely even claimed to be his father. He didn't want to regret he was gone. He didn't want Tim to be right that none of his dad's behaviors meant anything, that what really mattered was that he was dead.

He didn't want any of that, but he couldn't stop himself from crying now. He crumpled the photo in his hand and cried silently.

Or almost silently.

Then, out of the silence of the dark hotel room, Tony felt a weight beside him on the bed and an arm around his shoulders.

And then, a voice out of the darkness.

"It's okay, Tony."

That was all Tim said. No questions, no platitudes. Just three words.

And those three words got to him as much as all the words Tim had said earlier and Tony couldn't make himself stop crying and pretend it was a misunderstanding. He kept crying and, for once, let Tim give him the support he desperately didn't want to need.

So instead of sitting up, taking a breath and stopping everything in its tracks, he just let himself lean on Tim while he cried out of the grief he hated that he felt.

And Tim didn't say anything else. He just sat there silently. Tony didn't know whether or not he wanted Tim to speak. But really, none of the things Tim might say would change anything. Maybe Tim knew that.

After a few minutes, Tony felt like he could stop. He sat up and took the deep breath he'd wanted to take before and turned to Tim. In the darkness of the room, he couldn't see the expression on Tim's face, but he could feel the support in Tim's arm around his shoulders.

Tony felt like he had to say _something_ to diffuse the situation, but he had no idea what to say.

And with the same surprising understanding he'd shown before, Tim spoke again.

"It gets better, Tony. It sucks right now and you don't necessarily see the solution, but it'll get better. With time."

Again, Tony wasn't sure what to say. Right now, he was pretty sure that his voice would be more than a little shaky anyway. He tried to smile, but he couldn't force the expression. It didn't matter. Tim couldn't see him anyway. Instead, he held out the crumpled photo. In the small sliver of light, he saw Tim's free hand take the picture and smooth it out.

"How old were you?"

"I don't know," Tony said, keeping his voice in a whisper so the shakiness wasn't quite so obvious. "Six, maybe."

"You look happy."

"I probably was."

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too."

"Are you going to keep this or throw it away?"

"Can't throw it away yet...even though I want to. I never told anyone about it. I keep the stupid thing in my wallet."

"I know what you mean."

Another comforting squeeze. Then, Tim stood up and walked away from him for a moment. Tony was surprised that he was disappointed. He had actually liked having Tim being the one offering comfort instead of him.

But then, Tim was back. He sat back down on the bed and put his arm around Tony's shoulders again. Then, he held out a picture in the sliver of light. He saw a picture of a family. It wasn't an actual photo. It looked like it had been taken from a newspaper or something like that. It was a picture of a man and two children at a funeral.

"Why do you have that?" Tony asked.

"Because I can't throw it away yet," Tim said, repeating Tony's own words. "I never told anyone about it."

There was a silence as Tony tried to think of what to say, but then, Tim wasn't done yet.

"Sometimes, you have to keep the source of pain close to you while you figure out how to let it go. Sometimes, I can go days, even weeks without looking at this picture, but it's always there at the back of my mind. Tony, you'll be able to let it go eventually. You just need to figure out how, and you will."

Tim sounded completely confident and Tony was surprised to realize that it was comforting to know that Tim thought he would make it through.

"But if you ever need someone to be there, I will be. You call me and let me know. ...and you know that Jo would do the same if you would let her."

Tony took a breath at the thought of telling Jo about all this. It wasn't that she didn't know his dad was less-than-stellar. It was just that he'd always presented it as something that didn't bother him and whether she saw through him or not, she'd let it be the way he said it was.

Then, the picture of the grieving Jenkins family disappeared from the sliver of light. Tim stood up again and walked away. Then, he came back a moment later and sat down beside Tony again.

"You never have to deal with something alone, Tony. Never."

Tony's throat tightened again, but for a different reason this time.

"Thanks, man," he said, very softly.

"Anytime."

Another pause.

"I thought you were asleep."

Tim laughed softly. "I was, but I didn't tell you that sometimes, I'll be dead to the world for a few hours and then wide awake. I never know when it will happen. Can't predict it."

Tim didn't say anything about Tony trying to hide his grieving. He didn't say anything about resenting Tony's private tears. And Tony knew that he probably could have. He was glad Tim hadn't, but he knew that Tim would be justified if he did. Instead, they just sat there, silently, for a few more minutes, side by side. Tony was just glad that Tim was there. For once, he didn't have a clue what Tim was thinking, but he also could easily say that Tim didn't seem to need anything from him at the moment. He was offering aid not asking for it.

Then, finally, it was as if a crisis had passed, although Tony wasn't sure exactly what the crisis had been. He just felt as though he had got through something that was much worse than a stupid photo. He put his own arm around Tim's shoulders and squeezed once before standing up.

"Tim, thanks," he said again.

"You're welcome," Tim said. "You all right now?"

"Not perfect, but I'm all right."

"Good. Now, maybe we can both go to sleep."

"Maybe so."

He heard Tim walk back to bed and heard the rustle as he lay down under the covers and went seemed to be ready to try sleeping again. Tony looked down at the now-crumpled photograph. He considered what he wanted to do with it, and he knew he couldn't throw it away yet. He put it back in his wallet and then lay down in bed himself.

For a while, all was silent in the hotel room. Then, Tony heard the deep breathing that signaled Tim's slumber. And for once, it was a comforting sound.

He rolled over and was almost surprised that he was tired enough to go to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Tim opened his eyes. It wasn't light yet which meant it was still pretty early, but he was wide awake as sometimes happened when he took dramamine. He didn't know why it affected him so differently at different times, but it did. This time, he'd had the intense drowsiness, followed by the intense alertness. He rolled over and saw that Tony was still asleep and that it was not even six yet. Oh, well. That would be enough sleep.

He stared at Tony for a while, thinking about what had happened during the night. At first, when he'd heard Tony whispering, he'd been unsure what to do at all. In fact, he'd been paralyzed with worry that he'd do the wrong thing or that doing nothing would be the wrong thing or that he was misreading everything and Tony was fine. Then, when Tony had started to cry, Tim's shock that Tony would actually cry had broken through his worry and he'd simply done what he could.

Be there.

He wanted to do what he could, but Tony just wasn't the one who cried. Tim had known that Tony was upset about his dad dying, but he had to admit that he was surprised that he was upset enough to cry. He didn't begrudge him the tears at all. He just didn't know what to do about it. Had it been enough? Had he actually helped?

Tony might claim not to know what he was doing, but he sure put on a good show if he didn't. Tim felt like he was fumbling in the dark, hoping that he didn't grab hold of something deadly, and he felt like it was glaringly obvious that he had no idea what to do.

Then, he thought again about Tony's grief. Grief it had been. There was no question of that. But Tony's grief was complicated by the fact that his dad had been far from perfect. Tim had been able to see why Tony's dad had been able to charm people. He had been a schmoozer. He knew all the right things to say and do to get people to like him. It certainly had worked on both Abby and Ziva. Even Tim himself had been taken in, but at the same time, the more he was around, the less appealing he was when it became obvious that he was all style and no substance. The thing was that Tim could see some of that in Tony, in spite of Tony's obvious distaste at the comparison. Tony had that ability to be all style and no substance, but in Tony's case, it often covered what he was feeling. Perhaps it had been that way with his dad, too, but Tony had matured. Tony's dad never had. All the way to the end, it seemed.

There was a pain there, a pain that had nothing to do with his dad's death and everything to do with his life. Tim had hated to see it. He had seen some of it when he'd first got Tony to talk, but last night had been a level above that. Quietly, Tim reached over and pulled his own painful picture out of his wallet. A pain he could acknowledge but couldn't let go of. Delilah didn't know about this, and Tim knew what her reaction would be if she did: concern combined with resignation.

Tony's picture was at least related directly to himself. Tim had cut the picture out of the newspaper and hidden it in his wallet, knowing that no one would ever see it unless he got mugged.

He put the picture away again and then sat staring at Tony for a while longer, not wanting to get out of bed since he was pretty sure he'd wake Tony up and he probably needed the sleep. He did want to get going early, but he had no idea how long Tony had slept. Maybe it had still taken him a long time to fall asleep afterward. He should sleep.

Tim sat there for half an hour and then suddenly, Tony rolled over and his eyes were open. He sat up and raised an eyebrow.

"Comfy?" he asked.

Tim smiled a little. "Yeah. Are you all right?"

Tony accepted the concern surprisingly well. "Yeah. I'm all right. Thanks for being there."

"That's all I could do," Tim said, almost feeling ashamed of how little he'd done.

"That's what I needed," Tony said. "Where did you get that picture?"

Tim thought about pretending he didn't know what Tony was talking about. What had been easy to share in the dark was a lot more complicated by the light of day. He thought about trying to put the focus back on Tony where he knew it belonged and, at the same time, he knew that Tony wouldn't let him. So he just reached over and pulled it out again.

"About a year after... They had this follow-up story where they showed Admiral Jenkins and his kids and they also ran the picture from the funeral. This one," Tim said, holding it up. "It was about the family's recovery." Tim looked up. "Did you know that he remarried?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. About a year ago."

"How do _you_ know that?"

"He told me. It was a bit of a shock when he came into the office. He asked to speak with me and... what could I say?"

"Nothing," Tony said.

"Exactly. So we went into a private room and he asked how I was doing. I tried to just say as little as possible, but he kept probing. He really wanted to know. So I told him about my family and all that. He said that he was glad. He knew that I'd had a rough time and he was glad to know that I'd managed to get through it. Then, he told me that he was healing, too. In fact, he had just remarried and he wanted me to know that, while he would always miss his wife, he was beginning to heal, and his kids were doing really well, too."

"You never told me," Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

"I know. I didn't tell Delilah, either. It was one of those times when I really didn't want to talk about it, and I couldn't just mention it without having to talk about it," Tim said. Then, he took a breath. "Tony, have you thought about talking to someone about your dad?"

"No. I haven't even been talking to my wife or my best friend about it. I'm certainly not thinking about talking to a stranger about it."

"Maybe you should," Tim said. "I'm no expert, but maybe it would help you...more than I could."

Tony got a look on his face that Tim couldn't quite figure out.

"Tim, why do you keep thinking that you're not doing any good?"

"Because I never have before. Not with this kind of thing. It's always me with the problem, and I don't know what to do when it's not me. I _want_ to help, but I just don't know how. I probably botch it more than I help."

Tony turned to face Tim directly and let his feet fall to the floor with a thunk.

"Tim... As much as I hate to admit it, you're doing exactly the right thing...because you're forcing me to face all this stuff. You know me. I don't like to deal with the serious things. I don't like having the deep, meaningful discussions. I'm...shallow."

"No, you're not," Tim said. "Maybe you used to be, but you're not."

"If I'm not, it's because I can't be anymore. What I'm trying to get at here, Tim, is that you _are_ doing good. I needed someone to be there last night, even if I tried not to. I'm still really ticked at myself that I'm so upset about my dad dying when logically he wasn't around anyway, but I needed someone here. I needed someone to help me through it. You did that. Sure, I'm not perfect yet. But I'm starting to see that I can't be. I'll get there, but not yet. And part of that is thanks to you. So stop thinking you're not good enough. You are."

"Bad habit."

"You're telling me," Tony said and smiled slightly.

Tim smiled back. Then, he felt like he had to ask again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Not any better than okay, but I'm okay. And you're right about talking to Jo. I really should."

"Yeah. Actually, I can't believe she let you avoid it."

Tony's smiled widened slightly. "Actually, neither can I. Well, you can have the bathroom first. Then, we should get breakfast and get going. Any ideas about where to stop on our way down?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you where it is."

"Why not?"

Tim grinned. "Because I can't pronounce it. I'll show you later."

Then, he went into the bathroom.

They both got ready fairly quickly, packed up their stuff, ate breakfast and got on their way, with Tim in the driver's seat this time.

"How far to Boston?" Tim asked.

"On the freeway?"

"Yeah."

"If we just take I-295 straight down, it should only take us a couple of hours," Tony said. "Oh, you wanted to stop at the state capitol building!"

"I was half asleep when I said that," Tim said, feeling a little embarrassed by his own suggestion. "We don't have to."

"Yeah, we do!" Tony said. "It's not far from here, either." He looked at some info on his phone. "And I don't think we'll need to bother going inside."

"Why not?"

"Well, because it's not open until eight, and you have to go through security screening. I think we should just go and look, take a few pictures and get on our way."

"Okay. Fine by me," Tim said.

Tony gave Tim directions to the Maine State House and they parked in the free lot near the grounds. Then, they got out and walked over to the building. The grounds were lovely and green, and the State House was not huge but still interesting to look at. They took turns posing on the steps in front of the main entrance and then took their time meandering back to the car.

"How much longer do you think we'll be able to do this?" Tim asked.

"Stop at the capitol building?" Tony asked.

Tim smiled a little. "No. Go on these road trips. Neither of our lives are getting less complicated. As our kids get older, it's only going to be harder."

Tony slung an arm around Tim's shoulders.

"Then, we'll just have to be more determined to keep doing it. Our wives both think it's important and so that helps."

"Yeah. How long will we keep that up?" Tim asked.

Tony grinned. "I guess as long as we both have things that need addressing. And since we're both pretty messed up, I think that'll be forever. We'll always have a reason to go."

"Do we _need_ a reason, though? Is that the only reason you like going?" Tim asked.

Tony stopped and looked him in the eye. Tim was surprised at how serious Tony suddenly had become.

"No, Tim. We never _need_ a reason. Or at least, the only reason we need is that we're friends. That's the best reason there is and the only one we'll ever _need_. Even if there are other things going on, that's all we need."

Tim felt a surprising lump in his throat and he just smiled. Tony seemed to get it and they just started walking again. They got to the car and Tim cleared his throat quickly.

"Ready to increase the noise by a factor of twenty?"

"Only twenty?" Tony asked. "I guess you think Tommy will be worn out by his doting grandparents."

Tim laughed and put the car in gear.

"You never know."

"I think we both know that the factor will be at least a hundred."

"Maybe more."

They got on their way down. It was an easy drive and Tim was glad of it. The freeway wasn't always free. They did have to pay tolls a couple of times, but that was all right. He could handle that. As they drove, they listened to music, talked about random things and, in general, just tried to relax after some of the emotional excess of the trip. It was funny that there had been so much serious stuff on this trip when Tim had started it thinking they were finally going to have a trip that was just fun.

It was never just fun.

In a way, it was disappointing, but at the same time, wasn't that what real friendship was about? They had fun, but they were also willing to get into the serious, sometimes uncomfortable stuff when it was necessary. Tim hoped that he was right about that. He'd still enjoyed the trip, even with the stuff that had come up, and he was glad to know about what Tony was going through, even if it was hard for him to know what to do about it.

"You're getting a very serious expression on your face, Probie," Tony said after some silence. "I don't like that."

"Just thinking."

"Well, don't think so hard that you stop paying attention to the road."

"I wouldn't do that. Delilah would kill me," Tim said, smiling.

"Oh, so you don't care about what you might do to me?"

"Oh, was that what you were getting at?" Tim asked.

Tony slugged him on the shoulder, albeit lightly. Neither of them wanted Tim to be forced to jerk the wheel because of a sudden jolt.

Tim didn't know how Tony was feeling, but while a part of him regretted that their part of the trip was over, he was also missing Tommy and was glad to be getting back to him. So as they drew nearer to Boston, he was eager to get there so that they could finish the road trip with Tommy's enthusiastic questions. Tony thought it was hard to deal with, but Tim loved that Tommy was so interested in everything.

They pulled up in front of the house and parked.

Tim looked at Tony and grinned.

"You ready?"

"I guess I have to be," Tony said. "I'll let you go first to absorb the primary blast."

Tim laughed and got out of the car, then, walked quickly to the front door and knocked.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

He heard a voice from inside.

"Tommy, guess who that is!"

There was the sound of pounding feet and then the door opened.

"DADDY!" Tommy shouted and jumped up.

Tim grabbed him and swung him around in the air and then hugged him tightly.

"Hey, Tommy. Did you have a good time with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"We saw a rock and had ice cream and got on an old boat and played in the water and ate weird stuff and played on the beach and..."

Tim just laughed as Tommy proceeded to list off every single thing he'd done with equal enthusiasm for each moment.

"Tommy, take a breath," Tony said as he joined them.

"Tony!" Tommy said and jumped out of Tim's arms and hugged Tony around the knees.

Tony lifted him up and then tossed him higher in the air, Tommy squealing with delight. Tony caught him and grunted a little.

"Man, I won't be able to do that for much longer. You're getting too big, Tommy."

Tim laughed. "I could have warned you."

"But you didn't."

"I thought you could see for yourself."

"Tim, Tony, come on inside," Virginia said. "No reason to let the flies in with the door standing open."

"Sure thing," Tim said.

Tommy grabbed both of them by the hands and started pulling on them to come into the house.

"Come inside!" he said.

Tim paused and looked at Tony, silently asking if he was okay. Tony smiled and nodded.

Then, they both went into the house. Tim pulled out a t-shirt from the Jordan Pond gift shop.

"Here, Tommy."

"For me?" Tommy asked, delighted.

"Yep."

"Yea!"

He grabbed it and and took off the shirt he was wearing to put it on. It had a big red lobster on it.

"Thank you, Daddy!" he said.

"So, how was Acadia?" Virginia asked.

"It was great," Tony said, jumping in as Tommy started hanging on Tim, wanting to show him some of the things he'd made while they'd been gone. Tim was glad, but he also noticed that Tony was acting as he usually did. He didn't blame him for that. Delilah's parents were great, but still, that would be a little more personal information that Tony would likely feel comfortable with.

"Lots of people?" Michael asked.

"Oh, yeah. If you guys decide to go, you might want to go on the off season."

"Good to know. What did you see?" Virginia asked.

"Typical stuff. Thunder Hole and lots of overlooks, lighthouses. Tim had lobster for the first time."

"Oh, Tim, you'd never had lobster before? We could have remedied that. There are some good lobster places around here."

Tim smiled. "It's fine. According to Tony, no other lobster will match up to Maine lobster."

Michael chuckled. "Well, that might be true, but there's no reason we couldn't have let you try some earlier."

"It's not a big deal. Tony had to teach me how to eat a whole lobster. It's a violent process considering how refined it's supposed to be. I felt like some uncouth barbarian, ripping apart my meal. I'm surprised Tony didn't want to start gnawing meat right off the bone."

"Oh, come on," Tony said, laughing. "Besides, lobsters don't have bones."

"Oh, maybe licking out the shells then?"

Tony stuck out his tongue which made Tommy giggle.

"What else did you see?" Virginia asked.

"We saw whales," Tony said.

That caught Tommy's attention.

"What's a whale?" he asked.

"It's like a shark, only it doesn't have gills like sharks have."

"What are gills?" Tommy asked.

"Gills are little slits on the sides of fish that let them breathe underwater."

Tommy considered that.

"Whales aren't fish?"

"Nope. They're actually mammals like you and me."

"We don't have fins, Daddy!" Tommy said.

"Yeah, Dad, we don't have fins," Tony said, grinning. "What's with that?"

"There are lots of different kinds of mammals, Tommy," Tim said, ignoring Tony. "And we all need to breathe air, not water. So whales have to come up to breathe, but they can hold their breath a lot longer than we can."

"Are there other mammals that live in the water?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah. Do you remember the dolphins at the aquarium?"

Tommy nodded.

"They're mammals. So are seals and otters."

"Wow. I want to live in the water, Daddy! I can hold my breath!"

Tim laughed.

"No, Tommy, you can't. You need to have fins."

"Otters don't have fins," Tony said.

"Tony, you're not helping," Tim said.

"That's not my job. I'm the annoying, beloved uncle."

Both Virginia and Michael were just laughing.

"Tommy, remember how cold you got when we stayed the water for a long time?"

Tommy nodded.

"That's another reason you can't live in the water. You don't have enough insulation."

"What's insulation?"

"It's what keeps you warm. Whales and dolphins and seals have special insulation in their bodies that keeps them from getting cold in the water."

"Wow."

Tommy then decided he was done with that topic and he started showing Tim more of his pictures. Tim looked at them while listening to the conversation.

"We saw a few lighthouses, too. We also went to Jordan Pond."

"Oh, I remember that place," Michael said. "Their popovers are amazing."

"We didn't eat anything there, but we did get souvenirs. Show them what you got them, Tim," Tony said.

"Oh, yeah. I left it in the car. Just a sec."

Tim made Tommy stay in and he ran out to the car to grab the maple syrup and the wooden ornament. Then, he came back in.

"Tony said I had to get something from Maine," Tim said. "So here's some maple syrup. And they had a display of some really neat Christmas ornaments."

He held them out. Virginia took them both.

"The ornament is beautiful, Tim. I'll be happy to add it to our tree this year. And I wish we'd had the maple syrup this morning with our pancakes. I guess we'll just have to have pancakes tomorrow morning," she said.

"Or waffles tonight," Michael suggested.

"Maybe."

They stayed for about an hour, talking and letting Tommy talk. Then, it was time to pack up all Tommy's things and clean up the room he'd slept in so that they could get on their way.

Virginia hugged Tim before they left.

"Thanks for letting us have Tommy for a couple of days. I know you were nervous about it."

"No, I wasn't!" Tim protested.

"Tommy's your oldest and it's the first time you've done it," Virginia said. "Of course you were. By the time the girls are old enough, you'll be thrilled to have us take them. And your parents, too, of course."

Tim smiled and reddened slightly.

"Now, don't forget to call Delilah before you leave," Virginia said. "She'll think that you're intentionally avoiding her."

Tim laughed. "I'll remember this time."

"Good."

Once they got Tommy's stuff in the car, Tim sat down with Tommy on the couch so they could call Delilah and tell her. At the same time, Tony called Jo to let her know the basic schedule. They wouldn't get down to Monticello today, but they would in the morning tomorrow. The trip was almost over.

"Hey, Delilah," Tim said as soon as she answered.

"Mommy!" Tommy said.

"_Hey, you two. I take it you're at my parents' place?"_

"Yep. We're just about to roll out. We'll go a ways today and then we'll get to Monticello tomorrow morning. Tommy and I will be home by the evening," Tim said quickly before Tommy launched into his enthusiastic discussion of what he'd done.

"Mommy, I slept in your room! And we saw the ocean and we ate lots of food. I had ice cream again last night! And we..."

Delilah smiled at Tim as Tommy continued to talk. Every so often she'd insert an approving word but she barely had time to do more than that. Tim looked up at Tony who was grinning, too.

"Yeah, we'll be at Monticello tomorrow. How's Grace doing?" Tony asked. He paused. "Good. Yeah, sure." Another pause. "Hey, Grace."

Tim smiled and then refocused as Tommy was winding down.

"_Sounds like a very successful trip. You'll tell me everything tomorrow, then?" _Delilah asked more significantly.

"Yeah," Tim said.

"_Good. Drive safely and have fun on your last full day."_

"We will. I can't even pronounce the next place we're going."

"_Oh really? Now, I'm intrigued."_

"You'll see. Love you."

"Love you lots, Mommy!" Tommy said.

"_I love you both. Bye."_

They hung up and then Tim looked at Tony.

"Yeah, she sounds pretty good. I'm glad Daniel's been helping out," Tony said. "Okay. We're heading out. See you tomorrow. Bye."

He hung up.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"I'm ready," Tim said. "You ready, Tommy?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"Go and give your Grandma and Grandpa a hug and a kiss good-bye."

Tommy ran off to do just that. Then, he ran back and pulled on Tony and Tim, wanting to get going. They both laughed and waved to Virginia and Michael as they left. They got into the car, with Tony driving.

"Okay, Tim. Where are we going?"

"Get on I-90, going west," Tim said.

"That's not telling me where we're going."

"I still can't pronounce it."

"Where are you taking us?" Tony asked, suspiciously.

Tim grinned. "Just trust me, Tony. You'll like it."

Tony raised an eyebrow but then, he nodded.

"Okay. Remember that your son is here, too."

"Yep. I figure he'll like it, too. Are you ready for a surprise, Tommy?" Tim asked, looking back.

Tommy raised his arms in the air. "Yes! I love surprises, Daddy!"

"See? Tommy's feeling adventurous," Tim said. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm going, I'm going!"

They got on the road and, with Tommy's almost nonstop questions, they made good time. At least, Tim knew they made good time. Tony still had no idea where they were going. Tim wasn't sure why he wanted to come to this place so much. It was really just for the sake of the picture he'd thought of that they could take, but it was utterly silly. Completely and totally.

Finally, they were getting close. He started watching for the place to stop. Then, he saw it.

The sign.

"Pull over right here, Tony."

"Right where?"

"Right by that sign. This is it."

Tony looked at the sign and then he looked at Tim almost incredulously.

"This is why we're here?"

"Yep."

Tim grinned as he looked at the sign again. Webster, Massachusetts. Otherwise known as Lake Char-gogg-a-gogg-man-chaugg-a-gogg-chau-bun-a-gung-a-maugg.

"I can see why you couldn't tell me where we were headed, but what's so special about this...besides the name?" Tony asked.

"That's it. Just the name. Supposedly, it's the longest place name in the United States, and the name is totally made up. It's an expanded version of a possibly real Native American name, but they decided to adopt it as the real name. It's just for tourism. And I want a picture here. In fact..." Tim turned around in his seat. "Tommy, do you want to see if you're as long as this name on the sign is?"

"Yes!" Tommy said, without hesitation.

"Lake Char-gogg-a-gogg-man-chaugg-a-gogg-chau-bun-a-gung-a-maugg," Tony read, very slowly. "So you planned on having us stop here so you can see how your son measures up to the name?"

Tim grinned. "Yes. Let's go!"

They got out of the car and walked over to the sign. Then, Tim leaned over and picked up Tommy and held him over his head. Tim smiled when Tony got out his camera so that he could take a picture.

"Stiff as a board, Tommy," Tim said.

"Okay."

Tim felt Tommy stretch himself out, his arms and feet stretched as wide as possible.

"Do you have it, Tony?" Tim asked, feeling his arms shaking.

"Got it. How much longer are you going to hold him up there?"

Tim let Tommy down and let out a loud exhale.

"Whew. You're getting too big, Tommy."

"Am I bigger than the name?" Tommy asked. "Am I? Let me see, Tony!"

Tim raised an eyebrow at him.

"Please," Tommy added quickly.

Tony smiled and walked over. They all crowded around to look at the picture. At three and a half feet, Tommy wasn't anywhere close to as long as the name, but the picture was good.

"You'll have to keep growing, Tommy," Tony said.

"But I don't think I'll be able to lift you up when you are bigger than the sign."

"Daddy, lift Tony up!" Tommy said.

Tim laughed. "No, Tommy. I can't do that. No way."

"Are you saying I'm fat, Tim?" Tony asked.

"No. I'm saying I'm not even close to strong enough to do that. Tommy, you're only about 45 pounds and I couldn't hold you up for very long. Tony is a lot bigger and heavier than you are."

"Okay."

Tim thought that was really the end of it. He should have known better.

Suddenly, Tommy got that gleam in his eye that said he'd thought of something.

"Tony, _you_ lift Daddy!"

Tony grinned. "Do you think you can take a picture really fast while I do it?"

"What? No way, Tony!" Tim said. "No way are you lifting me up like that. It's not happening."

"Now, Dad, you can't disappoint Tommy."

"I can take the picture!" Tommy said.

Tony leaned over and handed his camera to Tommy and showed him where to stand and what button to push. Tim was standing there, unsure if he should start running or if Tony was really just kidding. He had to be kidding. Tim knew that he was far from overweight at this point, but he was still plenty heavy and Tony wasn't a weightlifter.

"Tony, you're not lifting me over your head."

"You think?"

"Tony! No!"

Tony cracked his knuckles and began swinging his arms forward and backward. Tim took a couple of steps back.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Stiff as a board, McGee," Tony said. "Don't mess it up. This is my chance to channel my inner Superman."

"Superman doesn't exist! We already had that conversation!"

"The world record for overhead lifts is over 6,000 pounds. You're probably barely 200. I think I've got this."

"You're going to kill both of us."

"No, I'm not. At worst, I foresee pulled muscles and some minor bruising."

"I'd rather not." Tim tried to walk away, but Tony grabbed him by the arm.

"Tommy, tell your dad to stand still and let me lift him up."

"Daddy, stand still and let Tony lift you up! I have the camera!"

Tim looked at Tony. He looked completely serious.

"You're not doing this."

"Yes, I am," Tony said. "Just stop putting it off and let me lift you over my head before someone else comes by and gets the wrong idea."

"The _wrong _idea? What's the _right_ idea?"

"That we're two goofy guys risking minor injury for a photograph. Stiff as a board, McGee. No flopping around."

Before he knew it, Tim was being hauled off the safe and secure ground and laid across Tony's shoulders. Tommy was laughing his head off and taking pictures.

"One, two, three," Tony said. "Don't you dare start wiggling."

Then, Tim tried to stay stiff as Tony actually lifted him above his head.

For about five seconds.

Then, he lost his grip and Tim felt himself starting to fall. He was no longer stiff as a board and he flopped over onto Tony's head and shoulders, causing Tony to lose his balance and they tumbled to a heap on the ground.

But Tim was gratified to note that he was still on top.

Tommy ran over.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" he asked.

Tim got off of Tony and groaned a little. Definite bruising was in his future.

"I'm okay. Tony?"

Tony got up and was in a bit worse shape. He'd scraped his hands and ripped a hole in his pants when he fell, and there was definitely blood.

"Ow."

"It was your idea," Tim said.

"Nope. It was your son's idea. I just went along with it."

"My son isn't even six years old yet."

"No excuse. Okay, Tommy. Let's see if you got the picture before I work on stopping the bleeding."

Tony didn't stand up, but Tommy was closer to that height anyway and so he just held out the camera. Tim leaned over to see as well.

"Daddy, you're longer than the name!" Tommy said excitedly.

"Well, with the name in a half-circle, I am. But we're not going to try anything else."

"No complaints from me," Tony said. "I can't believe you fell on me."

"I had farther to fall. No way was I going to let myself fall all the way to the ground from over your head."

Tony just grimaced and let Tim help him up. Then, he limped over to the car and they got out the first aid kit and patched up Tony's wounds. Tim had no blood to take care of, but he knew he'd have bruises. After all that adventure, they looked at the other pictures Tommy had taken. It looked like he had just held the button down and they had picture after picture of Tony lifting Tim up, holding Tim over his head and then the two of them collapsing onto the ground. It would be hilarious. ...later, when their wounds had healed.

"Well? Ready to look at the lake and then get on our way?" Tim asked.

"Sure."

They didn't spend too much time at the lake, but they figured they should take some pictures of more than just a sign. Then, they stopped at a place for lunch and continued on their way south.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

As they drove down from Massachusetts, they jumped off of I-84 to I-78 and went through Pennsylvania. They stopped here and there to take some pictures and let Tommy run around, but he actually fell asleep for part of the drive which made things much quieter for a little while.

Then, as they were driving, Tony noticed a billboard.

"Roadside America. Indoor miniature village. Huh," he said. "Want to stop?"

"Sure," Tim said. "Tommy, do you want to see a mini village?"

Tommy was just waking up so he was a little groggy.

"Yes, Daddy," he said without much enthusiasm.

"Wow. Is that the first time he hasn't shouted about something?" Tony asked.

"On this trip, probably," Tim said. "He'll get more alert."

"Shucks."

Tim laughed and slugged Tony. "You love his enthusiasm and you know it."

"I know you love it, and that's good enough for me."

"Is it?"

Tony glanced at him. "Yeah, it is. I told you before that I like seeing you be a dad, Tim. Part of that is how much you love all the things Tommy does."

Tim didn't seem to know what to say and instead looked out the windshield.

"Don't miss the exit."

"I won't."

Tony took the exit and headed for the building called Roadside America. He really wasn't sure what to expect with this. He'd never heard of it, but it had its own billboard. ...but then, so did Wall Drug and the Corn Palace. The building wasn't all that impressive, but the sign was unmistakable, so he parked in the lot.

"I'm picturing something like Barbies."

"I have no idea," Tim said. "You going to be able to walk?"

"I'm not that feeble, Probie," Tony said, although he could still feel the bruises and the pulled muscles from his semi-successful attempt to hold Tim over his head.

Tommy got out of his booster seat and climbed out of the car as Tim did. Tony was still amused at how protective Tim was. He might even go a little overboard, but he did still expect things of Tommy that would help him as he grew up.

"Well, we're here. Let's see. Are you ready, Tommy?" Tony asked.

Tommy was now more awake.

"Yes!"

"Good. Let's go."

They went inside and paid. They were fortunate in that Tommy was still five years old and that meant that he was still free. Then, they walked into the display area and Tony stopped for a moment in surprise.

"Daddy! Look! It's the whole world, only tiny!" Tommy said.

"It sure does look like that, doesn't it," Tim said. "I had no idea what it would be. Did you?"

"Not a clue. I'm not sure if I'm amazed or shocked," Tony said.

"Maybe both," Tim said.

But then, Tommy wanted a closer look. He grabbed Tim's hand and started pulling him forward.

"Look, Daddy!"

"I'm looking, Tommy."

The space was huge and it was full of a tiny village, but it wasn't the whole world tiny. It was a chronology of how the town would look from pioneer times to the present...or at least pretty close to the present.

"Daddy, there are trains! They're moving!"

They walked all around the display. It was monstrous. And so detailed. Trees, buildings, cars, people. Nothing was lacking. The most amazing thing was that it had all been built by one man. He had continued adding to it until he had died in the 1960s. It was amazing.

Tommy was enthralled. He was constantly pointing out the different objects and pushing every button that was there to be pushed.

"Daddy, what's a hurdy-gurdy?" Tommy asked, sounding out the strange words.

"I don't know. Push the button and see."

"Okay!"

Tommy pushed the button and music started to play. It sounded like a cross between a violin and a bagpipe.

"Weird!" Tommy said, sounding delighted.

They kept going, walking along, taking pictures, posing for pictures and pointing out the details that they could see. They actually stayed in the place for an hour and Tommy didn't get tired of it at all. He loved it because he never ran out of things to see. There was always something new to point out as being particularly amazing. There were multiple trains. There was a circus. There were lights. The people going about their days. At the end, they got a picture of the three of them with the village spread out behind them. Then, it was back outside, blinking in the daylight.

"Wow. That was amazing," Tim said. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Did you like it, Tommy?" Tony asked.

"Yes! There were horses! And people and..." Tommy began listing off everything they'd just seen.

"Definitely worth stopping for," Tim said, as Tommy kept talking.

"Definitely, even if Tommy won't stop talking about it."

"It's genetic," Tim said and grinned. "We probably should think about stopping driving soon. It's getting close to dinnertime and Tommy will need his sleep."

"Okay. Let's get in the car and see what's ahead of us."

"Tommy, do you want to talk to Mom about what we saw?" Tim asked.

"Yes!"

"Okay. I'll call her, but don't put any other buttons, okay?"

"Okay!"

Tim dialed home and then handed his phone back to Tommy.

"Mommy, guess what we saw!" Tommy said excitedly.

Tony could only guess what Delilah was thinking as Tommy began to describe the village. With Tommy momentarily distracted, Tony pulled out his own phone while Tim got out the atlas and they began to evaluate how much further they'd go that day.

"Harrisburg looks like it's not too much further," Tim said. "There's got to be hotels there."

"I'm sure there are," Tony said. He did a search. "Looks like there are plenty."

"Any with two bedrooms like we had in New York? That was really convenient."

"More expensive."

"I'm willing to make up the difference."

"Okay." Tony searched again. "Yep. There are a few in Harrisburg. Hilton, Red Lion."

"Good. Pick one of them and we can go."

"Daddy, Mommy wants to talk to you," Tommy said, pushing the phone forward.

Tim took it and grinned at Tony. "Hey, Delilah." He paused. "Yeah. We're going to get to Harrisburg tonight, have dinner and get started down to Monticello in the morning. We should be there by noon at the very latest."

"As long as someone doesn't oversleep," Tony said, grinning.

Tim ignored him.

"I'll call you when we leave Monticello, so you know when to expect us home. Yes, I miss you, too. Love you. Bye."

Tim hung up.

"I'm ready to go. Tommy, we're going to drive for about an hour and then we'll get dinner, okay?"

"Okay!"

Decision made, they drove to Harrisburg.

"Daddy, where are all these people going?" Tommy asked.

"I'll bet they're going home. It's evening, so it's after work," Tim said.

"Is that like what you do?"

"Yep."

"Tony, do you drive home after work, too?" Tommy asked.

"Yep," Tony said.

"There are a lot of cars."

"Yes, there are."

"There are a lot of cars with only one person."

"Yep."

There was a moment of blissful silence.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"How many cars are there in the whole world?"

"I don't know."

"Can you guess?"

"Well, I don't know. Let's see..."

And this was when Tony really was amazed by Tim's patience and simply enjoyed Tim's parenting. Instead of tossing something out or shutting down Tommy's question, Tim was actually thinking about it. He wanted to answer but he'd already said that he didn't know. So he was guessing. ...because his son had expressed an interest in knowing. Tommy wouldn't even remember it after a few minutes, but Tim didn't care about that. He cared about answering his son's question.

"...and there are lots of people who don't have cars at all."

"Why not?" Tommy asked.

"People who live in cities can walk or take the subway or something. In some places, there aren't any roads to drive cars on. In some places, people are too poor to have cars. So if we take that into account, then..."

And Tony felt a pang, knowing his own father would never have done this. He wouldn't even have been paying attention enough to hear the question in the first place and if Tony had actually repeated himself (something he had given up doing pretty quickly), he would have simply blown off the question as irrelevant and pointless...which it was, but still...

"...and so if we cut the population of the world by half as people who don't have cars at all and then, we look at what's left, and we cut out the people who are too young or too old or whatever to drive, I'd guess that there are one to two billion cars in the world."

"How much is a billion?" Tommy asked.

Tim looked at Tony and smiled as he started to explain what a billion was. Tony loved hearing all this, not because he cared about the answers but because he loved what it demonstrated, and that little vein of envy reared up once more as he wished that he'd had a father like Tim when he was Tommy's age.

...and then, he thought of the photo in his wallet. As close as he'd ever come.

Finally, Tommy's curiosity was satisfied for a while. They made it to Harrisburg, stopped to get dinner and then went straight to their hotel. Tommy was already starting to droop, but Tim wanted him to get clean and so he took him into the bathroom and made sure he took a bath and didn't fall asleep while he was in there. Tony took that opportunity to call home.

"_Hey, Tony. Where are you?"_ Jo asked as soon as she answered.

"Harrisburg," Tony said.

"_Are you on track for Monticello?"_

"Yep. We'll call as soon as we leave tomorrow, but we'll probably get there before noon."

"_Great. So how has it been?"_

"Good. ...and you were right."

"_About what?"_

"About my dad."

"_You told him?"_

"Yeah."

"_And how did he take it?"_

"Honestly...I'm lucky he was willing to talk about it later."

"_I told you, Tony,"_ Jo said.

"You did. And you were right about other things, too. And so was Tim...when he read me the riot act."

"_So...what are you saying?"_

"I'm saying that... as much as I wish it wasn't, it's a big deal and it's bothering me."

"_I know you don't like to admit that, Tony, but there's no weakness in what you're feeling. Grace and Daniel are a lot the same in some ways. That's why you're so good with them. They know you understand, even if it's not conscious. You're a wonderful father, Tony. And I probably don't say that enough, but you are."_

"Well, I don't want to be the father I had," Tony said, keeping his voice low.

"_You'll never be that, but there's no shame in admitting you need help sometimes."_

"I know."

He could almost see Jo's knowing smile.

"Where are Grace and Daniel?"

"_They're out in the backyard. I told them they weren't allowed inside until dinner was ready, but then, they ran back out as soon as dinner was over, and I decided it wasn't worth it to force them back in to clean up."_

"I've missed you guys, Jo. I was glad for the vacation, but I'll be glad to get home again."

"_Good...because I've missed you, too. More than I can say. I love you, Tony."_

"Love you, too. See you tomorrow."

"_Bye."_

Tony hung up and leaned back. He heard Tim taking Tommy out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

"Stay with me, Daddy," Tommy said, sleepily.

"Okay. I will, but you need to lay down and close your eyes," Tim said.

"Okay."

Tony figured that Tim would just stay in the other room, but he wasn't very tired at the moment, so he sat on the couch and just stared up at the ceiling for a while. He hadn't really wanted to admit to how he felt, but if Tim knew, then, Jo should know, too. He sighed. He really hated that he was so upset about his father dying, but it wasn't quite as bad as it had been before he'd talked about it.

That was something, anyway.

Then, he was startled by Tim sitting down beside him. He sat up quickly.

"I thought you'd just go to sleep in there," he said.

Tim shrugged. "Not tired yet. Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"When I was trying to guess how many cars were in the world, you looked bothered or something, and I'm pretty sure that it had nothing to do with irritation that I was guessing about it."

"No, it didn't."

"Then, what was it?"

"You'll think this sounds pretty silly, but I was jealous of Tommy," Tony said and forced himself to smile.

"Why?" Tim asked, not smiling.

"Because he has you for a dad."

Now, Tim looked uncomfortable. He looked away.

"Tony, I'm really not perfect. I told you before that I make lots of mistakes."

"And I told you, it's not about being the perfect father. Tim, the worst thing I could ever have said about my dad was that he just didn't care. I could have dealt with a lot of mistakes, even really bad ones, even when he left me behind in the hotel room, if he had just cared about me, but he didn't. He remembered me because I put charges on his credit card. It wasn't because he cared about me. He never did, and I'm jealous of Tommy, not because he has a perfect dad, but because he has a dad who cares. He has a dad who wants to answer his questions, who is willing to think about those questions, who is a little overprotective because he cares so much. That's what I wish I'd had. Not a perfect father but one who cared about me. And that's the father I'm trying to be with my kids. The one who really cares, even if he screws things up."

"You are that, Tony. I saw Grace's expression when you were leaving. She wanted you to come back, and you acknowledged it but also assured her that you were coming back. You didn't just give in to her fear. You're doing an amazing job."

"So are you."

"Yeah. Except when I'm not."

"Nope, Tim. You're not allowed to do that because we both know where that can lead."

Tim leaned forward and clasped his hands together.

"I just hate knowing what I put my family through. And everyone can tell me that it's okay, that it's in the past, but Tommy proved to me that it's not."

"When?" Tony asked, furrowing his brow.

"When he overreacted to a friend's comments because he was afraid that I would feel bad again. Even if it's not a conscious memory, Tommy still remembers how bad I was." He looked at Tony. "How many years will it take for him to set that aside?"

"Hey, Tim. No. It is in the past and Tommy is fine. He loves you and he cares about you, and he trusts you. That means it's okay, even if he does have that kind of reaction. And if you forgive yourself, then, over time, Tommy won't even think about it himself, either. If you make a big deal out of it, then, Tommy will think it's a big deal."

Tim shook his head and stared at the floor. "You don't want to be like your father, Tony. I don't blame you. I don't want to be like myself. I was dangerous. What if I'd had a complete breakdown? What if I'd taken it out on my family? At least you don't have to worry about that."

Tony grabbed Tim by the shoulders and shook him a little.

"No, Tim! You can't start that again. I know it still happens sometimes, and I'm sorry that talking about all this brought it out again, but you didn't hurt your family like you think you did. They were afraid for you and they were sad, but they weren't afraid _of_ you. So stop it. You are a good father and a good husband and a good person. So knock it off!"

To his credit, Tim managed to smile at the way Tony phrased it, but Tony could see the regret in Tim's eyes. He was about to apologize for making things about him. It was his biggest worry, ever since his breakdown after Allison Jenkins' death. He never wanted to take precedence over anyone else. He wanted his problems to be minor and in the background and others to be in the forefront.

"And don't you dare apologize," Tony added, but he grinned as he said it.

Tim actually laughed.

"It's funny, you know. I'll go along and feel completely normal for weeks, even months at a time, no problems and then... out of nowhere, it'll just hit me right between the eyes. I don't know why." He took a breath and shook his head. "Thanks for stopping me from being stupid."

"Nope. Not stupid. You're fine. I know about it and now you know about my stupid stuff, too. So either we're both stupid or neither of us are."

"And I take it I can't just say we both are?"

Tony smiled. "Nope. Not allowed."

"Okay. Anyway, trip's almost over."

"Yep, and it was a good one, Tim. Even our fight was helpful. So it was a good one. We can put this on the good side."

Tim looked at him significantly. "How many are on the bad side?"

"Well..." Tony actually gave it some real thought. How many _would_ he put on the bad side? "I'd say only one...maybe two at most."

"The first one and the fifth one."

"Yeah. But I'd say that the fifth one was worse, even if you might not agree. I was genuinely afraid of what was going to happen to you and I screwed up by forcing you to talk to Gibbs too soon. The first one wasn't great because I didn't know what was going on, but you told me pretty early on. And you can't beat Wall Drug."

"And the Corn Palace."

"Exactly. But only those two. All the others are good, even when there was serious stuff in the middle."

"Okay." Tim took a breath and stood up. "I'm going to see if I can get to sleep."

"Me, too. See ya in the morning."

Tim walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Tony sat there for a few more minutes, thinking about what Tim had said. He knew that Tim's problems were long-term, and he accepted it. It was a good thing, too, because he was never ready when Tim suddenly got upset, but he knew that Tim wasn't usually ready for it, either...because it was pretty rare nowadays.

And more importantly, Tim was still trying to be better and that made all the difference.

He cared.

Tony nodded to himself. Even with the problems, Tony had a family he had come to rely on because they cared.

One more day.

He went to bed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Small hands were tapping his face.

"Daddy! Wake up! It's morning!"

Tim squinted and then the hands were gone and replaced by an earthquake. He opened his eyes and sat up to see Tommy jumping merrily on the bed.

"Daddy! It's morning!" he said again.

"Yes, it is, Tommy," Tim said and yawned. He raised his arms above his head and stretched.

...and then was knocked back to the bed when Tommy took that gesture as an invitation and launched himself at his dad before he was ready. If he wasn't already awake, he would definitely be awake now. Tim began tickling Tommy until he shrieked with laughter. Then, he let him go.

"Okay, Tommy. I'm up and you definitely are. Let's see if we woke up Tony, okay?"

Tommy jumped on the bed a couple more times and then nodded. They walked out into the main room and saw that Tony's door was still closed.

"He must be still asleep," Tim said.

"Can we wake him up, Daddy?"

It was _extremely_ tempting, but Tim shook his head.

"Nope. Not this time. You need to go to the bathroom and then we both need to get dressed. If Tony is still asleep then, we'll wake him up. Okay?"

"Okay."

Tommy ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Tim shook his head. If Tony _wasn't_ awake after that, he must be really out of it.

As if on cue, the door to the other bedroom opened and Tony came out rubbing his hands over his face.

"Oh, Tony, Tommy is going to be so disappointed," Tim said.

"What? Why?"

"Because he didn't get to wake you up...like he did me."

Tony laughed and yawned. "And how did he wake you up?"

"By smacking me in the face and then jumping on my bed."

"I'll pass, thanks," Tony said.

"I figured you would. How did you sleep?"

"Okay. You?"

"Okay."

"Tommy slept well?"

Tim laughed. "Yeah. That's why he was awake before me."

"Ah. You ready to get on the road?"

"Yeah. As soon as we have breakfast."

"Okay. Just let me get myself ready."

"Don't take too long primping," Tim said with a grin.

"Ha. Very funny. I still haven't forgotten your lotion," Tony said.

"Well, then, your memory is better than mine. What lotion is that?"

"The smelly lotion you kept in your bathroom."

"When in the world did you look in my bathroom?"

"One of the times we came over to get you because you were taking too long."

Tim rolled his eyes, but then, Tommy came out of the bathroom.

"Tony, you woke up! I wanted to wake you up," he said.

"Not this time," Tony said. "I'm not sure I could take it."

He went into the bathroom and Tim got Tommy to help him gather their stuff. Then, they all went down to have breakfast before checking out and getting on their way. Tony was driving first because Tim would be driving back to D.C. after dropping him off at Monticello. As they went along, they didn't have anything particularly in mind, but after they'd been driving for about an hour, Tony saw something.

"Hey, look at that! We're taking the next exit," he said.

Tim had been trying to teach Tommy how to play cat's cradle, with not much success. He looked up.

"What for?"

"We're going to Scotland, Probie," Tony said, with a grin.

"Scotland?"

"Yep. Scotland...Pennsylvania."

"Okay...why?"

"Because of the name. That's all. I just want a picture by a sign and all things considered, you don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to wanting to stop because of a name."

Tim grinned. "I'm not the one who fell."

Tony groaned. Tim had noticed a little bit of a limp as Tony had walked around before getting in the car, but he hadn't admitted to any soreness.

"We're still taking this exit."

"Fine by me. Tommy could probably use some time running around."

True to his word, Tony got off the interstate and drove until he found a place with a sign. Then, they all took turns standing by the sign and sent pictures to their families saying that they'd decided to go to Scotland. Scotland, Pennsylvania turned out to be quite small, lots of fields and farms. They saw some quaint barns and took some more pictures and then, they went and filled up the gas tank, even though they didn't need to and got back in the car, heading south.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tommy had fallen asleep in the back, and Tony took the opportunity to ask a question that had popped into his mind that morning. They'd been talking occasionally, but with Tommy sleeping, they were both enjoying the relative silence.

"Hey, Tim."

"Yeah?"

"What were you going to say?" Tony asked, glancing over.

He saw Tim's brow furrow.

"I wasn't saying anything. I wasn't even singing along with the radio this time."

"No, back in Bar Harbor. You said that if you stayed there, you'd say things you'd regret later. What were you going to say?"

Tim raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just curious."

"Well, I'm not going to answer that question, Tony," Tim said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm sure I'd regret you even hearing whatever I might have said."

"Whatever?"

"I didn't have anything in mind specifically at the time," Tim said. "I just knew that when I get mad, things slip out that I shouldn't say, and I didn't want to do that this time. So, no, Tony, I'm not even going to guess at what I might have said. Even if I knew for certain, I still wouldn't tell you."

"That bad, huh?"

"When I get mad, Tony, all bets are off," Tim said.

And he was serious. Tony realized anew that he really hadn't seen Tim angry very often, and that, on those rare times, Tim really did have an acid tongue. He really could wound with words. Considering how often Tim had been stammering and uncertain in the past, it was really rather impressive that he could so easily speak when the occasion presented itself.

"Why would you even _want_ to hear stuff like that?" Tim asked.

"Because I'm impressed with how eloquent you are when you're mad."

Tim shook his head.

"I'm not."

"Why not? It's not like I haven't deserved it on occasion," Tony said.

He glanced over and saw that Tim really wasn't taking that as a compliment.

"It doesn't matter if you deserve it. I always feel bad afterward."

That was true, too. He remembered how quickly Tim had felt terrible even in the midst of his breakdown after Allison Jenkins had been killed. Tony had only needed to point out what he had said and Tim had felt bad about it.

"Sometimes, it took someone reminding me of what I said, but I always felt bad. There's no lasting satisfaction in insulting someone."

"Not even Gibbs?" Tony asked, and then regretted it. "Sorry."

There was a long pause and Tony looked over. Tim was looking away from him.

"I shouldn't have even mentioned him. I'm sorry," he said again.

"No, that's a perfect example of what happens when I let myself just lash out, Tony. The things I said to Gibbs were true. He deserved them, but when I was actually thinking again, I felt bad for saying them. I could have said the exact same things to him when I was...sane, and it wouldn't have been so bad just because I would have had control over _how_ I said it. When I'm really angry, I fool myself into thinking I don't need to have control."

One more pause and Tony glanced over again. This time, Tim was looking at him, and Tony was surprised to see Tim with a bit of a smile on his face. It wasn't completely happy, but it was a smile.

"So be glad that I care enough to control myself around you, Tony," he said.

"Are we there yet, Daddy?" Tommy asked, sleepily from the back seat.

Tim raised an eyebrow at Tony, emphasizing that the conversation was now over. Then, he turned back.

"Not yet, Tommy. We have about an hour."

"Can you show me the cat's cradle again?" Tommy asked.

"Sure."

Tim got out the string and went back to trying to teach Tommy the movements needed to move the string into the various formations. Tony kept driving, but he was thinking about what Tim said and while Tim had probably been half joking (probably not much more than that), Tony really was glad that Tim cared enough to curb his tongue, even when he was angry. He hadn't appreciated that before, hadn't really even thought about it before, but now that he knew what Tim felt, he really did. One more unexpected insight into who Tim was.

Tony felt like, every time he assumed he knew Tim, he learned something more that showed he still had more depths that had yet to be seen. It wasn't even that Tim was hiding them. It was that it took something like this to bring them to the fore.

"Daddy, I slipped!" Tommy said.

"That's okay, Tommy. Let's try it again."

Tony smiled at Tim's patience.

This friendship was never boring. He couldn't complain about that.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim was really glad for the distraction Tommy had provided. He hadn't wanted to dwell on some of the things he'd said when he lost his temper. That was one reason why he was so determined to keep control of himself now. He didn't want that to become how he dealt with problems. He'd caused far too much pain to the people who meant most to him unintentionally. The last thing he wanted was to do it intentionally.

"Daddy, why does the string keep getting into knots?" Tommy complained.

"It takes practice, Tommy," Tim said.

"You don't make knots."

"My hands are bigger than yours. See?" Tim held up his hand, palm facing Tommy. Tommy looked at his hand and then put out his much smaller hand. Tim grinned and curled his fingers gently over Tommy's hand, completely covering it.

"Your hand is really big, Daddy," Tommy said, almost in awe. "Tony, is your hand really big, too?"

"Yep, but I can't show you until we get to Monticello. I'm driving and it's not safe."

"Okay."

Tommy pulled his hand away from Tim's and looked at it and then at Tim's hand again.

"Will my hand ever be that big, Daddy?"

"Probably. When you're bigger."

"My hands grow?"

"Yep. When we get home tonight, see how much bigger your hands are than your sisters' hands. Your hands were really small when you were their age, too."

Tommy stared at his hands for a few seconds, as if he was waiting for them to get bigger.

"You grow pretty slowly, Tommy. You won't be able to see it, but if we traced your hand now and then did it again next year, you'd see that your hand was bigger."

Tommy's eyes lit up.

"Let's do that, Daddy! Trace my hand!"

"You remind me when we get home and we will."

"Yea!"

"Do you want to get some of your books?"

Tommy nodded and Tim reached down and handed Tommy some of the little books he could mostly read. He read out loud, but he read. And when he didn't actually read the word, he just made it up. There were some interesting interpolations in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. Tim didn't know that Jack had gone to the Moon on his way to the giant's house. He smiled at Tony as Tommy read. Tony just grinned back.

"Never boring," Tony said.

"Nope. Not with Tommy around," Tim said.

"Not with you, either."

Tim looked over and Tony just smiled and focused on the road.

Tommy started asking if they were there yet with about ten minutes to go until even Tim had to tell him that he wasn't allowed to ask that anymore. But finally, they were pulling into a parking spot at the visitor center.

"Are we there yet?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, Tommy, we're here," Tim said. "Stay in your seat for a minute."

Tony pulled out his phone and called Jo.

"Hey, we just got into the parking lot. Are you here?" he asked.

Then, Tony began looking around.

"Okay. We'll get out and head for the visitor center," he said. "See you in a minute."

He hung up.

"They're here?" Tim asked.

"Yeah. Jo said we should head over to the visitor center and they should be there."

"Great. Okay, Tommy. Time to get out. Remember the rules."

"I stay with you and I hold your hand," Tommy said.

Tony grinned and Tim knew Tony thought it was a little silly, but just having that rule drummed into Tommy's head had saved him a lot of anxiety.

They got out of the car and Tommy obediently took Tim's hand. Then, they walked across the lots toward the building housing the visitor center, where Tony and Jo would buy tickets for Monticello.

"Do you see them?" Tony asked.

"Not yet."

Tim liked seeing Tony peering around. For all that he knew Tony had some struggles in being a dad, he could see how much Tony cared about his family and that really did make a lot of difference.

"Tony!"

Tony turned and Tim saw him smile as the crowds parted and Jo was there waving with one hand, holding Sam with the other, and Grace and Daniel, already taller than she was, standing beside her. He hurried over and gave Jo a long kiss that made both Daniel and Grace act grossed out. Then, Tony hugged Daniel and then, Grace hugged Tony very tightly. Tim saw Tony whisper something to her and she laughed a little and then let him go. By that time, Tim and Tommy caught up to the group.

"Did you guys have a good time?" Jo asked. "Tommy did you have fun?"

"Yes! And guess what we saw!" Tommy said.

"Whoa, not yet, Tommy," Tim said. "If you start now, we'll never finish. How was your week?"

"It was fine. I think taking some time off will probably have forced the people I work with to appreciate me a little more," Jo said, grinning. "I think I fielded about twenty calls from people claiming to be in crisis. Only about three were genuine."

"Thirty-two calls," Daniel said. "I counted."

Jo chuckled. "Then, I was off. Daniel is way better than I am at keeping track of those details."

Tim smiled.

"Now, Tommy, I'll let you tell me what you saw."

Tommy began listing everything. Grace and Daniel were both listening, although Grace was trying to pretend that she wasn't. Then, Tommy got to the trip to the lake.

"And I took pictures of Daddy falling on Tony!"

"What?" Jo asked. "What in the world is..."

Tony actually looked a little embarrassed, but Tim started laughing.

"Okay. What is he talking about?"

Tommy started pulling on Tony's arm.

"Tony, show the pictures! I took lots of pictures."

"You have pictures?" Jo asked, a gleam in her eye.

"Tony, no getting out of it now," Tim said. "You'd better show everyone how ridiculous we looked and I'll just make sure everyone knows it was _not_ my idea."

"For once," Tony said. Then, he reluctantly pulled out his camera. Jo snatched it from him and Tim could see the moment that she got to the pictures of Tony trying to hold Tim above his head because she started laughing very loudly. That got Daniel and Grace to come and peer over her shoulder. They started laughing, too.

"Tony, what in the world possessed you to even try that?"

"It was Tommy's idea," Tony said. "He wanted to see if Tim was as long as the name on the sign."

"Tommy, did you tell Tony to do it?" Jo asked.

"Yes!" Tommy said, proudly. Unlike Tony, he wasn't embarrassed at all.

Jo laughed again.

"I'm seeing it, but I still can't believe it. You two... I don't know if I should trust you to be alone."

"We weren't," Tim said. "Tommy was right there."

"Yes, I can see that. Documenting it for posterity. This is classic. It's definitely going into the photo album, Tony, and you'd better not delete them."

"And you'd better share them because Delilah will want to see it, too," Tim said.

"I'm not going to be able to show my face anywhere," Tony muttered as he took his camera back.

"You'll get over it," Tim said. "But Tommy and I should get on our last bit of driving and you guys should get into Monticello. This is one place where I'm pretty sure Tommy won't have much appreciation yet, and I want to get home to my family."

Jo gave him a hug and then, Tony surprised him by hugging him, too. As he did, he spoke in a low voice.

"Thanks, Tim. For all of it."

"Are you sure of that?" Tim asked.

"Positive. I really needed it. Thanks."

"Thank you," Tim said. "If you need anything..."

"I'll call."

"And I'll be there."

"I know."

"Good. About time," Tim said and smiled.

Tony smiled and slugged him lightly on the arm.

Then, it was time to go their separate ways. The end of a road trip, ending with neither of them actually at home yet, but that was okay. As their lives changed, the requirements for how the road trips went also changed.

But the heart of it was the same. Always the same.

Tim got Tommy back to the car as Tony and Jo herded their family toward the trail that would take them up to Monticello.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"We're almost home, Tommy. Are you excited to see Mommy and Esther and Evelyn?" Tim asked, looking in the rear view mirror at his son.

"Yes!" Tommy said. "I want to show them everything we got and the pictures!" Tommy said happily. "Do you miss them, Daddy?"

"Yes. I always miss the family when I'm not with them. Even just when I go to work."

"Really? Do you miss me?"

"Yes," Tim said. "Nothing is more important than family."

"What about Tony? He's not family."

"Yes, he is, Tommy," Tim said.

"But he's not your brother. He's not Mommy's brother, either."

"There's more than one kind of family. Do you remember that Daniel and Grace aren't related to Tony, either?"

"Yes. He's going to adopt them. That means make them his family," Tommy said.

He'd heard Delilah and Tim talking about Tony's foster kids one day and had, of course, asked questions.

"Exactly. Well, no one adopted Tony, but I think of him as part of my family even though we're not related."

"So do you miss him, then, too?"

Tim smiled. "Yes. Before you were born, Tony and I worked in the same place and we saw each other every day. Sometimes, I wish we could do that again, but we have jobs in different cities."

Tommy was quiet for a few blissful seconds.

"So...can Tony be part of my family, too?"

"Yes, absolutely. Do you want him to be?"

"Yes!" Tommy said, happily.

"Okay. Then, you can tell him. He'll like that."

Tommy was enthusiastic about that idea and that carried them through until they finally pulled into the garage.

Home at last.

They walked into the house.

"Guess who's home!" Tim said.

Delilah was on the couch reading, and Esther and Evelyn were quietly playing on the floor.

That tranquility vanished as soon as Tim spoke. Both Esther and Evelyn jumped up and ran over to Tim, reaching their hands up to be held and squealing excitedly. Esther got to him first, as usual. While Tim picked them both up and hugged and kissed them, Tommy ran over to Delilah and hugged her, all the while trying to say everything all at once.

"Da!" Esther said and gave him a slobbery kiss. "Da home!"

"Daddy!" Evelyn said. "Love you!"

Tim loved hearing it from them every time. He set the two of them down and then was happy to see them run over to Tommy and hug him, too. Tommy wasn't quite as interested (although he did measure his hands against theirs to see how much bigger his were) but he was happy to give them the toys he'd picked out to give them. They were excited to get them.

"Do you know how nice and quiet it was in here before you walked in?" Delilah asked as Tim walked over to join her on the couch. She set her book aside and Tim sat down.

"I'm sure it was great."

Delilah leaned over and kissed him soundly.

"It was, but having you two back is greater. Welcome back, Tim," she said. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"We have souvenirs and pictures and lots to tell you," Tim said. "Right, Tommy?"

"Show the pictures, Daddy!" Tommy said.

"Good idea. Let's do that."

And they spent much of the afternoon just showing what they had done on the road trip. Sitting on the couch, his wife and children sitting there with him, Tim wasn't sure there was a better place in the entire world.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tony stepped into the house and dropped his bag on the floor.

"It is good to be home," he said.

"Great," Jo said as she carried Sam inside. "Don't leave your bag on the floor. At least put it in the laundry room."

"And here, I thought you might have missed me a little bit," Tony said and then leaned over and chucked Sam's chin, evoking a bit of a smile.

"We did, but I still don't want your dirty clothes by the door," Jo said and reached up to kiss him.

"They're not _that_ dirty. ...except maybe the ones from when Tim and Tommy threw wet sand at me."

"Why did they do that?" Jo asked, grinning.

"Because I wasn't getting into the water with them," Tony said. "And because Tim can be surprisingly childish when he wants to be."

"Child-like, I'd say, more than childish."

"What's the difference?"

"The difference between the innocence of a child, that kind of wonder you don't see in adults usually and the petulance of a child who isn't getting his way," Jo said. "Put your bag in the laundry room. I won't even make you start it tonight."

"Thank you, ma'am," Tony said, with a mock salute.

"Are we going to eat out tonight?" Daniel asked, hopefully.

Tony smiled. "Unless Jo wants to, nope. I've been eating out for the last week. I'd rather stay home and cook."

"Are _you_ cooking?" Jo asked.

"Yes."

"Then, that's just fine with me."

Cue the teenage whining. Tony ignored it and put his bag in the laundry room. Then, he went to the kitchen.

"Any requests or do you just want to complain?" Tony asked.

"Something _not_ Italian," Grace said.

"Yes!" Daniel agreed quickly.

"You're wounding me here," Tony said, putting his hand over his heart. "How could you even say that?"

"Oh, come on," Grace said. "The only thing Italian about you is your name."

"And my cooking."

"Something Indian," Daniel said. "Please? Jo never dares do Indian."

"It's too spicy," Grace complained.

"Doesn't have to be. Let's see what ingredients we have," Tony said. "If we have them, then, we'll do Indian."

Daniel actually came into the kitchen to help him out while Grace pouted in the living room. Usually, he worried about doing anything that might make Grace leave him, but for whatever reason, that wasn't happening today.

"How about chicken tikka masala?" Tony suggested. "And if your sister will help out, we can do some naan bread, too."

"Grace!" Daniel shouted. "Come and help me make naan! You like naan!"

There was a brief period of silence, just long enough for Daniel to start to look worried. In fact, he took a step toward the living room. Tony just smiled and shook his head.

Sure enough, Grace came into the kitchen, still pouting but not overtly complaining.

"Chicken tikka masala doesn't have to be as spicy," Tony said. "We'll back it off a bit, and you can use the naan to calm it down, too. Okay?"

"Okay," Grace said, grudgingly.

However, she and Daniel were soon working together to make the naan, and Tony looked over to see Jo watching all the kitchen happenings with a contented smile. He smiled back. His life wasn't in the form he'd expected it to be, but overall, it was what he'd always wanted.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim looked in on Evelyn and Esther and they were both sound asleep for the moment. He never tired of seeing them. They were still a little small for their age, and Esther was a bit language delayed, but other than that, they seemed to have completely overcome the chaos of their birth.

...and he himself had mostly overcome it as well. Every time he got to see them being just normal little girls, he felt better.

"Tim?"

He looked over his shoulder and saw Delilah.

"Just checking on the girls. They're asleep."

"Good. So is Tommy. He kept talking about the trip until I made him lay down. Then, he was out like a light."

"That doesn't surprise me. Either part."

Delilah rolled over close to him and took his hand.

"He loves you so much, Tim. He'll probably be talking about this trip for weeks. It was so good of you to take him along."

"I love him, too, you know."

Delilah laughed a little.

"You ready to tell me what you couldn't with the kids awake?" she asked.

"Yeah."

They went into the living room and Delilah maneuvered herself on to the couch beside Tim.

"So Tony's dad died and he didn't say anything to you?"

"Nope, he didn't," Tim said.

"You seem pretty okay with it now."

"I am...mostly. Now. I wasn't."

"How bad?" Delilah asked.

"The only way I kept myself from saying a lot of really nasty things was by walking away from him and avoiding him for the next two hours."

Delilah took his hand.

"After everything you two have been through, I can't believe he wouldn't say something. Why did he keep that from you?"

"He didn't want it to be a big deal and if he told me, he'd have to admit that it was. And..." Tim sighed. Even now, this was the thing that bugged him the most. "...and because he didn't want me to be upset."

"What?"

"He felt that his job was to make sure that I was fine, not to give me something to worry about because he decided I had enough to worry about."

"I can hear it in your voice, Tim. You were really mad about that."

"Yeah."

"I don't blame you...but I don't really have it in me to blame Tony, either."

"You don't think I can handle being there to support my best friend? Tim asked, a little irritated.

"No, that's not what I think, Tim," Delilah said. "What I think is that, with everything you've had to deal with and everything Tony has helped you with, I can see why he would default to worrying about putting you in a bad head space. I think he was wrong about that because you being there for him would not be anything like what you've gone through, but I think I might understand that a little bit."

Tim still felt that annoyance, and it was obvious that Delilah could tell. She took his hand and squeezed it.

"Tim, you've had a lot of problems that you've had to work through in the last few years, and you've done that, but it's been hard. I get that he didn't want to make things hard for you again."

"Well, I still don't, but fine."

"You sound a little sulky," Delilah said, smiling a bit.

"I might feel that way."

"Tim, it's not a comment on your strength or weakness. It's just acknowledging the reality of your life."

"Uh-huh. Well, we had it out a bit when he got back from the whales."

"I thought you saw them."

"We did. The first time, Tony went by himself because I left, and he didn't see any."

"Oh."

"We talked about it some and then tried to set it aside, but the next morning, he tried to pass it all off as just a small thing, that it was nothing I should worry about, that everything would be fine. And I called him on that and gave him... a lecture."

Delilah actually laughed at the term.

"You cussed him out, didn't you."

"Yeah."

"He probably needed it and I haven't seen you mad very much, but you do a good job of expressing yourself when you control your anger."

Tim smiled a little.

"But then, as we were going back to Boston to get Tommy, I woke up during the night and Tony was crying."

"_Tony_ was crying?" Delilah asked, sounding almost shocked.

"Yeah. I don't know that I've ever seen him even close to that before. We talked a little more and Tony finally admitted that this was a big deal, that he was going to need time to deal with it all."

"That's good. Really, Tim, that's great that you got him to say it. Tony is a great guy, and he's been there for you through a lot of things but he's worse than you are at admitting he might need some help."

"The thing is, I was terrified that I was going to do everything wrong. As much as I wanted to help him, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to, that I'd make things worse. Tony says that I didn't, but I worried about it."

"I'm not surprised," Delilah said. She cupped her hand on his cheek. "You feel responsibility for too much sometimes, and I'm glad when you're willing to accept some help. But I'm really glad that you could give back because I know that's something you've wanted to be able to do for Tony."

Tim covered her hand with his and then pulled it around to his lips and kissed it.

"I love these road trips, but I always miss you when I'm gone."

Delilah pulled him over and kissed him on the lips.

"I always miss you, too, but I could tell that you needed the break. Did you get it, even with all this?"

"Yeah, I did. I had to explain to Tony that sometimes, I really do just need a break and dwelling on my problems doesn't help. I might even have convinced him that I was telling the truth."

Delilah laughed.

"And," Tim said, getting serious again. "I told Tony that he's still part of our family, even now. That whatever help he might need now or in the future, we'll be there for him because he's family."

Delilah interlaced her fingers with Tim's.

"Absolutely, Tim. If he needs us, he's got us." Then, she got a mischievous look on her face. "But do you know what I need right now?"

Tim grinned back. "I'm getting a feeling."

"Good. I'd say race you to the bedroom, but I still have to get in my chair and if we wake up the kids, this is not going to happen tonight."

"Then, forget the chair," Tim said. "I'll get it later."

He stood up, picked Delilah up in his arms and carried her back to their bedroom where he showed her just how much he had missed her.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Jo was rocking Sam in the nursery. Grace and Daniel were in their room asleep. Hopefully, they'd be confident enough to sleep in separate rooms soon, but that wasn't happening yet. They'd each been the only constant in life for each other and while that need was lessening, it was too soon to separate them, even just for the night.

Tony had checked to make sure that they were actually asleep. He didn't want them eavesdropping.

Sam was too young to eavesdrop.

He walked into the nursery and sat down beside Jo. Sam was nearly asleep. She smiled at Tony.

"I'm glad you're back," she said. "I never realized just how much I'd miss you when you were gone."

"I missed you, too."

Jo took a breath and then gave him a significant look.

"You were right. I already told you that you were," he said.

"So what are you going to do about it?" she asked.

"Do?"

"Yeah, Tony. If you're admitting that this is a big deal and that you're not getting over it anytime soon, what are you doing to do about it? Do you think you want to talk to someone?"

"No."

Then, Jo smiled. "Do you think you _need_ to talk to someone about it?"

"I don't know. And that's me being honest, Jo. I really don't know."

Jo looked at Sam and then stood up and carefully lay him down in the crib. Sam stirred as she set him down, but he didn't wake. She watched him for a few seconds. Then, she walked to Tony, took him by the hand and pulled him into their bedroom. She pushed him gently down onto the bed.

"Tony, some people _don't_ need to talk to a therapist after a family member dies. Some people are able to grieve and recover just with the support from friends and family, but if this is bothering you as much as you seem to be admitting that it does, maybe you should try it. I know that your dad was far from great. I mean, he didn't even show up to our wedding because he forgot the date."

"Don't remind me," Tony said.

"All that means is that it's more complicated for you than it would be for me. When my dad dies, I'll be really sad, even if he's 90 years old and blind and crippled and infirm and death is a release. Even then, I'll be sad, but it'll be something I can recover from because I can always hold onto the happy memories. Do you have that?"

Tony thought about the picture in his wallet. The stand-in for a genuine happy memory. It was such a generic picture that he didn't even remember when or where the picture had been taken.

He shook his head.

"Not a one. It's not that I have all bad memories, but..."

"You're dodging again," Jo said. "They don't have to be 100 percent miserable to be bad. You told me about him leaving you in the hotel room. Tony, that's neglect! I can't tell you how many times I've seen that in kids. It's neglect and it's damaging. That's why Grace and Daniel have so many problems. It's not the abuse. It's the fact that they grew up knowing their family didn't care about them. At least not enough to show it. You need to admit that what you had was neglect at best and emotional abuse at worst."

"It wasn't abuse," Tony said.

"I don't know if it was or not, but emotional abuse isn't just about screaming or hating. It can be about apathy, Tony."

"You've never said any of this before," Tony said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"That's because you seemed bound and determined not to admit that you had a problem, and until your dad died, you seemed to have managed it pretty well, but this has bothered you so much that I've been worried. Tony, I love you. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't. I wouldn't have married you if I wasn't willing to take your flaws along with your pretty face."

She smiled slightly and stroked his cheek. Tony grimaced and gently batted her hand away.

"But it hurts to see you hurt, and from the moment you told me your dad was dead, I could tell that you were hurting. I don't even know exactly what it is that hurts you most, but I can see it and I don't want that for you."

Tony was quiet for a long time, and to her credit, Jo didn't push anything. She just waited. Then, finally he sighed.

"Tim really got mad at me when I told him. When he was willing to talk to me again, I even admitted that you had tried to get me to say something sooner, but what scared me was... It wasn't Tim being mad at me. I didn't like that. You never want Tim genuinely mad at you. Ever. I learned that even better this time, but it didn't scare me."

"Then, what did?" Jo asked, gently.

"That Tim might take back what he said about me being part of his family." Tony reached out and took Jo's left hand. He began playing with the ring on her finger. "What scares me most is not having a family. Dad was family. As miserable, disappointing and neglectful as he was, he was still family because, when you're related by blood, you can't take that away, no matter what else happens. Everything else could go away, but not that. When Dad died, that was the last of my family. And I was terrified that Tim might take away the family he'd given me. There's no way he can ever know how much that meant to me when he first told me that he considered me to be part of his family." Tony looked at Jo. "For _years_ after that first road trip we took when he was falling apart at the seams, he was constantly saying thank you because of what I did for him. I tried to get him to stop. I told him that once was enough and he said it could never be enough. He still thanks me more than he should. ...but I get that feeling. If I was more like him, I'd be thanking him every day for giving me another family. A real one."

Small as she was, Jo was strong and Tony had always loved the strength he could feel when she hugged him. Now, she pulled her hand away from him and then wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. She still didn't say anything. Tony just let her hug him, enjoying that security.

"The fact that I've got you now is because Tim taught me about having a real family. And I never want to lose that, Jo. Not you, not our kids, not Tim."

"You won't, Tony," Jo said, finally. "You won't. I don't make promises lightly. The ceremony we had, the vows we made. We said that they're for life and I meant it. The only way that I'd break those vows would be if you suddenly turned into a psycho, and I don't see that happening anytime soon."

Tony smiled at that, but he also felt that ominous tightening of the throat and, even now, he really didn't want to start crying. Instead, he turned himself enough that he could return the hug Jo was giving him.

"I love you, Jo," he said, softly.

"I love you, Tony," she said. "Never doubt it and never forget it. And if you want to talk to someone about all this, I'll be there for you. If you don't, I'll still be there. ...but I can't guarantee that I won't hound you if I think you're making a mistake."

Tony laughed and pulled back.

"I can take that."

"Good." She reached up and kissed him. She leaned into the kiss...

...until there was an impatient squawk from the nursery. They both groaned.

"My turn," Tony said. "Can you hold that thought?"

"Maybe. If you're fast," Jo said.

"I'll try."

Tony headed back to the nursery. Even with the bad timing that only a baby could have, he could never give up the family he had now. He knew that and he knew that he needed to do whatever it took to keep it.

...and for now, that meant changing a diaper.

"You have terrible timing, Sam," he said to the whining baby. "But I love you anyway."


	25. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Three weeks later..._

It was a Sunday morning and Tim was sitting on the floor of the living room with Esther and Evelyn. Tommy was still napping and Delilah was, too. Evelyn had awakened very early from her nap and she had insisted on waking up Esther as well. So now, Tim was quietly entertaining them.

"Da, blue!" Esther said, emphasizing nearly every letter of the word, sticking out her tongue with the _l_.

"Good. Evelyn, what color is this?" Tim asked.

"Blue," Esther said. Again. Everything was blue right now for her.

"No," Evelyn said. "Red."

Then, they started gabbling at each other in the language that Delilah had started calling _Twin_. That there was meaning to the gabbling was obvious as Evelyn held out two blocks to Esther and lifted each one. Esther took them and gabbled back. Then, Evelyn looked at Tim.

"Dad. Red!"

"Good, Evelyn," Tim said. "Esther can you show me the yellow block?"

Unerringly, Esther picked up the yellow block. That was why they weren't worried about her vision. She knew what colors were, but right now, the word for every color was _blue_. Evelyn knew quite a few words for colors, and in a fit of whimsy, Tim had decided to teach her chartreuse. Delilah had asked why. Tim had countered, why not?

They kept up the colors and then Tim took some time building towers for Evelyn and Esther to knock down. They often barely let him get anything built before they were swiping at the blocks and toppling what little was there.

Delilah came out a little while later, followed by Tommy who also wanted to build and destroy towers. Delilah got onto the floor with the girls and then gave him a look. Tim knew what she silently telling him. So he got up and pulled out his phone. He dialed a familiar number and waited as it rang.

"_DiNozzo,"_ Tony said, sounding distracted.

"Are you busy, Tony?" Tim asked.

"_Hey, Tim. I will be for ten more seconds."_

There was silence for about twenty seconds. Then, Tony was back.

"_Ha. Done."_

"With what?"

There was a pause. _"Well...I started..." _He sounded embarrassed. _"Jo convinced me to see a therapist for a little while. He's making me write some stuff down every day and I was just finishing when you called. So I'm glad for the distraction."_

"About the stuff with your dad or something else?"

"_It's about Dad, but for now, I'll beg off giving details."_

"That's okay. I understand."

"_Yeah, you probably would. Oh, but since you called, we've got the court date for next week. Finally."_

"Any chance it won't go through?"

"_There's always a chance in foster care. Someone materializing out of nowhere to make the kids even more miserable because the judges don't seem to care about the individual children, just about the mandate to always keep families together."_ There was another pause. _"Sorry, Jo is infecting me with her passion."_

"There are worse things," Tim said.

"_True."_

"But congratulations. If you need anything from me..."

"_I'll let you know, but hopefully, what we'll need is for you all to come down here and celebrate."_

"Gladly."

"_Good. Now, what did you call for?"_

"Well, not yet, you understand, but in another year or so, maybe it'll be time for another road trip."

He could hear Tony's smile.

"_Any place you have in mind?"_

"Banff. In Alberta."

"_That's a long way."_

"We'd have to fly out and rent a car. We could still do plenty of driving that way."

"_What is there in Banff?"_

"Glaciers, blue lakes, more glaciers, cool hikes, rivers. Scenic stuff, but no oceans. No whales."

"_I think I could handle that. ...and maybe by then, Daniel will be ready and we can make it all the guys. ...except Sam."_

"Sounds perfect."

"_It does. Tim?"_

"Yeah?"

"_Thanks."_

Tim was surprised and he smiled, feeling touched.

"I thought that was my line."

"_Maybe it is but it's mine, too."_

"What are friends for?"

"_Not just friends. Family. That's why I'm grateful."_

"Anytime, Tony. Anytime."

"_I know. Thanks."_

"You're welcome."

They said their goodbyes and Tim had a moment of staring at his phone and wondering what had triggered that, but then, he decided it didn't matter.

Family was what mattered.

And friends who became family, no matter how.

FINIS!


End file.
